Will Power Vs. ‘Won’t’ Power!

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Will Power Vs. ‘Won’t’ Power / 007: 05 Sep 2020

Can a simple candy determine which of the children in a group will achieve success later on in life? Apparently, Yes! This was proven by the amazing “Marshmallow” study by Walter Mischel, Stanford University, 1972 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcmrCLL7Rtw). In this experiment, a group of children were offered a marshmallow (soft candy) each. If they waited for about fifteen minutes before eating it, they would get another one. Then the researcher left the room, leaving the child looking at the marshmallow. Most children ate their marshmallow soon after the researcher walked out of the room, the video camera recording their cute moments of struggle with temptation. But some children took their chance, and resisted temptation – waiting the full fifteen minutes so that they could get another marshmallow to eat. All children were tracked for over forty years after the experiment, and it was proven that the second group of children (who were able to resist temptation better) went on to achieve better school grades, better health, better college education and generally more success in their respective lives. This study posited that a simple ability to delay gratification (or resist temptation a bit longer than others) paid off overwhelmingly in the long run. Later studies also found that socio-economic conditions of the children also had a role to play in their ability to delay gratification. It is now proven that developing Will Power or Self Control is a Cognitive skill, and not purely an innate quality that we were born with. It is one that can be learnt and developed over time, even as adults. This is the basis for my article on why we need both “Will” as well as “Won’t” power to succeed in our life and career.

Let's start with a simple example - if we were asked whether we wish to lose weight or become fitter, most of us would say yes – i.e. the “Will” power is very much there in all of us. But the reason why many of us give up – and have to repeat that pledge every year – is that while all of us have the intention and the “Will” power, only some of us have the additional “Won’t” power which is necessary to compliment the “Will” power – i.e. the power to resist instant gratification (wake up on time instead of sleeping on, exercise even when we’re feeling tired, saying no to junk food, etc.

• In the context of our academic life, “Will” power is the desire to excel and achieve better grades while “Won’t” power is the ability to balance it with all the distractions of college life
• In the context of our Work life, “Will” power is the desire to excel, succeed, and get promoted while “Won’t” power is the ability to stop procrastination and start work well in time to avoid last-minute pressures. It could also be a call to stay away from office gossip
• In the context of our social life, “Will” power is the intent to give quality time to our family, catch up with friends or engage in a hobby whereas “Won’t” power is our ability to avoid work after office hours, or to resist binge-watching TV and use the time to engage in family matters instead

Some people are born with an inner compass, they know what they want and how to avoid distractions in order to achieve their goals. They have it all figured out. Others (like me) learn to figure it out as we go along. In my own life, I have always struggled to keep the focus on my objectives (“Will” power) and improve my resistance to distractions (“Won’t” power). It is an ongoing struggle, in which I have become better over the years.  In this process, I have learnt a few valuable “how to” lessons which I share as below:

1.      Write it down!

For me, writing down a goal is the first step towards realising it. My goals pop up every time I start my computer – so that they remain fresh in my mind and I am able to take small incremental steps despite the daily distractions of life. This focuses my “Will” Power

2.      Plan to look around corners!

While planning my tasks, I think of potential distractions too. So I plan my exercise around my travel, my savings after budgeting for unforeseen expenses and commit to official deadlines after considering inevitable work emergencies. Looking around corners and being aware of distractions helps me boost my “Won’t” power

3.      It’s OK to stumble!

Even after planning and considering distractions, I do miss some commitments (say, weekend run) because my “Won’t” power was not strong enough to overcome sleep.  I remind myself that it’s OK to fail this week so long as I get back up and running next week

4.      Learn to unlearn!

Sharpening “Will” power and “Won’t” power means changing some current habits.  More time for reading means less time for TV, for example. Time is finite - we have to stop doing something before we start something else

5.      Take disappointments in your stride!

In the picture of an iceberg, we see only the tip (or achievements of successful people) without realising that there is a larger part beneath the surface (or struggles and failures that have shaped them). Even with “Will” power and “Won’t” Power, we may still fail but those disappointments and failures shape our eventual success

6.      Form a support system!

Announce your goals proudly and loudly to a select few. This serves two purposes – one, you are now committed – your “Will” power is in place! Two, your support system keeps checking in on you and keeps you focused so your “Won’t” power backup is also in place!

To summarise, I believe that we need to focus on strengthening the unfamiliar concept of “Won’t” power along with the popular concept of “Will” power. We also need to let go of some things to make time for new activities that will help us achieve our goals. To quote management guru Peter F. Drucker, “What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that’s another matter”. It all boils down to your “Will” Power and your “Won’t” Power in the end – they have an out sized influence on success in our lives.

I do hope you enjoyed reading this article. As always, I look forward to your feedback. Warm regards, Krishnakumar. 

Image Credit: The Science of Willpower - Kelly McGonigal, PhD Stanford University - PPT Presentation