The Power of Playback: Enhancing Your Communication Skills Through Reflection

Cafes, once coined the "third place" after home and work, have become a go-to option for remote workers seeking an alternative space outside their homes or traditional offices. They offer a unique environment that combines the comfort of home with the amenities of a workspace, making them attractive for individuals looking for a change of scenery or a productive atmosphere. However, these vibrant spaces, acting as oases for creativity, present a unique challenge: finding the delicate balance between the cafe ambiance and the optimal sweet spot where productivity and creativity flourish.

The Challenge of Cafe Ambiance?

Yes, utilizing the cafe as one's workspace has its allure. However, even I can accept and agree that there are cons to this seemingly enviable departure from the traditional office setting. While the energy of a cafe's soothing background noise promotes concentrated flow, the constant shuffling in and out of patrons and the sound of chairs dragged across the floor upon asking, "Is this seat available?" can frustrate and break the chain of concentration. (Had I dared to carry a chair in my mother's home without lifting it off the floor, I would not have lived to share this article with you today. #growingupCaribbean)

Now imagine the once quiet hum of the cafe rising, imitating the ambiance of a lounge, requiring you to either cup one ear to discern the voice on the other end of the phone or lean in closer to converse with the person in front of you. There are better work scenarios than this, even at cafe standards.?

However, in this article, I will share a personal anecdote from a recent encounter at my favorite coffee establishment that serves as a catalyst for highlighting the importance of self-awareness and self-reflection when enhancing our speaking voice. Furthermore, I will share an exercise with steps you can readily apply to improve your speaking abilities.

Before I proceed, please allow me to provide some context.

Unintended Audiences and Surprising Compliments

In my daily routine, I depend on noise-canceling headphones with a personalized playlist to create an immersive environment that helps me stay focused. However, today was different; an unexpected phone call disrupted my laser-focused work session, requiring me to remove my headset. Usually, I schedule conference calls in quieter settings, so the current location wasn't ideal for engaging in such a discussion. However, as the call progressed, I unconsciously raised my voice to combat the surrounding noise. It dawned on me that I might have projected my voice louder than I would have preferred in a public setting as I gained the attention of an uninvited audience.

As my conversation drew to a close, my eyes met the gaze of two ladies seated directly in front of me. Instantly, I questioned why, of all the empty seats in the cafe, they decided to occupy the ones right in front of me. Admittedly, my mood was far from ideal at that moment. (My mother's teachings about not staring at strangers echoed in my mind.) Well, I must sheepishly admit I was the culprit this time. My loud voice managed to grab their attention, not the other way around. A slight wave of discomfort, guilt peppered with embarrassment, washed over me as I became aware of the situation.?

Attempting to speak more hushedly during the last seconds of the call, I averted my eyes, hoping to discourage further interaction. However, this was a situation I had encountered before. Being an English speaker in a primarily non-English-speaking country naturally attracted attention, causing people to cast curious glances in my direction.?

To my astonishment, one of the ladies discreetly passed me a note that read, "You have such a beautiful voice! I'm in awe." As I read the message, my head jerked back with utter shock, and I responded, "Um, Thank you!" The unforeseen compliment caught me off guard, and at the same time, I felt a sense of horror as I realized that the unintended listeners did, in fact, understand and speak English.

After our brief conversation about our origins, I excused myself and headed toward the ladies' room. Standing in front of the mirror, I washed my hands, my thoughts drifting to the carefully folded note tucked in my pocket. A chuckle escaped me as I pondered whether her compliment about my voice was a lighthearted jest or if there was a hint of truth behind it. Adjusting my outfit and examining my reflection from different angles, a mischievous smile curled on my lips as I playfully quipped at the mirror,

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, any chance of giving me feedback on my voice at all?"

I was curious to hear what she heard. I needed more than just her subjective opinion. I needed to hear what she heard. I have a general idea of what my voice sounds like. Well, at least I think I do. Or do I??

To the tapes!

