The Power of Reflection – Learning from Our Past

As the decade comes to an end and our focus moves towards the New Year, I always take this time to reflect on my past. Many people will preach to live in the present and prepare for the future; while I believe this to be wise in many ways, there is still knowledge you can learn from reflecting on your past. 

Though it can be easier at times to concentrate on where you have failed, creating negative memories, there are many positives in doing a reflection exercise. While you shouldn’t dwell to heavily on your past, which can cripple your present and future, you should reflect on your journey and how far you’ve come, through both the ups and downs. Personally, I believe people should move on from the past but not before they learn from it.

Your experiences can be your best teacher. You learn from doing, from failing, then from trying again. 2019 doesn’t just represent the end of a year but an end of a decade; and before I move onto 2020, I want to share my reflection of this decade and what I have learned; in doing this, I hope that you too will choose to reflect on your past and continue to learn and grow from it.

When I began to reflect on this past decade, I remembered many life changing experiences that I hadn’t recollected in years. I began by looking through old photographs, read old career development plans and resumes; as I did this, the memories began to trigger emotions in me, where I could relive many of these experiences. 

• From attending both the winter and summer Olympics in Vancouver and London to attending game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals (all were bucket list items).
• From living in Mongolia for 16 months to becoming a Professional Engineer to moving to Calgary to further my career.
• From chasing the corporate executive route to hitting burnout to writing my book to building my own business.
• From visiting three continents to coming back home and finding the peace I’ve been searching for.
• From becoming an Aunt to becoming a Wife to becoming a Mother.

Through reflection, I learned I sweated the small stuff and allowed it to consume me. When you are consumed with unimportant matters, you can miss the important matters; this is why, I believe each of us should reflect, because some of us can miss our biggest lessons the first time around.

The Important Matters

I moved to Mongolia in August 2011. This was a life changing experience for me. I had travelled at this point in my life, but never to a country that had the challenges of Mongolia. There were potholes the size of bikes, tap water was brown, and I didn’t have a hot shower in over 6 weeks. Here, I learned the difference between a right and a privilege. Being born in Canada, I had privilege: clean water, hot water, infrastructure, access to health care, affordable education etc. The 16 months I lived abroad made me aware of the struggles other cultures must overcome. Being born into such privilege, I was truly given the tools to succeed; not everyone is so fortunate. This experience was the end of my complaining. The hands I held would build my future and since I was given the tools, I began to see them, and use them effectively; never wasting time complaining about what I didn’t have. If I wanted it, I would put a plan together to capture it.

Mongolia was my first career game changer (I wrote about this in: 10 Ways to Create a Career Game Changer). Through the network I met there, I was able to move to my Corporate Canadian Headquarters in Calgary. Calgary is a beautiful city full of kind people. I loved it there, but after five years, I knew it simply wasn’t going to be home. The journey to finding my home came through many downs, and at times, the cost of my health. I got a taste of corporate culture and the Executive track and I liked it. I liked it so much, that for nearly three years, I worked 60 to 80 hours a week and nearly every weekend; not taking a vacation in three years. I ignored every single sign my body was telling me to rest. I worked through colds, worked through the flu, even bragged at one point that I put a proposal together when I had a fever of 102F. I ignored my health, I stopped exercising regularly and began to eat out daily. 

It all came crashing down Christmas of 2016 when I got strep throat. I got put on antibiotics and thought I’d be fine, so I still didn’t rest… I work through the strep throat, which caused me to relapse then it developed into scarlet fever. I started 2017 on antibiotic and went for three more rounds of them before February. I missed a month worth of work. I was sick, I hit burnout and I was done. I couldn’t even take care of myself, yet anyone else. I finally stopped, slept and rested. I reflected on the past three years and knew it wasn’t sustainable. This is when I started to reflect on my career and where I wanted to go. During this time, I realized even with all the success I had gained, I wasn’t even close to being fulfilled. I kept myself so busy that I hadn’t even realized I was trekking on the wrong path. My ambition had blinded me. These were dark days for me; I felt I wasted so much time, working so many long hours, and for what?

But not all was lost, as my sickness was a gift in disguise. It forced me to pay attention. And when I began to pay attention, my true feelings began to become clear, and this was the birth of Work Lessons 101. Through discovering the root of my unhappiness, I was able to discover what would make me happy and that was writing a book and helping others. This was the start of building my dream. I continued to work hard at my career but chose to put the extra 20 hours a week into my book and 11 months later, and nearly every weekend spent writing, I finished my first draft. It will be published in 2020.

This decade has had its tough moments, but nothing tougher than the four days I spent in emergency with my husband, waiting to hear his diagnostics. My husband in a period of a few days developed jaundice and lost all his energy and as his liver began to fail, we rushed to the hospital. This event, which still brings me to tears when I reflect upon it, was the event that scared me to my senses. The electric bolt that shocks you to your core and everything seems clear after it. During those four days at the hospital, we decided that we were going to move back home to Vancouver, where our families were. Being alone at the hospital was terrible and we knew it was time to go home. I’ve been back in Vancouver for 18 months now, and I’ve been at peace… this is my home… this is where I want to raise my son and be a family. Chasing a career and fulfilling your ambition will require sacrifice but ensure what you’re sacrificing, you’re willing to lose.

I wrote about my journey to becoming a Mom in The Power of Resilience. My son came into the world in May…. 2.5 years after we decided, we wanted to be parents… it was a journey full of setbacks… but it was all worth it… the moment the nurse handed me my little boy…. was the happiest moment of my life. Another event in my life that brings me to tears every time I think of it…. Happy tears or sad tears… tears reveal the truth in our feelings… embrace them, reflect upon them and learn from them.

The Power of Reflection

I have learned there is power through reflection, it can be:

• Your best teacher; often seeing what you first missed.
• Providing the time needed to absorb the lessons you must learn to move forward.
• Analyzing your past and seeing it from a fresh perspective can help you gain knowledge, growth and learning.

This decade has come full circle. From reflecting on my successes and failures, I realized I was lost for nearly this entire decade, but I learned, to be found, sometimes, you must first be lost. Searching for what you want can be a journey and my journey lead me to finding my dream and to build towards it. 

Sometimes to understand where you’re going, you need to reflect on where you’ve come from. You may not be ready to face the past, sometimes the pain is to fresh and you need to allow time to help you cope. I wasn’t ready to face the fact that I needed a career change till my body forced me to be ready and I embrace it. Each of us, has our own hiccups, our own handicaps; don’t allow this disadvantage, to get the best of you… work through them and succeed despite them. Don’t dwell on the past and don’t live in the past; don’t allow it to prevent you from moving forward. Reflect on it, learn from it and when it no longer serves you, move on from it.

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