The Power of True Mentorship: My Journey of Growth and Transformation

The best mentors don't just shape your career - they transform your entire approach to life. I learned this lesson through years of what I refer to as "emotional boxing matches" with one of my first and most impactful mentors. Sessions where I'd walk in confident and leave humbled, but always stronger.

Early Days: When Confidence Met Reality

You know that saying about being "wet behind the ears"? That was me walking into Pick n Pay fresh out of university in July of 2012.

Armed with my diploma and a meticulously planned three-year journey to the CEO's office - because obviously, that's how long it would take.

In meetings and conversations, I made sure my voice was heard. Every time, because hey, I was smart and I wanted to show it. I wanted to grow, to prove myself, to make things happen. My solution? Jump into every discussion, hand in the air, ready with an answer whether I fully understood the question or not.

Looking back now, I can't help but cringe a bit, but that was me - ambitious, eager, and completely unaware of how much I had to learn.

That's where Heather Keenan Dharsey entered the picture. She became my work mom, though definitely not the warm-and-fuzzy type. Think less "here's a cookie" and more "here's a brutal dose of reality." Through her guidance, I'd eventually transform from that overconfident graduate into someone who could channel all that energy into actual, meaningful impact.

The Wake-Up Call

I remember walking into one of our first mentoring sessions, light-hearted and casual, treating it like just another conversation. Heather's response was swift and clear: "This isn't kindergarten anymore. If you want to grow and deliver, don't mess around. Perception is reality, whether you like it or not."

That wake-up call was just the beginning and it set the tone for all future sessions. It marked my first real lesson in professional development - the understanding that success isn't just about ability, but about how you're perceived and the seriousness with which you approach your role.

A simple but powerful truth emerged: if I wanted to achieve my ambitious goals, I would need to become more self-aware and put in the real work, not just talk about it.

The Detail Orientation Journey

One of Heather's earliest observations about me hit close to home: my "checklist approach" to life. I was that person who treated everything like a to-do list - learn this, tick that box, and move on to the next thing. In my mind, why spend extra time on something when you've already figured out the basics?

What I thought I knew, but wasn't aware of was that in business and life details matter. This was especially true in supply chain and demand planning where "small" errors could result in millions of excess stock sitting in warehouses, or worse, empty shelves during peak seasons. One misplaced decimal, one overlooked variable in your analysis, and you could have trucks delivering Christmas stock in January.

Sure, I could grasp the concepts quickly - that was never the issue. I understood the theories, the frameworks, the basic principles. But Heather saw something I was blind to: my execution lacked depth. I was so focused on getting things done and moving to the next challenge that I wasn't building the thoroughness needed for long-term success.

"It's not about ticking boxes," she would tell me, usually after I'd try to rush through an analysis or skip steps in a process. "You need to understand that gaining depth of experience isn't optional - it's fundamental. You can't shortcut your way through life."

Those words would echo in my head during the countless hours spent meticulously reviewing numbers, double-checking analyses, and preparing thorough reports. I remember being frustrated beyond belief, going through line after line of data, checking and rechecking every calculation. It felt like torture at the time - pure, mind-numbing torture.

But here's the plot twist: years later, that "torture" turned out to become one of my greatest professional strengths. What I saw as a frustrating delay in my career progression was actually the development of a skill set that would set me apart throughout my career. That attention to detail, the ability to spot patterns and errors, and the discipline to double-check everything - these became cornerstones of my career progression.

The irony? Today, even though diving into the details still isn't one of my favourite things to do, it's become one of my core strengths. When others might miss critical details in their rush to move forward, I know how to slow down and dig deep. All because one mentor cared enough to force me out of my comfort zone and into the trenches of true professional development.

Learning to Walk Before Running

Our mentoring sessions followed a predictable pattern: I'd walk in riding high on positive feedback from managers, proud of project deliveries and performance metrics. Within minutes, she'd bring me crashing back to earth: "Your ego is getting ahead of you." Followed by an observation of my approach or latest interaction that I wasn't aware of.

One of Heather's most impactful lessons was simple but profound: "You're thinking too much about tomorrow when you haven't mastered today." This wasn't about dampening my ambition - it was about making it sustainable.

She helped me understand that real success isn't built on shortcuts and quick wins, but on mastering the fundamentals and earning each step forward.

I was always thinking about the next thing, the next goal, the next step on the career ladder. Thinking like that is exciting, but dangerous as I realised that I could (and sometimes did) drop the ball on today's tasks that would help me get where I wanted to be tomorrow.

The Evolution of Trust and Growth

What made this mentorship exceptional wasn't just the tough love - it was the genuine investment in people's growth. She wasn't doing this for recognition or compensation. She did it because she cared, because she had a passion for developing others.

