The Power Of Persuasion

The ability to successfully persuade someone is a talent and despite what many people think, it isn’t an unattainable super power – you just need to know how to frame the conversation to your advantage. You don't need to be ingenious or cunning like some sort of Machiavelli, but you do need to make the most out of a situation and come to a solution both parties agree with.

People think that the principle of persuasion comes down to how well you can convince someone to do what you want. This isn’t true. Whenever I try to persuade someone, I put myself in their position and try to come up with a win-win situation – something mutually beneficial.

The reason a lot of people fail to harness the power of persuasion is because they concentrate too much on how to win instead of realising that every deal needs to benefit both parties. You need to understand exactly what the other person wants from this scenario and what their objectives are from the discussion, because if it only benefits you, your success will be short-lived.

This way you can walk out of the room knowing that you’ve achieved the best sort of win – a win which enables success for both of you. Persuasion isn’t about getting your own way, it’s about moulding the best deal for you both.

It’s often assumed that to persuade someone – perhaps a potential new client or employee – you need to sell sell sell. Over my 30 years in business, I’ve managed to develop my own style of persuasion which unlike most, doesn’t concentrate on finalising the sale but instead, focuses on asking questions.

It’s the skill of asking the right questions which means that 9 times out of 10, I’m successful. Most people focus on answers, I focus on questions. To ensure I am in the best possible position to fight my corner, I need to do my research and find out everything I need to know so that I'm ready to give the perfect pitch. This includes uncovering any prior concerns or specific issues that would give the other person cold feet.

Initially establishing boundaries and understanding the issues means I’ve already figured out the best way to deal with any questions I’ve asked. I’m able to give the most educated, tailored answer.

Let’s put this into context with some examples;

Whenever I’m about to do a deal, rather than continuing to sell the dream, I’ll ask my potential partner the most direct, open question: “What’s your gut feeling?”

There’s no way they can’t answer this! Straight away you get an open, honest answer which will reveal what it would take to seal the deal. It’s almost impossible to maintain a poker face in this situation. Even if they say “Actually James, I’m a little worried about how much this deal may affect the progress I’ve made already” at least I know the reason. This is exactly what I want to hear because now I’m aware they’re not ready and I need to change my tactics.

It’s the same premise as being in an interview and asking the interviewer if he or she has any reservations about hiring you. This has happened to me before and it was one of the toughest questions I’ve ever had to answer, despite it being so simple. How could I not give this person an answer? It’s the surest way of testing the water and confirming any inklings you may have.

Ultimately, the power of persuasion comes down to anticipating questions, not answers. Follow my advice and I can guarantee you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

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