The Power of "We"

I have tried to be an avid reader over the last 30-plus years. Books about history and leadership captivate me. While I was coaching at the University of North Carolina I read a book written by legendary UNC coach Dean Smith. In his book, he went into great detail about the final minutes of the epic 1982 National Championship game. It was an intense contest, back and forth until the final shot was made by a freshman named “Mike” Jordan. (He didn’t become “Michael” until he hit that shot!) That shot gave Coach Smith his first national championship.

One part of Coach Smith’s description of the final minutes of that game really stood out to me. He wrote that “we” missed the front end of a one-and-one with 1:28 to play. After that miss, Georgetown’s Sleepy Floyd went down and scored giving the Hoya’s a one-point lead. Coach Smith called a time-out to set up our offense. He was very calm in coordinating the next critical possession. We went onto the court with confidence and executed the offense that led “Mike” to hit the game winner after “we” missed the front end of the one-and-one. Then it hit me. “I” missed the critical foul shot with 1:28 to go in that game. Not “we”. “Matt Doherty” missed the front end of the one-and-one that could have cost Dean Smith “his” first National Championship. Yet Coach Smith intentionally wrote “we” instead of “Matt Doherty”. He protected me. In reading that part of his book I was in awe as I realized that he didn’t want to “throw me under the bus”. He easily could have mentioned my name and no one would have blamed him, including me.

Soon after reading his book, I saw Coach Smith in the arena watching our guys play. We had a recruit in town and I asked him to visit with the prospect. I mentioned to Coach that I just read his book and talked to him about the part where he noted that “we missed the front end of the one-and-one”. I reminded him that I missed that critical foul shot and asked him, “Why didn’t you write that I missed the foul shot?” His response was typical Coach Smith...he just smiled. He intentionally wrote “We” instead of “Matt Doherty”. Amazing!

The lesson here is that the little words we choose can make a big impact on the people around us. “We” instead of “you” can make all the difference in the world. “We lost a big account” or “You lost a big account”? “We lost the game” or “You lost the game”? “We need to get better” or “You need to get better”? “We” is inclusive. “You” is exclusive. Inclusion brings people together and creates loyalty. It creates a bond that brings people together to perform at their highest levels.

“We” need to be very intentional about the words “we” use, especially when “we” have crucial conversations with others.

“Little things are big things. If we take care of the little things, the big things will take care of themselves.”

Learn & Grow!

???????? ?? ???????? ????????-???????? ???????????

Listen to my deep dive with Chad as he struggled with his identity and then rebounded to become a man of faith and a successful real estate executive.??

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or click the link below.

My REBOUND webcast is free to join—wherever you are—and my guests share real, raw stories—sometimes inspirational, sometimes funny, sometimes deep and hard-hitting.

Join the conversation with me and my guest CW5 Traci Goodwin, Senior Counterintelligence Warrant Officer, U.S. Army on Tuesday, May 2nd at 8am ET.

Disclaimer:?There is no express or implied endorsement of Matt Doherty's REBOUND Webcast by the DoD or the U.S. Army.

Click the link above to register.