The Power of Rapport: An Essential Tool for Connection
Dr. Samantha Worthington
CEO & Founder of WORTH | Psychology for High-Performance Specialist | Consumer Behaviour Expert | Business Woman of the Year 2016 | International Fitness Competitor | Bestselling Author
When it comes to unlocking new levels of connection, winning over more clients, and building trust within your team, sometimes you need to go back to basics. Rapport is a word that everyone is familiar with but often, we forget how effective it really is.
Understanding the Critter Brain
Before we look at the purpose of rapport, let’s have a look at our brain. The human brain can be simplified into three key parts. The first two, the?reptilian and mammalian brains, can be collectively called the 'critter brain'. This part of the brain cares only about safety and survival. It prompts us to choose fight/flight/freeze behaviours that keep us from standing out, being put in danger, or feeling discomfort. The critter brain also controls basic functions such as our breathing – anything that we don’t really need to think about but that sustains us physically.
The third part of the brain - the prefrontal cortex - is focused on quality of life. It's found in front of the frontal lobe of the brain, and it affects our behaviour, personality, and executive function.
The reality is that most of what we do, think, and say is driven by the critter portion of our brain. When someone tries to shift our beliefs (such as during a sales presentation or marketing campaign), the survival patterns in our brain are triggered. This creates anxiety and it's a big reason why people fear change.
The Purpose of Rapport in Communication
Rapport plays a massive role in giving someone the sense that they’re safe and that they belong, making it an important tool when creating connections with others, and more importantly, when you need to shift someone’s beliefs and ideas. Here are a few reasons why it’s so important to build rapport with a potential client or team member:
领英推荐
Using Rapport in Meetings
Rapport is the foundation of a meaningful relationship between two people. When you’re good at building rapport, you’re practiced at establishing a connection between yourself and someone else. Good rapport can make the other person feel respected, heard, and seen. It’s a great way to understand another person’s needs and support them, and it can be a very effective tool during meetings.
Physical techniques - such as mirroring - are valuable tools to use in meetings to build a deeper connection. Furthermore, pay attention to other dimensions - if the person you’re meeting with is using certain keywords quite a lot or gestures very often, repeat these words or gestures back to them during the meeting to build rapport. If you’re in a meeting with multiple people, always mirror the decision maker.
Another great tool for building rapport is the NLP technique of backtracking. Do this by summarising, reviewing or contemplating what was previously covered during the meeting with the other person before closing the meeting. This ensures that you have received what they wanted to communicate with you, and makes the other person feel heard.
Remember to go into your meeting with the intention of connecting with someone on a deep level, and always reconnect with yourself afterwards. After focusing on another person so intently, you may want to take some time after your meeting to reconnect with yourself.
It's important to remember that rapport is far more powerful when it’s layered. This means that can use everything from keywords and sensory NLP techniques to vocal and physical techniques. The more rapport you can build, the deeper the connection.
For more information on building rapport and other techniques for unlocking new levels of connection, subscribe to my free newsletter One-Minute Wins.