The Power of Recognition

“Thank you for recognizing me.”

These words were spoken to my wife earlier this week in the parking garage of the Thurgood Marshall, Baltimore Washington International Airport. So, here’s the quick story.

My wife and I were in a hurry to get to the airport and catch a flight to Phoenix. We had quickly parked the car and made our way to the airport shuttle, pick-up location in the parking garage. Joining about 8 other travelers, we hurriedly picked up our bags and boarded the vehicle, looking for a seat on the shuttle bus.

All of us, accept for my wife, that is.

Instead of walking onto the bus, and right by the bus driver, she stopped and acknowledged him. She ‘saw’ him. Her words were simple and yet genuine, “Thank you for picking us up.”

In response, the driver lit up. With appreciation and a hint of pain, he replied, “Thank you for recognizing me.”

Wow, I shrunk about 10 sizes in my seat. How self-absorbed I had been.

It was not as if I did not appreciate our driver. I did. But in my haste, I abdicated my responsibility to acknowledge and show gratitude to my fellow human being. 

I was busy, yes. And my focus was on an important task, true. But I was wrong. I missed an opportunity to recognize and acknowledge my brother.

Based upon our shuttle driver’s response to my wife thanking him, I suspect a lot of other travelers walked right on by as well. Just like me.

As school leaders, how often do we fail to acknowledge individuals in our own school communities? Late for a meeting, do we walk right by a student in the hallway? Rushing to grab a document off the printer in the teacher workroom, do we avoid eye contact with a colleague standing in the doorway of his classroom? Or on the way to lunch, how often do we put our heads down to avoid engaging in a conversation? Are we just too busy doing ‘things’ to connect with people?

(Author’s note: I can pose these questions because I am guilty of each of them.)

The problem is we under-index the value of recognition. We undervalue the power of connection. We mistakenly discount the power of feeling acknowledged.

As school leaders, we must remember how much students, staff, and parents value our engagement. Engagement may be a formal presentation, observation, or meeting. More likely, however, engagement consists of an informal greeting in the hallway, small-talk while in line at lunch, or a quick check-in between classes to say, “Hello and thank you.”

With this in mind, the following 3 points of application may be helpful.

Make every trip count.

School leaders must approach every ‘trip’ outside of their office as a strategic opportunity for connection and recognition. Not in a manipulative sense, but instead out of an appreciation for the incredible opportunity each ‘trip’ presents — an opportunity to recognize staff members for what they do and the value they bring to the school. An opportunity to invest in students by providing a word of affirmation or encouragement.

Invest in relationships, one positive interaction at a time.

A simple “good afternoon” in the hallway might make someone’s day. At a minimum, it represents a deposit in a relational bank account. A 30–60 second conversation with a student between classes contributes to a genuine connection and builds authentic rapport. Too often, students only engage in meaningful conversation with school leaders when the subject matter is of a disciplinary nature.

Keep the focus on people.

School leaders can quickly become consumed with tasks and the pressures of the job. Still, engaging with people is a high-value activity. It is arguably the most important aspect of the job. School leaders must seek opportunities to engage with community members — to recognize them for who they are and what they do within the community.

In the end, people want to be ‘seen.’ They desire and deserve recognition. As a result, school leaders must accept the platform they lead from and the impact their behavior has on people. Even on the busiest of days, they should follow my wife’s lead. A simple “thank you” really will go a long way.