Our relationship evolved significantly over time. Those early sessions where she held up the mirror to my blind spots gradually transformed into deeper discussions where I'd bring my own observations and challenges. This shift didn't happen overnight - it took years of consistent guidance and, if I'm honest, pushing through my own stubborn resistance. But eventually, that lack of self-awareness she kept highlighting started turning into something resembling actual insight.

The power of Heather's mentorship really hit home during a pivotal career decision. I had landed a promising role at one of South Africa's leading online retailers. The opportunity aligned perfectly with my career aspirations - it was exciting, challenging, and exactly where I wanted to go. I accepted the position, ready to start my new journey.

Then, just days before my start date - literally the Friday before I was supposed to begin on Monday - Pick n Pay's online division came with a counteroffer. It was compelling, almost impossible to refuse. I was torn. On one side, a fantastic new opportunity at a growing online retailer. On the other, a strong counteroffer from a company I knew, in a division aligned with my interests.

I walked into Heather's office that Friday, feeling completely dejected despite having two great options in front of me. What I wanted - what I really wanted - was for someone to just tell me what to do. Make the decision for me. Take away the weight of this choice off of my shoulders.

But that wasn't her style.

Instead, she created a space where I could voice all my concerns, fears, and uncertainties. She asked probing questions that forced me to think deeper about what I really wanted. She helped me weigh not just the opportunities, but also the implications of my decision on my integrity and professional reputation.

Through her guidance, I made one of the toughest calls of my early career - calling the online retailer at 5 PM on that Friday to decline the position I had already accepted. It felt awful making that call. But I knew it was the right decision, one I had reached through careful consideration rather than someone else's directive.

That decision proved to be the right one. Staying with Pick n Pay opened up numerous growth opportunities and exposed me to experiences that shaped my career. But more importantly, the process of reaching that decision, guided by Heather's questioning rather than direct advice, taught me invaluable lessons about decision-making, integrity, and trusting my own judgment.

Beyond the Office Walls

While our mentorship centered on professional development, its impact reached far beyond office walls. The lessons about perception, self-awareness, and thorough analysis became part of my personal toolkit. What started as career guidance became life guidance.

Those "training sessions" with Heather helped me condense what could have been a decade of learning into a much shorter timeframe. She didn't just help me become a better employee - she helped me become a more effective human being.

For example, forcing me to become more detail-oriented changed how I evaluate opportunities and make decisions, far beyond just business. That habit of diving deep, of not accepting surface-level understanding, has saved me countless times in personal projects and relationships.

Here's what I've realised: this wasn't just about becoming a better employee - it was about becoming a more effective human being. Those "emotional boxing matches" helped me compress what could have been a decade of learning into a fraction of that time, teaching me how to truly learn from experience.

Take communication, for instance. Those early wake-up calls about perception being reality? They completely changed how I interact with people, I became much more self-aware. I learned to read rooms better, to understand that intent and impact are often miles apart, and that sometimes the message you think you're sending isn't the one being received.

Or consider decision-making. Heather's approach of guiding through questions rather than providing answers? That's become my go-to method for tackling life's complexities. It's amazing how often the right answer emerges when you know how to ask yourself the right questions.

But perhaps the most valuable lesson was about growth itself - that real development isn't about racing to the next milestone, but about building solid foundations that support future success.

Full Circle: Becoming a Mentor

Today, I find myself on the other side of the mentoring table. When friends, colleagues or ex-colleagues reach out for guidance, I often catch myself channelling Heather's approach - not because I'm trying to, but because I've experienced firsthand how effective it is.

Every time someone asks me for guidance, helping them navigate their career challenges or personal growth hurdles, I find a new appreciation for what Heather did for me.

I understand now why she never gave me direct answers, why she pushed me to dig deeper, why she insisted on excellence rather than just completion.

The real impact of mentorship isn't just in the moment - it's in how it ripples through time. When I help someone work through a complex decision or challenge their assumptions, I'm not just passing on Heather's wisdom; I'm extending her legacy of genuine, transformative mentorship.

A Thank You That Cannot Be Measured

Heather, your impact on my life extends far beyond career guidance. Your willingness to invest time in my growth, to push me when I resisted, and to help me see beyond my limitations has shaped not just my career trajectory, but my entire approach to professional and personal development.

You taught me that true mentorship isn't about hand-holding or easy answers - it's about challenging people to be better versions of themselves. It's about having someone in your corner who cares enough to tell you the hard truths and stick with you through the growing pains.

If more organisations and leaders understood the profound impact of genuine mentorship - not the tick-box kind, but the deep, transformative kind you provided - imagine the positive ripple effects we'd see in both professional excellence and personal growth.

Your impact continues to multiply as I pass these lessons on to others.

Thank you for being the mentor I needed, even when I didn't know what that meant.