Are You Embracing the Power of Silence?
Ray Williams
9-Time Author / Retired Executive Coach / Helping Others Live Better Lives
When did you last sit silently for more than just a few minutes? What did you notice? Were you uncomfortable? Did you unconsciously reach for your smartphone or hearing device to listen to music or a podcast? Did you crave a conversation with someone? If you participated in a meeting with a lull of silence in the conversation, did you have the impulse to fill the void by saying something? Did others? Do you feel silence during a conversation feels awkward?
?You are not alone if you answered yes to most of those questions. It’s common in Western countries, particularly in the U.S.
?The world is noisy, and silence is rare, particularly in large cities, where most people are increasingly living.
?In our increasingly noisy world, silence has become a rare commodity and a vital skill that can be cultivated and harnessed for personal growth, better relationships, and improved mental well-being. Research suggests intentional silence offers numerous benefits, from enhanced cognitive function to deeper interpersonal connections. Professionals who master silence can gain a powerful tool that elevates personal performance and workplace dynamics.
?Defining Silence
?Silence has been defined as “the condition or quality of being or keeping still and silent,” “stillness,” and “an absence of speech or noise.”
?From a spiritual perspective, silence is often a metaphor for inner stillness. A silent mind, free from the avalanche of thoughts and activities, is both a goal and an important step in spiritual development. Many religious traditions imply the importance of being quiet and still in mind and spirit for transformative and integral spiritual growth.
?A World of Noise
?We are continually filling our brains with music, TV and radio news, podcasts and, of course, the multitude of sounds we create nonstop. A World Health Organization report called noise pollution a?“modern plague,” ?concluding that “there is overwhelming evidence that exposure to environmental noise has adverse effects on the health of the population.”
?Here are some research studies that emphasize the adverse effects of noise:
?The Benefits of Silence
?Often overlooked in our noisy world, silence holds profound psychological and emotional benefits that can significantly enhance mental health and overall well-being. Here are some of the benefits of silence:
Cultural Norms
?What one culture considers a perplexing or awkward pause, others see as a valuable moment of reflection and a sign of respect for the last speaker’s words.?Research ?conducted at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands in Dutch and also in English found that people started to feel unsettled when silence in conversation stretched to four seconds.
?Anglophone societies tend to be uncomfortable with silence, but communication and understanding don’t have to be verbal pauses can hold much meaning. In contrast, a study by Haru Yamada published?in Global Advances in Business and Communications Conference & Journal, ? business meetings found that Japanese people were happy with silences of 8.2 seconds — nearly twice as long as in Americans’ meetings.
?These cultural differences are reflected in the saying in the U.S. that ‘the squeaky wheel gets the grease,’ while in Japan, ‘a silent man is the best one to listen to’ is reckoned. In Japan, the power of silence is recognized in the concept of?haragei (belly talk), which suggests that the best communication is when you don’t speak at all. “As soon as you need words, there’s already a failure to understand each other, so you’re repairing that failure by using words,” says Dr Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University.
?The Finns — who prize privacy, reserve and the art of listening — are also happy to sit in studied thoughtfulness, says Donal Carbaugh, a professor of communication at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. “No-one is saying anything but everybody’s thinking. They are engaged. The frame around silence at that point can be very positive.”
?Silence in the Workplace
?One of the things I have noticed in hundreds of meetings and conversations over the past 40 years of work is how every moment is filled with conversation with virtually no space for reflective silence. You’ll notice this too with TV news hosts and guests, where all the air is taken up with continuous talk, without pausing between sentences.
?Yet research has shown that moments or minutes of silence can have a beneficial impact on productivity, personal effectiveness, and relationships.
?New research ?at MIT Sloan suggests that pausing in silence during negotiations can improve outcomes — not only for the person who initiates the silence but for both parties.
?“When put on the spot to respond to a tricky question or comment, negotiators often feel as though they must reply immediately so as not to appear weak or disrupt the flow of the negotiation,” said Jared R. Curhan, who collaborated with Jennifer R. Overbeck of Melbourne Business School, Yeri Cho of the University of La Verne, Teng Zhang of Penn State Harrisburg, and Yu Yang of ShanghaiTech University.
?“Our research suggests that pausing silently can be a simple yet very effective tool to help negotiators shift from fixed-pie thinking to a more reflective state of mind,” said Curhan. “This, in turn, leads to the recognition of golden opportunities to expand the proverbial pie and create value for both sides.”