Exploring the Unfamiliar

You see, we are all familiar with the sound of our voice - until we hear a recording of ourselves. Listening to a recording of one's voice can lead to moments of surprise and self-consciousness, evoking questions like, "Is that really me?" or "Do I really sound like that?" Often, this experience is accompanied by a tinge of embarrassment or discomfort. It's not uncommon to grimace or feel vulnerable when confronted with our recorded voice.

Your external voice is the version everyone else hears, but you are the only one who encounters it as something new. It's a phenomenon known as vocal confrontation, as described by Melissa Dahl in The Cut. It forces us to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that the image of ourselves we hold in our minds can differ significantly from how the world perceives us. It can be an enlightening experience, prompting deep reflection and potential self-discovery.

Enhance Your Communication Abilities through Reflection: A Step-by-Step Guide

Drawing from my memory, I recollected an exercise I had learned more than ten years ago, which imparted invaluable strategies for effective communication. The interaction with my audience that day led me to revisit my notes and their relevance a decade later. I am eager to share this valuable exercise with you.

Let's get started!

First, an Auditory Review: Listening to Yourself!

Select a topic you can speak about for a few minutes, and use your smartphone to record yourself speaking without any prior rehearsal or planning. Begin recording and speak for a few minutes. Just let it flow naturally. Then stop.?

Now, place your phone face down and focus solely on listening to the playback. (If you prefer, you can close your eyes during this process to deepen your focus.)

As you listen, take note of your initial impressions. Use one-word descriptions to describe how you sound. Consider factors such as your volume, pace, whether you come across as nervous or natural, if there are instances of breathiness between sentences, or if you tend to mumble at the end of some of your sentences. Do you laugh or giggle? Are you a passionate speaker, or do you exhibit emotional tendencies? Do you project a commanding vocal presence?

Take notes.

Next, An Ocular Review: Visual Assessment

Flip your phone over and begin again. This time, mute the volume. Conduct a visual assessment of yourself. How do you come across visually? Do you exude confidence? Pay attention to your stance and posture—whether sitting or standing—and consider if your physical movements are overly expressive.

(Is it strange to watch yourself in action, especially without sound?)

Examine your body language and facial expressions. For example, do you smile when you speak? (Are you smiling right now thinking about reviewing yourself as soon as you've finished reading this article - twice? Or does it make you nervous?).

Where do your eyes tend to look? Are they frequently directed upward, downward, or straight ahead? Do your facial expressions align with your body language and the message you're conveying? For example, what are you doing with your hands? Well, again, are you sitting or standing? It depends, doesn't it?

Everything is interconnected.?

Lastly, Word Usage Analysis?

Okay, one more vocal review - this time, listen for the words or phrases you repeat often. It could be filler words like "Umm" or "and whatnot," and a personal favorite, "and stuff like that." Become aware of the words or phrases that can rob you of your credibility. Again, review your notes.

Assessment?

What's the verdict? Did you experience a cringe reaction, or was it just a fleeting moment before you recognized your voice and accepted it as yours? Did you find your voice pleasing to listen to? Were you able to identify the one word or phrase you repeated one too many times??

Review the recording a couple more times, as your opinion might change. Remember that one-word description you repeatedly circled until the ink bled over the other side of the page? Does it require you to make some changes in your speech pattern???

Interestingly enough, from a study conducted in 2013, researchers at Albright College and Penn State Harrisburg concluded that you actually?do?like your voice, and you don't even know it.

Really!

Furthermore, the participants in this research "ranked their voices higher as being more attractive than the other voices they heard, and their ratings for the attractiveness of their own voices were on average higher than the ratings other people gave them." The findings of this study conclude that there is a chance that?you?are the only one that likes BOTH your internal and external voice.

However, the only way to know this is to record yourself, review, reflect, and improve. Build self-awareness. This exercise is crucial for professional and personal growth, but only if you are brave enough to allow perception to enter your reality.?

Conclusion

There are various aspects of our communication style to explore and areas where we can make adjustments if desired. Remember, this feedback is based on our own perception while also reflecting how others might perceive us.

Come on, grab your phone, and hit record. After all, you wouldn't step away from a mirror without checking your physical appearance, would you?

Let me know if you perform the exercise and your initial feelings upon examining yourself vocally.