The Power of Self-Validation
In the context of our little talk, validation refers to the sense of value, significance…you name it, that we get from within or without. When this sense of validation comes from within, then you are said to be self-validated. When it comes from without, then it is external validation.
The thing is we all experience both types of validation at one time or the other time. Sometimes we experience both types all the time. Its no big deal…Or is it? The thing is having healthy doses of both types of validation is great for your mind, body and soul. So therein lies the problem. What's the definition of a healthy dose? Whose standards are we to base that on?
Please pardon my manners. That's a whole lot of questions to be asking someone I just met. Bear with me—Im not always like this. What I am is a dude who is about to share some thoughts of his. From the title of this piece, you probably know where I am headed. Obviously.
However, the fun is in the process of the journey, not the destination itself. So let's take this one step at the time. Let's start with what external validation means.
When you are externally validated, you get your feel-good vibes from the outside world. That means you get your sense of value from compliments, social media likes, possessions, relationships, money and whatnot. To feel at the top of your game, you need something outside of you to feel good. This way, everything positive comes from outside of you. All that you need to function. All that you need to BE who you were destined to be comes from outside.
To put this in perspective, imagine if you needed an external pump to do the work that your heart does. Yeah, in some cases, it might seem like the best option.
But you know what?
Even the best machines have faults. What happens if there is a power outage? What if you forget to push the right buttons and the machine just won’t work? What happens? Here’s what happens…
A lot of pain, and even death is what happens when a machine meant to pump blood stops working. You have no control over it because it is literally out of your hands.
Let’s imagine a different scenario this time around. Imagine if you had a functional, healthy heart in its prime pumping away like it was meant to. No need for external help. No dependence on whoever controls the machine. Hell, you don’t even NEED the machine in the first place. Your life is in your hands for as long as your heart is WITHIN your body. Guess what?
Self-validation is that healthy heart thumping in your chest. Self-validation is the spring from which all the empowering and enabling energy that wells from deep within. Self-validation is the fire within that keeps you warm and fuzzy despite the numbing, ice-cold disappointment and despair that is part of life.
To be externally validated is to be held hostage to the opinions and intentions of others. I dare say that that is the worst place to be. Why? Because you can never be the real you if your sense of value is based on what others say, think or feel about you.NEVER!!!
On the flip side,self-validation is an essential ingredient of "Being" which is at least fifty shades of different from living(more on that later). When you are self-validated, you enter the realm of the divine. How? Your God-given talents(trust me there are loads of them)begin to manifest. True manifestation is the essence that we must all pursue.
The true manifestation of being is the power of self-validation.
#Eejae’s Thoughts