The Power of Saying "no"

Something that happened very recently moved me to write this post, though I was a bystander in said scenario it made me realize a simple “no” holds a great power yet is taken for granted. I was there when someone very close to me was put on the spot, where she couldn’t get a “no” out of her system, had to say yes to avoid the unpleasantness of the situation, but the consequences of that “yes” haunted her for the days that followed if not for weeks. I watched how she manifested in to a raging, restless and depressed person, trying to cope with the repercussions of her very reluctant “yes” originally.

Saying an outright no seems very easy when you think about it, but how many of us have faced instances where we succumb to pressures and end up saying yes to things that we end up resenting and regretting later. In an era where everything is fast paced, crawling with hidden agendas and instantaneous responses, saying “yes” is conditioned to our brains without fully understanding the real consequences of our yesses.

Scarier it gets for us to say a “no”, harder it gets for us to manage the consequences of the former, both in our personal and professional lives.

It has to be understood that our yesses are in a way is a commodity at our disposal and the small stack of no’s we have really enhances the value of our yesses. Although, a big fat no right in someone’s face or an outright no in a message or a mail can feel very rude and unjust given that we are so used to yesses, but rest assured all those reluctant yesses don’t do us any good either.

Having been in and having seen people squeezing out a yes, where a no should have been ideal. What I figured was to slowly follow certain time tested principles when it comes to saying no gives more power to my yesses. 

1.     Getting over the short term discomfort that we feel when a no is around the corner. Since, it is better to feel awkward now over regrets and resentments later on, as we tend to hate our yesses and ourselves over not managing our yesses properly.

2.     Getting rid of that built in shame we have in our mind over saying no and that nagging urge to come up with excuses to justify a “no”, where we should really trust our conscience, instincts and the judgment and should make a right choice.

3.     Saying no is making a stand for yourself, hence, a proper “no” boosts confidence and morale since it offers the person a chance to take control of a situation without given in to their fears.

4.     Saying “no” to things that waste your time and energy will ultimately result in free time and unutilized energy that can easily be channeled in to pursuing passions of one’s life. Furthermore, a clean slate offers the chance for a person to improve cognitive abilities and creativity with some more “me time”.

5.     Imposing a “no” on ourselves is perhaps the toughest out of all, since we are battling it out with ourselves and giving in is the easiest option. Hitting snooze button in the alarm, that one bullfrog for the road, another day at the pizza joint over a gym session