The Power of Rejection

Look at that, you made it ;)

I can’t wait to dive into today’s topic. This issue is concise, but brings more value than I can put into words.

Before I begin I want to preface by acknowledging that yes, to grow you must be uncomfortable. The things I am going to be suggesting today will make you uncomfortable. That is precisely the point. As a wise man once said, “transformation isn’t supposed to feel good.”

I’m gonna get right to the point. You need to start searching for rejection.

Please listen carefully!! This is possibly the most helpful mindset change I have undergone in the last few months.

Do you know what I mean when I say exposure therapy? If not, it’s basically the practice of intentionally putting oneself in those exact situations that one is afraid of.

I’ll give you guys an example: Jim has a fear of public speaking. To rid himself of this worry, he actively seeks out opportunities to pursue public speaking - in hopes of becoming so familiar with it that it no longer holds any power over him.

I have tried similar strategies in the past. Like “Jim” I was also afraid of public speaking. I was tired of it. No amount of heart rate medication or therapy was helping. I was sick and tired of being afraid. So, I founded Model UN at my high school. I took a massive leap forward that I was scared shitless to take. I still get scared to speak - but not as much.

This is my earliest example of exposure therapy.

Well Daniel, we already know what exposure therapy is. Is that all you’re here to talk about?

NO.

I am here to talk about what is called rejection therapy. This term was coined by an entrepreneur named Jia Jiang in his book, 100 Days of Rejection.

Jia Jiang was terrified of rejection. He was terrified of hearing the word NO. He needed to make sales calls, but he couldn't stomach the possibility of NO.

So, he took a simple, very unorthodox, and yet genius approach to remedy his fear of rejection; he leaned into it. He embraced rejection. For 100 days, Jia walked around, knocked on random doors, and asked the most wacky questions. For example, “hey Miss, could you please record me playing soccer in your backyard?” What the f*ck? Of course they said no.

That was the whole point.

Jia Jiang did that hundreds of times, for a hundred days straight. Constantly upping the ante, he became the best at rejection. We don’t give a prize for that currently, but I am here to tell you why we should. We really should.

After all that embarrassment, do you think Jia was still afraid of picking up the phone and dialing his prospects? NO. Of course not. He was a veteran now.

Now, how did I come across this? Well, even sometime after starting my agency, I found myself doing anything and everything I could to dodge dialing numbers. I was afraid of rejection. I was embarrassed - imagine that. So many miles away from my prospects, connected only by a piece of glass in my hand, and yet I was so scared. I had covered many successful calls before. I had experience with this.

And yet, I was still scared of NO. I wanted to do the work, but I was afraid.

That is when, in Jeb Blount’s Objections, I happened to run into the story of Jia Jiang.

I started small. I first went outside and asked strangers if they would record me singing the ABC’s. It was so f*cking awful, but I survived. I spent the whole week doing this dumb shit. I kept increasing the stupidity of my asks to avoid possible yesses. Next, I went into gas stations requesting the biggest bottle of liquor they had. Then, when prompted for my ID, I reached into my wallet and handed the clerk a ten dollar Starbucks gift card. I got kicked out obviously, but it was worth it.

I make sure to incorporate at least one of these obscure attempts into every day; just so I never fall out of favor with rejection.

I usually don’t have an ask for this newsletter, but I do today. Go out and try this. Search for rejection. Well, everyone should! 95% of you reading this right now will say: hey Daniel, ?f*ck off - I am NOT doing that.

Look, I get it. It is definitely a bold approach to self-improvement. Here’s the deal though: sometimes the bolder the better, and when it comes to rejection, I have tried everything under the sun. Nothing worked, rejection therapy did. For the 5% that do give this thing a shot, I can guarantee you will be rewarded.

See, the beauty of searching for rejection, is that it hinders us in all avenues of life. You may be reading this right now and have absolutely no interest in business whatsoever. You still want friends though, right? You would still like to meet a romantic partner perhaps? Great. What is holding you back from asking to be friends with somebody, or asking to join a group? What do you think is holding you back from telling that girl she looks beautiful, from asking her on a date?

Hint hint! I know…. It’s?REJECTION

So, how do we beat rejection then?

Well, I think the only way to beat rejection, is to become very well acquainted with it.

Become friends with rejection.

The only way to overcome the fear of rejection is to change your mindset.

Rejection isn’t the enemy, it’s the key to your success.

If nothing else, remember this rather brash quote from yours truly:

Your dreams are on the other side of a f*ck ton of NO’s.