The Power Of Words

Words shape the world. We use them to communicate ideas and to interact with other people. We use them to communicate with ourselves. We think in words. We process emotions in words. If we didn’t have words the world as we know it would not exist. We would be living as our ancestors did 150,000 - 200,000 years ago before language developed. Dwelling in caves, hiding from predators, and living short, brutish lives. Words free the intellect. They describe beauty and they inflict pain. Words form ideas. Words hold the most transformational power of anything that has ever existed and will ever exist in the story of humankind.

When I was a kid I never understood the phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. I was a young person who dwelled on words. I replayed conversations in my head incessantly. I paid close attention to the things that people said about me or my family. I couldn’t imagine words not affecting me because, at that time, words had caused me the most pain. The point of the phrase is to help kids get past schoolyard insults, but it’s a horrible way to do that because it encourages kids to believe something that isn’t true. That words have no power.??

Words can be as impactful for good as they can for evil. Words can empower people, lift them up, and inspire them to do great things. We all have words like this living in our heads (or at least I hope you do). Positive words that were spoken over us by someone else. It was that time your friend complimented your taste, or your colleague told you how much they admired your presentation ability, or your partner saw your artistic talent and told you so. The people who spoke these words over us may not have known the power they held at the time. How could they know that their words would stick in our heads for the rest of our lives?? To them, it was just a nice moment, but to you, it meant the world.

I’m lucky enough to have a few of these moments rattling around in my head. But the one I come back to most often happened when I was about 10 years old. It was a family work day at my Grandparent's cabin. Myself and the other kids were tasked with moving firewood from a pile in the yard, to a stack by the door. I took it upon myself to organize everyone into a line so that we could simply pass pieces of wood one to another with minimal effort. As I was doing this I overheard my Grandpa say “Look at him go. Smart. What a leader.” He didn’t even say it to me directly, but I heard him say it. And those words have shaped my life. Ever since then, I believed I was smart. I believed in my ideas. And I believed I could be a leader. After all, my Grandpa had said so.??

There are two takeaways here.?

The first is that you wield great power when you open your mouth to speak. It doesn’t matter who you are. Someone is listening to you more deeply than you would ever reasonably expect. So pay attention. Use your power for good. You may think that the words you’ve spoken are destined to live a short life, but they could easily be granted immortality in someone else’s head.?

The second takeaway is that you should hold the people who speak into your life to the absolute highest of standards. Whether malicious or not, intentional or simply careless, you cannot afford to give space in your head to words spoken by someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. There can be no exceptions. Words have power. And the words that hold the most power are spoken by those closest to you. These are the people who can build you up or break you down. If one of these people speaks words over you that are motivated by their own insecurity, jealousy, or selfishness, you owe it to yourself to shut it down. Call it out. Let them know that they can’t speak that way to you and retain the privilege of your relationship.

Use your words to build up the people around you, and demand the same from those you allow to speak into your life.??

The stakes are high and time is short.

Don’t suffer fools.??