The Power to Raise People Up

I am a big believer in learning how people operate, including understanding people’s wants, needs, and desires. Understanding others’ motives is an integral part of the process. And here is one thing I know for sure. Most, if not all, people want, need, and desire:

? To be heard

? To be seen

? To be empathized with

? To be recognized

? To be cared for

? To be respected

? To be treated as important

? To be liked

? To be loved

? To have structure, consistency, and certainty.

Here is what else I know: People want to be guided by someone who cares, someone dedicated to helping them to the next level and beyond. This is where you come in. I genuinely believe you were born and are here to help inspire others to live more empowered lives. The following will examine some important considerations to help you do this.

A “RAE” of Sunshine RAE stands for RECOGNIZE – ACKNOWLEDGE – ENCOURAGE.

Praise and recognition are two of the most powerful motivating forces in the world. The truth is that people will work harder for praise than a raise. Every one of us loves to be praised and recognized for our efforts. It is truly the heartbeat of human motivation. I stated above that people need to be liked. The number one human need is to be validated—that is, to be valued.

We not only want acceptance; we also get a hit of endorphins when we are. It makes us feel liked and cared for as individuals. If you don’t believe me, look at the number of people addicted to getting more “likes” on Facebook.

I have mentioned that leadership is the ability to influence others. If you want to lead and inspire others, go from seeking praise to heaping praise. Look for opportunities to heap praise on others for a job well done.

“It is amazing what can be accomplished if you do not care who gets the credit.” – Harry Truman.

The number one reason people leave companies is that they don’t feel appreciated. Think about that for just a moment. Every one of us has an imaginary sign hanging around our neck that says, “I need love. I need to be valued and appreciated. I need some occasional praise and recognition.”

“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common. They all wanted validation.” – Oprah Winfrey.

It is essential to our survival that we feel understood. We want to be understood, seen, heard, accepted, and approved. We want our leaders to listen and honestly care about our feelings. It goes back to our hard wiring. Our primitive psyche was predicated on “fitting in.” A member of the tribe needed to be accepted by the leader. Survival depended on it as far back as when our ancestors hunted and gathered for daily existence. If a member wasn’t approved, that person no longer felt protected and secure. That hard wiring is seen today in how a political leader can so easily influence the thoughts and behaviors of those in their base. The base is just another way of saying the tribe.

Understanding the need for acceptance, approval, and validation is essential as they are the stepping stones to influence. Again, if you don’t believe me, remember your teenage years. You will no doubt remember trying to fit in with the “in” crowd or perhaps the “anti-crowd,” depending on your personality. Either way, you naturally were inclined to associate with others like you. The keyword in the previous sentence is like. Those like you were more apt to like you. You were less likely to be rejected by those like you. Our need for acceptance, approval, and validation was and continues to be necessary. We needed the tribe to survive. We needed to “fit” in and be accepted.

When giving praise, there are certain dos to keep in mind. They are:

1. Be specific – avoid saying “good job” as it is not clear enough.

2. Be timely—praise when positive behavior occurs. Think of providing recognition as a tip. It is most appreciated right after the service.

3. Be unique—create awards for special attributes like being the most positive, timely, creative, caring, or spirited.

4. Be balanced – too much loses its power. Praise is like seasoning; enough enhances the flavor and taste, but too much is sickening. Also, remember to praise exceptional, not expected.

5. Praise publicly—Shine a spotlight on the behavior you want repeated. Once you highlight what you want, the person will want to do more of what earned them the praise they received.

6. Systemize praise – make it part of your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly operations.

EQ+ = Exceptional Emotional Intelligence EQ+ = Exceptional Emotional Intelligence

As a leader, you are first and foremost in the people business. As I stated in an earlier chapter, we like to think we are rational beings who occasionally show emotion. As you now know, we are, in fact, emotional beings who are sometimes rational. Emotional intelligence trumps capability. I am sure you have heard the old statement, “People don’t care how much you know as much as they care how much you care.”

ST JAMES, JOHN. The Master's Path: How to Intentionally Create More Happiness, Joy, and Fulfillment in Your Life (p. 155-159).