The power of positivity...

“Be positive”, “look on the bright side”, “everything happens for a reason”.??How often have you been given this advice? Or perhaps you have given this advice to someone yourself.?While we all know that having a positive outlook on life is good for our mental health, it turns out life isn’t all positive.?I can remember plenty of difficult times in my life where people offered me advice like “keep your chin up".?Not only did it not help, it often made the situation worse.?

Only recently have I learnt the official term for it: “Toxic Positivity”; taking positive thinking to an extreme level and in doing so denying people the support they need in difficult situations.?It’s understandable; we want to help when friends/family are in pain yet so often the receiver can be left to feel embarrassed, shut down and dismissed.?

Positivity like so many other leadership traits doesn’t come automatically when you jump into the leader role.?What we do know, is that our own positivity, outlook and mindset are critical in helping bring positivity to our teams and help them to feel good.?If we accept this premise, how then can we become a more positive leader??

When I was a child, I was surrounded by positive people; spritely and boisterous Italians, each one louder than the next.?Regularly we’d gather for family events; a chance to share a meal (dinner tables heaving with our favourite dishes), card games and wonderful memories remembering those that came before. When I close my eyes, I can immediately transport myself back and reflect on the joy and happiness my family shared.?

It wasn’t all Pollyanna. There were plenty of tough times, all of which made us grateful for the good ones. One character that always sits front and centre in my trips down memory lane is my Dad.?A larger-than-life soul who perfected the art of remaining optimistic in the face of any adversity.?Sure, he was imposing, often downright stubborn when it came to getting an outcome, yet he lived with a wonderful combination of optimism, hope and good humour.?Dad was full of quotes, (perhaps where I get my love for them), one he would roll out regularly:

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone”.

I used to think, "boy the world sounds harsh…do I really want to grow up"??The idea of living in my sheltered little world seemed just right!?What I now appreciate is the strength of these words.?They say to me, people like to be around those that are happy and not those who are sad or gloomy.?My Dad got this, he had enough to be miserable about in his life, yet he elected to see life with a more positive outlook.?He found within himself the capacity to be hopeful about the future, to be grateful for his present and to endure with a smile those times that tested him….

Today we have science to back up my lovely Dad’s theories.?Countless studies, many of them conducted by the granddaddy of positivity, Professor Martin Seligman.?Seligman suggests we need 5 things to flourish in our wellbeing, positivity, and optimism:

1.??The right balance of positive emotions

2.??The opportunity to be regularly engaged at work by playing to our strengths,

3.??The presence of good relationships

4.??The feeling our work has meaning and

5.??The ability to accomplish goals that matter to us.

All of these we can action in building our positivity.?What does your current inventory look like? Use this last week to tally your score - how often were you inspiring others and building hope for the future, how regularly were you cultivating relationships??Were you more positive than negative?

Every day we get the chance to practice, practice, practice.

Like all the leadership traits I am a perennial student; doing the work, learning from experiences and always on the lookout for new ideas to add to the toolkit.?Today I would call myself a positive leader, someone who thinks optimistically and lives with the adage, “there is a solution to every problem”.?It wasn’t always the case!! I’ve worked on channeling my younger frustrations and urgency to get outcomes into a more balanced and measured approach.?

Along the way I’ve honed the following beliefs:

• My attitude is contagious: when I am positive as a leader, it can lift the positivity of my team and their own productivity. This helps us become more collaborative, creative and paths the way to attract talent.
• ?My enthusiasm is motivational: when I can lead with positivity, our climate becomes more supportive and our people feel more appreciated, more confident and all of us are motivated to achieve more.
• My attitude directly affects my relationships:?The effervescent Benjamin Zander in his book “The Art of Possibility” reminds all of us, when you grade your relationship with someone an A not a C or D, you can transcend your relationship with that person.?Don’t be demanding or abrasive, be a positive magnet for your people and you will more easily attract positive people to you.
• My positivity builds my resilience: I’ve said it before “what doesn’t break us, makes us stronger”.?But it’s deeper than that, when we are resilient as leaders, it helps our people feel braver themselves.?
• My optimism helps my problem-solving and creativity: When faced with a challenge, don’t ruminate on it, roll your sleeves up and commit to solving the problem. All of which comes full circle - we enhance our resilience and in turn we find motivation for new challenges.

Every day you get to practice your positivity on those around you.?It starts as early as you wake with a check-in: “Today is going to be a great day”. One micro mantra that can have a significant impact on the outlook of your whole day.?

These are a few positivity quotes from three leaders who were eternally optimistic:

1. Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. John Wooden

Considered one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time, Wooden is often remembered for his Pyramid of Success; a set of behaviours he taught his teams by and shared with boardrooms around the world.?I stand in awe of a great leader who lived humbly and relied on the fundamentals of character as a method of teaching excellence in everything you do.?Long gone but never forgotten John Wooden.

2. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.?Albert Einstein

Being positive is a sure-fire recipe for curiosity, learning and discovery.?No-one exemplified this more than Einstein.?His radical approaches to never stop questioning helped advance our society.?He was often referred to as mischievous, phenomenally curious, and always driven to get to the bottom of things.?You can imagine how playful he must have been.?I wonder was his brain bigger due to his positivity??Now there’s a thought!

3. Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power. William James

I love the pragmatism of this quote.?Through its binary tone, it encourages us to see the simplicity of our choice.?Think negatively and you’ll see pessimism all around, think positively and your outlook becomes more optimistic.?And while many situations are never that simple, I value its nod to personal responsibility and one's own agency.?

Hopefully you're feeling more positive as you finish reading this week's share.?I know I am. Remember our thoughts become our feelings, our feelings become our actions, and our actions become our destiny.?

Let’s make those thoughts positive ones; it has the chance to change your destiny!