The power of silence

Check out this blog post by Chianne Buckle, one of our Corporate Coaching Managers:

How do you feel about silence??

I recently had the opportunity to receive two coaching sessions (and I love receiving coaching whenever I can), but these were particularly unique. I was working with a Time to Think coach ( Dr. Oliver Hayakawa ) who specifically focused on creating an environment for me to do my best thinking.?

This meant a lot of silence.

The session started with a question inviting me to think about whatever I felt was important, and when I’d stopped talking (which was after about 15/20mins of me giving a monologue on my life) was then asked the question, “What more would I like to think about?”.

My coach didn’t say anything during that first session – he just listened. I say “just” not to trivialise the power of the action but to highlight how such a simple act can have such a profound impact. He attentively and actively listened. He bracketed and held back any ideas, advice, or questions that he thought I needed and just gave me space…to think.

Once I overcame my self-conscious concern about wasting his time or “rambling”, something happened. I embraced the silence, and I started to solve my own problems. I reached a place of stillness, grounding and clarity that helped me move through the areas where I felt stuck.?

The silence he offered was a gift.

It was more than just the absence of noise. It was the presence of another human, attentively and with care, following what I had to say and giving me the space to say it.

When facilitating sessions with my team on listening, we ask the question Nancy Kline poses in her book ‘Time to Think’: "How do you know what you’re about to say is more important than what they’re about to think?"

Whether you’re a coach or not, I challenge you to lean into the silence when you think (or feel) you have the right question or piece of advice, wait a few moments longer, and see what this does for the person in front of you.?