The Power of Vulnerability and Transparency in Building Strong Relationships

In both business and life, relationships are what matter most to me. I’ve found that great relationships are built on transparency and integrity—two qualities that allow individuals to reach a place of vulnerability. Here, we can share openly, build trust, and align ourselves personally and professionally. We can use it to find alignment.

When we approach interactions with honesty and mindfulness, daily exchanges become easier. There’s no guessing about what the other person is thinking. No need to walk on eggshells, trying to anticipate the “right” thing to say without upsetting anyone.

But getting to this level of clarity and ease doesn’t happen overnight. It requires intention. It takes consistent modeling, practice, and mutual agreement. It also requires the right people in the right seats on the bus.?

I remember being upset with a partner over something as simple as dishes. Instead of washing them, he contributed to the growing pile in the sink. I mentioned the pile, but he didn’t clean it, assuming I would. The expectation made me feel taken for granted—like a maid. In frustration, I decided to see how long it would go on. Every day, more dirty dishes contributed to my frustration, and sadness grew. After a week, I exploded. He was completely caught off guard. “Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted me to do them?” he asked. To me, it felt obvious. I had pointed out the pile.

After a candid conversation, I realized it wasn’t a deliberate act. The dishes simply weren’t a priority to him. He had always relied on me to take care of them, and he didn’t realize that his assumptions were affecting me negatively.

At the time, I was reading The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni (one of my favorite books), which helped me see things in a new light. In the book, Lencioni discusses the importance of vulnerability in achieving organizational health, and one quote stood out to me:

“At the heart of vulnerability lies the willingness of people to abandon their pride and their fear, to sacrifice their egos for the collective good of the team. While this can be a little threatening and uncomfortable at first, ultimately it becomes liberating for people who are tired of spending time and energy overthinking their actions and managing interpersonal politics at work.”

This idea made me rethink my approach to communication, both at home and at work. I realized that being vulnerable—openly expressing my needs and frustrations—was essential for building trust and understanding.

So, I became more deliberate and mindful in my communication. At work, I shared Lencioni’s books with the leadership team, and we began discussing them in our monthly meetings. I also brought passages into my team’s meetings, using them as starting points for exercises that would strengthen trust.

One such exercise sparked an important conversation among my team. One employee, feeling exposed, expressed how uncomfortable it made her when a colleague copied me on emails. She felt it suggested she was doing something wrong. The other employee was surprised by this perception (as was I). “I’m just dealing with the same thing you are and have been reporting it to Britni,” he explained. “I was just keeping her in the loop so she could see that the problem wasn’t limited to my account.”

This conversation marked a turning point. Little by little, we began to share more of our perspectives and build stronger bonds. We gained insight into each other’s intentions, strengths, and weaknesses. As a result, we started anticipating each other’s expectations and concerns more easily. Our communication became smoother and more efficient. Problems were identified and solved faster, without emotional entanglements.

For example, instead of immediately copying me on an email, the employees would have a discussion and gain agreement on involving me, creating ownership and mutual buy-in. Rather than letting frustrations fester, we asked more questions like, “What made you say that?” or “Can you elaborate?”?

As I worked through Lencioni’s framework, vulnerability and honesty became a powerful component of finding the alignment that directly influenced my strategic planning, employee development, and customer engagement processes. It also influenced my personal relationships. Instead of getting upset over dirty dishes, I simply ask, “Can you please do the dishes today?” My partner responds by washing them.??

However; while I feel everyone should be working towards these characteristics in their partnerships, teams, and with customers, know that it doesnt always come together. In the beginning, I said this requires intention. It takes consistent modeling, practice, and mutual agreement. It also requires the right people in the right seats on the bus.? Not everyone is willing to put in the effort. Sometimes, people need to be moved around or removed from the bus. Sometimes you are simply on the wrong bus and you need to learn when to get off.

Read more on my blog! Britni Fortin – ALIGNMENT STRATEGIES