?The paper, “Silence is golden: Extended silence, deliberative mindset, and value creation in negotiation ,” is published in the?Journal of Applied Psychology. The research consists of four studies. In the first study, the research team explored the effect of silence as it occurs naturally in a negotiation.
?Curhan explained that these findings are significant not only for what they showed — that silence improves outcomes — but also for what they didn’t show. “We expected that initiating silence would have a negative effect on the counterpart’s subjective value. That is, if I lapsed into silence, my counterpart probably wouldn’t feel good about the relationship with me, or about the negotiation process; it can make the experience weird or unpleasant,” he said. “We didn’t find any of that.”
?Related to this, Curhan noted the study did not investigate the words that people used before silence, or the body language that accompanied it — in essence, the different variables that might give meaning to the silence. “You could speculate that saying, ‘Hey, can you give me a second to think through what you just said,’ and then going silent for 15 seconds would probably be less aversive than if you just went silent after being asked a question,” Curhan said. “These are details that we didn’t look at: What words and gestures do people use before they initiate a silence or during the silence that either facilitate or destroy its effects?”
?Ways to Incorporate Silence into Your Work
?In meetings, resist the temptation always to say something in the conversation and listen in silence instead. Research by Stephen Levenson, published in?Cognitive Sciences, ?shows that we typically leave just a fraction of a second between taking turns to talk. According to the research, Western English-speaking people tend to be most uncomfortable with long gaps in a discussion. Yet, research shows that maintaining silence is a powerful conversational and negotiating strategy.
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?Gavin Presman ?director of UK-based training and development provider?Inspire,?says “In “Chinese negotiators are very, very aware that Americans like to fill silences and they are trained to stay silent and impassive because that will make the Americans uncomfortable and possibly make concessions without the Chinese having to do anything.”
?Other research shows that pausing with silence can have a powerful effect on presentations and speeches . A classic example was when Apple co-founder Steve Jobs launched the first iPhone. “He introduced pauses so that you didn’t miss his key points. Because silence makes us nervous, our instinctive reaction is that we’d better pay attention, there’s something going on here,” says Matthew MacLachlan, of UK-based?Learnlight, a language and soft skills training provider.
?In my book?I Know Myself and Neither Do You, ?I describe how solitude, quiet, and silence are powerful forces in developing leaders’ self-awareness. I argue: “While some would argue that it’s possible to become more self-aware during our daily activities, or in the company of others, I would say that solitude and stillness are necessary to achieve desirable self-awareness fully. Many people have lost their capacity and desire to experience solitude and silence; therefore, their self-awareness is being damaged.
?Artists, musicians, leaders, and everyday people throughout history have embraced solitude, stillness, and quiet as both ways of replenishing their souls and feeding their creative inspiration.
?Solitude and still go hand in glove. If you’ve ever quietly and easily solved a problem that you’ve been wrestling with for weeks or months in seconds or minutes, then suddenly feel quiet within, that’s stillness. Or if you’ve walked alone in the park among the trees or along the beach and feel a quiet calmness come over you, that’s stillness.
?Leaders need those moments of stillness, only achieved by quiet solitude, to develop a clear sense of what action or decision to make next, particularly in a crisis. Their capacity for self-awareness expands.
?Some organizations are beginning to recognize that the pressure for constant relationships behaviors in the form of meetings, electronic communication, and open offices may actually be a cause for productivity and employee well-being problems and have moved away from these practices to product employee work time, and provide places where employees can be in solitude and quiet.”
?Silence can be a powerful tool in communication, allowing for better listening and understanding of others.?It can build trust and strengthen relationships by indicating respect and interest in what others have to say . In leadership,?the strategic use of silence can prevent hasty decisions and allow for more thoughtful responses .
Here are some ways to incorporate silence into your work:
?Silence in Your Personal Life
?In 2011, the Finnish Tourist Board ran a campaign that used silence as a marketing ‘product’. They sought to entice people to visit Finland and experience the beauty of this silent land. They released a series of photographs of single figures in nature and used the slogan?.”? Simon Anholt, an international country branding consultant, added the tagline, “No talking, but action.”
Here are some ways to incorporate silence into your personal life:
?Conclusion
?The ability to remain silent internally and externally is a skill with profound benefits. It enhances professional interactions, fosters emotional intelligence, and improves decision-making. When used intentionally, silence is more than a pause—it’s a powerful tool that empowers professionals to communicate effectively, lead with empathy, and think with clarity. As we embrace the power of silence, we transform ourselves and create a work environment that values understanding, reflection, and mindful engagement.
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