The Power of Relationships: How Your Network Impacts Your Net Worth and Confidence

Close Relationships and Their Impact

Close relationships play a significant role in both personal and business affairs. When I speak about net worth it's not necessarily just monetary wealth. I’m also referring to the social and freedom of time that comes with having a group of trustworthy individuals at your side. Whether it is business or personal, having the right crew around you makes all the difference. I see this day in and day out working in mental health or traditional business. People in recovery constantly refer to people, places, and things as the main drivers of their continued use and relapse. At the end of the day, these are all things that influence the decision-making process to use or not use. As I explore more and more into the world of behavioral health I find it's the people part that is the driving factor. If you’re stuck in a house with a bunch of bad actors, you have the choice to leave. If things like money, jobs, or material possessions matter that much to you, then you have to reevaluate your priorities. At the end of the day, the company you keep is what makes the difference.?????

The connections you make in your personal and business life are very different, but there can be some similarities drawn because it is such a significant connection. We spend an abundance of time working with many different personalities, and we don’t always get to choose who they are. However, we do get a choice whether to engage on a deeper level or not. It’s the same thing in friendships or acquaintances. We have a choice.?

There was a video hovering around the interweb recently that talked about people referred to as Day 1’s and Day 2’s. I’ve been wanting to talk about this forever because it’s a very true observation. Day 1’s are the people you grew up with and can’t get rid of ever. You went to school with them. You’ve known them since you were a kid and you’ve grown into adults. The Day 2’s are the people you get to choose to engage on your own time. You find them fascinating and make the conscious choice to befriend them. I have both of these categories. It’s in my nature as a Type A dumbass to have a large network. When it comes to friends from early in life there’s no way I would ever jeopardize those relationships. They’ve been there for me since the dawn of time, and I won’t ruin that friendship. Trust me I have tried many times. On the other hand, the Day 2’s I get to choose. It took me a long time to learn what that means though.?

Enough setting the table. The impact these different categories of relationships can have is significant. My old friends are supportive and will smack me around when I need it. That’s why they exist. The second category’s impact is much different and can be much more significant.?

These are people like business colleagues, single-serving friends, significant others, etc. These are all people you get to choose to interact with daily or not. This is where we can fall into the abyss and choose the wrong crowd or we can build a healthy network. In my case, I did both. I have plenty of folks in my life who are only around because they serve a specific purpose. Many of my business colleagues fit into this description. We’ve got one thing in common, and we’re not going frolicking on a beach in Tahiti together. Not that I do that on the weekends. Or do I?

What I failed to realize is that the people in this second category are there by choice. As a career salesperson, I was always trained that anyone and everyone could create an opportunity for you. That's why I had all of these selfish, self-serving friends and colleagues around. They provided no benefit to me personally. They were only around because they were business contacts or we were forced to spend time together somehow because I was their relationship manager. These days that is not the case. My work is multi-faceted now, and I get to pick and choose the players. That’s what I am talking about when I speak about net worth. I have a wealth of freedom and time. My social circle is what I want it to be and not a requirement of the job.?

Sure we all have people to answer to like clients, bosses, or significant others. At least someone can have a say in how that looks. That’s why creating a supportive network is so essential in today’s world.??????

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity and Support

I see lots of social media gurus and life coaches speak of surrounding yourself with a small supportive network. I also find it funny that they're spreading this message to millions of people who follow them. Ultimately to grow their network. Seems ironic, doesn’t it? It’s not that they’re wrong in any way. A person does need a tight-knit group to rely on. Whether that’s family, friends, or rented clowns. Support in life and business is essential either way.

That’s where my realization came in. I used to be the sales guy who was always connected and had two cell phones, two tablets, and two laptops. That was life. Always turned on and never asleep in case a deal could be done. I still have those things today, but now I don’t answer it for anyone or everyone. I’ve made the choice to limit my intake. Sensory overload is a real thing. At least that’s what my therapist says.?

All of this leads to distracting you from what is important and happens constantly today. We have 24/7 news channels, social media, real-life friends, and constant connection to work by technology. When do we ever get to have some fun with our friends and close ones? Never. I always thought being connected was the greatest thing in the world, but now I pine for the days when it took 45 minutes to write a text message. Those were the days. It’s like we evolved backward somehow.?

