The power of an unexpected compliment

We were inside our favorite ice cream shop – shout out Whit’s – on a random Monday night. It’s this small, popular place in Atlantic Beach, Florida. Lines always out the door, but only 5-7 people can fit inside at once. We both ordered the Beach Madness. It’s basically Recess’s pieces chunks with chocolate syrup. My wife adds cookie dough. Anyway, after we order, we’re standing off to the side waiting for the ice cream and there’s another young woman waiting too. We didn’t know her at all. She looked to be about 18. No more than 21.

She got her ice cream first and as she’s walking out of the shop; she looks at my wife and says, “I love your earrings and your purse.”

Pam had on pink earrings with her favorite pink purse that she recently got after our wedding. It has her new initials, PZL, on it.?

Pam had this glow on her face when the woman uttered the compliment. It was so random and unexpected that it provided this jolt. Pam didn’t need a jolt per say. We just had a great dinner, and we were about to get our ice cream so it was shaping up to be a great Monday night, but I could tell that this spur of the moment, out of the blue compliment gave her a spark.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the impact of a compliment on the walk home.

It got me thinking about the workplace and being a manager. So often, we lift our fellow employees when they do good work and when they likely expect to be complimented, but it’s often more special when it’s unexpected.

I sometimes fall guilty to only complimenting when it’s expected. Like when an employee knocks a project out of the park, I always try to pass along a thoughtful compliment. But likely, they are already getting complimented in three or four directions.

In my world, people are complimented when they edit/produce a great video, come up with an idea for a new sponsorship activation, execute a social media post that goes viral, etc. Those are the easy ones to compliment.

But think of other ways. What about the soft skills? Maybe you deliver the ...

"I really like how you are driving this project through the organized weekly meetings. Your energy is really pushing everyone to come together. I've seen (blank) really engaged in the project which is a big win for the team."

Or maybe a small detail you've noticed done over time like ...

"I've noticed the word choices in your copy really start to take off. You're using powerful words that will evoke emotion and really help drive engagement like this post from last week when you used the word (blank)."

Those examples might not be as obvious or expected from the employee, but it's still specific and thoughtful. Not just a, "good job on the copy last week" type of compliment.

Of course the compliments should be deserved, not forced, but I think it's OK to intentionally find spots to elevate the spirits and confidence of your employees.

This morning – which was the morning after ice cream – I sent one of my colleagues, Kaylynn Cline , a note about our growth on LinkedIn this year. It’s been a strong eight months for us on the Group 1001 LinkedIn page. We’ve nearly doubled the lifetime followers of the account heading into the year. It was nothing she did recently, so my guess is she wasn’t necessarily expecting the note so hopefully it provided the same jolt that my wife got in the ice cream shop.

I know it was a good reminder for me and maybe it is for others too.

Find a spot where your direct report or colleague from a cross-functional team least expects it and give them a lift.

Thanks to the woman in front of us for the reminder.