The Power of Relational Energy: Why Leaders Must Prioritize Internal Work

Leadership isn't just about driving results; it's about how leaders show up in their teams' lives, day after day. The energy a leader brings into the room sets the tone for team dynamics and performance. For many, it can be the difference between feeling empowered or stifled. This concept of relational energy—the emotional atmosphere created by leaders—can either inspire growth or inhibit innovation and collaboration.

The Dangers of Inconsistent Leadership

Imagine working for a leader who swings between extremes—angry and cold one moment, only to follow it with a guilt-fueled attempt to make amends the next. For the team, this rollercoaster ride creates a culture of uncertainty and psychological distress, ultimately damaging psychological safety. Psychological safety, as defined by Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson, is the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, or mistakes. In an environment where psychological safety is lacking, employees live in fear—fear of being on the receiving end of their leader's emotional volatility.

An abusive or inconsistent leadership style not only suppresses creativity but also leaves employees operating in survival mode. A leader's outbursts or erratic behavior causes team members to withdraw, avoid risks, and suppress their true potential. This creates a workplace where stress levels rise, burnout becomes prevalent, and talent retention becomes a struggle.

The Impact of Hot and Cold Leadership

Take the example of a CEO who regularly exhibits hot-and-cold behaviors. On a Monday, the CEO might berate a team member for a minor oversight. By Tuesday, they’re bringing in coffee for the entire team, hoping to smooth things over. While these gestures may seem well-intentioned, they confuse the emotional equilibrium of the workplace.

The problem is that the team learns to anticipate not the leader’s behavior but their mood swings. Rather than focusing on creative solutions or long-term strategy, employees spend energy managing the emotional landscape. This saps productivity, reduces engagement, and undermines the team’s ability to collaborate freely.

Why Leaders Must Do the Inner Work

To avoid creating this damaging cycle, it’s crucial for leaders to invest in their inner work. This means understanding themselves—knowing their triggers, recognizing their strengths, and identifying where their emotional reactions are coming from. By doing so, leaders not only gain control over their behavior but also learn how to regulate the energy they project to others.

Self-awareness is at the core of this transformation. Leaders who take the time to explore their emotional patterns, through practices like mindfulness, therapy, or coaching, are better equipped to lead with consistency and authenticity. The best leaders know how to manage their emotional states so that their teams feel safe, not fearful.

A Practical Path to Relational Leadership

Relational leadership requires a deep commitment to personal growth. Here are three strategies to help leaders harness relational energy effectively:

1. Understand Your Triggers Leaders need to be aware of the emotional triggers that cause reactive behavior. Is it stress, unmet expectations, or something deeper from past experiences? Being able to pause and respond thoughtfully, rather than reactively, cultivates an environment of calm and control.
2. Master Emotional Regulation Leaders must learn to modulate their emotional responses. This involves techniques such as deep breathing, journaling, or even taking a momentary pause during heated situations. Building this skill ensures that leaders don’t offload their emotional turbulence onto their teams.
3. Cultivate Empathy and Openness Leaders who cultivate empathy foster environments of trust. Take the time to connect with your team on a personal level. When employees feel heard and seen by their leader, they’re more likely to bring their whole selves to work, boosting creativity and engagement.

A Call to Action for Leaders

Leaders, the energy you bring into the room matters more than you might realize. The more aligned you are with your own inner workings, the better equipped you'll be to lead with clarity and consistency. Your internal work not only impacts your own well-being but shapes the entire organizational culture. As leaders, your primary job is to create a space where people feel psychologically safe, motivated, and inspired to do their best work.

When you prioritize knowing yourself, your team will feel the ripple effect of your growth. Teams thrive when they know what to expect from their leader, when they feel empowered to take risks, and when they feel supported to contribute their best. So, take the time to look inward, understand your relational energy, and commit to leading with consistency and compassion. The future of your team—and perhaps your organization—depends on it.

References:

• Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350-383. Amy Edmondson
• Goleman, D. (1998). What makes a leader? Harvard Business Review, 76(6), 93-102.
• Pfeffer, J. (2010). Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don’t. Harvard Business Review Press. Jeffrey Pfeffer