The Power of Withholds

There are not many foods that my husband does not like. However, there is one he vehemently loathes: Eggplant. It never made sense to me since there is not too much to hate about this rather bland vegetable. It all depends on how it's prepared and the sauce on top.

Several years ago, I decided to surprise him by bringing home take-out dinner of Chinese food. Noticing a photo of an eggplant dish that was chopped into tiny pieces smothered in sweet-and-sour sauce, I decided to trick him. Figuring he would never know, I could prove once-and-for-all that he really could like eggplant.

Setting the carton in front of him, he devoured it, commenting that it was quote, quite good. He did not ask what it was.

Grinning inside with told-you-so, I decided not to spill the beans.

What happened the next few days makes sense in retrospect, but at the time was confusing. I found myself getting extremely irritated with everything he did. Things that never used to annoy me -- his little quirks, his goofy humor, his loud chewing, his snoring, his nose hairs -- started driving me crazy. I even questioned why I had married this guy.

After several days of this, I decided to look deeper at what could have changed my previously happy marriage into one of snappishness.

What came to me loud and clear was “eggplant.”

Huh? Eggplant?

My higher consciousness explained that, even though no harm was done trying to prove that he could indeed like eggplant, what I did had become a withhold between us. I was experiencing the side effects of guilt.

I talk about guilt repeatedly in my Perfect Life Awakening courses. I refer to things we have done that we believe caused pain or loss as “fear-based actions.” Most of the time, we have a tendency to “forget” what we did, tucking them far back it into our subconscious. We make excuses or justify them in some way.

Yet, we judge ourselves, beat ourselves up, knowing that what we did went against our higher purpose in being alive: Love.

Instead of recognizing what we did, we start judging them, pulling away from whoever we have committed those actions on.

This was a perfect description of what was going on with the eggplant scenario. Even though eating a bowl of this vegie was harmless, not being honest with him was based on fear. That energy was destroying us.

Looking deeper, I saw that there were many things in my life where I had withholds. They were the cause of distancing, annoyance, judgmentalness. This realization inspired me to commit to cleaning them all up.

You know what I found as I bared my soul to many? No one even remembered any of these things except me.

When I sat down with my husband to tearfully confess my clandestine eggplant experiment, all he did was laugh. The only one I had hurt was myself.

That experience completely changed our relationship. We pinky promised to never again have anything withheld between us. Granted, it was not always an easy commitment to keep, but I figured it was a better choice than walking around feeling annoyed.

And even though I had been proven right about his unjustified dislike of eggplant, to this day he stubbornly still claims to hate it.

So, eggplant will never again land on his plate, even with sauce camouflaging those tiny, chopped up pieces.

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Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, a spiritually-based program, to take you from triggered to empowered!

Hear Royce talk about mirroring with Tamra Oviatt on "Living in the 5th Dimensional Consciousness!"

Perfect Life Awakening provides tools to discover and resolve sources of subconscious, self-sabotaging inner programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth, and unlocks the door to your highest potential.

If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner adventure can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness, and connect you to your authentic self.

Royce offers in person and remote group classes and private inner journey sessions using her empowering spiritual clearing techniques.

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Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings:

“Want: True love, past lives and other complications” explains the eternal connection of soulmates and the lessons that arrives from them.

“Know: A Spiritual Wake-Up Call” details in a step-by-step way, Royce's profound teachings that help you get in touch with who you really are by getting to the root of self-sabotage. Read more here.

“Back: Rebirth After Stroke” is Royce's personal spiritual journey after her husband's stroke that will help you through any traumatic event.

All Royce's books are available on amazon.com

Her website is www.RoyceMorales.com and Twitter is @RoyceMorales.

Her YouTube channel is Royce Morales. Email is LvsreaL@aol.com