When I revisit the option of having a large base of acquaintances or a small group of trusted colleagues and friends. I will choose the latter every time. By limiting my group, I have been able to create a network of positivity and fun-loving weirdos. Whether they are business contacts or not it's a wonderful feeling to know the people in your life are there because they want to be not because they are a forced interaction. I always thought having a large network was essential to success in business and life, but that is simply not true. Having a really good supportive client list creates way more opportunities than spreading things to the masses. This is true personally as well. My group of friends and acquaintances has dwindled for many different reasons, but I am okay with it. I’d rather have the proper Day 2’s in my life that is there for the right reasons rather than shallow self-serving intentions.???????????

Benefits of Having a Smaller Circle

Maybe it's not for everyone, and I certainly used to not think so. Having a large group of friends just means you have more people to connect and answer to. It can be burdensome at some point when you’re constantly having to react to people’s lives beyond your own. I think the smaller group of friends is self-explanatory. A smaller group equals more time for yourself and your growth. That’s it, and that’s the benefit. It allows you to focus on what truly matters which is family, friends, and fulfillment.?

When it comes to business many people think more is better. I will argue the contrary. I have had lots of clients before, and let me tell you trying to manage 400-500 relationships is a giant pain in the arse. What if it comes to business you could slim that down and strive for a few key client relationships that are profitable and well-serviced? Now some businesses cannot achieve this based on the nature of their product, but any service business can. I work in service-based businesses and I believe this is a real idea. We always used to talk about the 80/20 rule. 80% of your business comes from your top 20% of clients. So why is it that we strive to grow that list when nurturing your top 20% could profit you even more? Also, why is it that we want more and more? What if as a business owner, territory sales manager, or some type of relationship-based service we can create long-term buyers that provide us with the same profile of the client? I think over the years we have created this idea that we need to create new verticals and spread to the masses when that is simply not true. Sure we could put ourselves at risk focusing on one particular type or industry, but we could also become very highly specialized in that area. There are two sides to every coin. I truly believe shrinking your network down to one or two specific areas could benefit any business. Essentially you become the go-to expert in that space. In turn, we get to charge higher prices for that service and become subject matter experts with an industry-leading program. I don’t see the downside. Look at consultants these days. Many of them have an industry specialty on purpose. They become experts in their chosen space and are sought after for their knowledge. In my experience, I would rather pay someone for their vast knowledge on a subject rather than someone who’s trying to be all things to all people.?

That reminds me of my first sales school ever attended back at Prudential Financial in the Stone Age of 2004. The first video training had a guy hanging out around a Rolls Royce explaining why you can’t be all things to all people. That was the sticky line for some reason. He was right though. Pick a lane and stay in it. Choose the clients that have similar interests and become that subject matter expert. An example would be something like I cannot tell you one thing about how to run a plumbing or HVAC business nor would I try. I can sure as shit tell you how most local governments work. How the fire and police pensions are structured and what benefits are shitty or good. I can negotiate a union contract but don’t ask me to fix a leaky sink. Know your limitations and strengths.?

It’s the same with choosing your network of people that you want to be in business with on the journey. Stay in your lane. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Be genuine. I think that’s where having a smaller Rolodex at the end of the day benefits you. When you have something that you are truly passionate about and the people you work with share that sentiment. It's a win-win situation.

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Building a Strong Community Network

That brings it home to how you can begin to build the network of folks you want to be around. It comes down to building trust and being a genuine person. When we get active in our communities and start to find people with shared interests that’s when we can experience real growth. You’ll always have your Day 1 friends and colleagues, but finding support outside of there is something I see as a requirement. You don’t have to be the most extroverted person in the room to build a quality group of friends. The most outgoing people sometimes tend to be boring as hell. The most interesting people I’ve met in life are the ones who are reserved and have more introverted personality traits. They find more meaning in their life through their interests and have unique opinions or views on all kinds of subjects. I am probably the boring one to them, because I talk about sports, being a gym bro, and finance nerd stuff. Luckily I have a softer side that most don’t know about where I read, write, and enjoy the arts. There’s more than meets the eye. (That’s a Transformers reference not The Tale of Genji). I enjoy seeking out the weird in people. Mainly because I am weird and I like it.?

With that said I will encourage you to do the same thing. Find your weirdos in life and have a little fun whether that’s at work or play. Form some friendships that have meaning rather than superficiality. If you can find that in life you are winning just like Charlie Sheen said that one time. In the end, it will help build your net worth and your confidence. That is what these relationships are supposed to do. Help you get through challenges and celebrate the wins.??

Enjoy!?

Ryan Stengle

Mad Sherpa Marketing

ACM Ventures