The Power of Our Stories

"Black people aren't smart enough to do this job."

"Son, be careful… you may not come home tonight." 

"I am a very passionate person but I still have to manage myself so I am not perceived as the stereotypical angry black woman"

I didn't know whether to cry, be angry, or go over to my friends' houses to hug them. To be honest, I felt overwhelmed and compelled to do all three. These are the horrible things some of my friends have heard and endured. And even worse, they've had to warn their beautiful children about these experiences. I could see the pain in their eyes as they shared their stories—it was heartbreaking.

This week I had the extraordinary opportunity to moderate a panel with three amazing people I'm proud to call my friends: Ezinne Udezue, Leandre Johns, and Kevin Williams. And they just so happen to be black. Why does that matter? It matters because, sadly, their experience in life is different than mine. It matters because when I was an innocent child, I didn't hear the horrible, racist comments they heard. It matters because I'll never have to have the same conversations with my children that they have to have with theirs. 

All three of these people are incredibly smart, talented, successful, ‘upstanding citizens’, and all-around amazing people. They have degrees from schools like Stanford and Northwestern. They've worked at companies like Uber, Accenture, and Time, Inc. They come from military families who have honorably and bravely served our country. I couldn't help but think, "If my friends with these credentials are experiencing this, what is it like for an average ordinary person?" I can't imagine. 

We just kicked off our "The Power of Our Stories" speaker series at Dialexa. We've been discussing what we could do internally to further our passion for diversity, equity and inclusion (DE&I), and this is what we came up with. As usual, we took a slightly different approach than what we've seen others do. We believe in the power of stories to change hearts and minds. We wanted to hear real stories from real people. Our friends, coworkers, and neighbors: people we know, work with, and love. If we're going to change as a society, it starts with us as individuals. It's a simple fact that it's difficult to truly care about something beyond a superficial level if you can't find empathy with others' situations—relate to them at a human level. This first event didn't disappoint.

Get to know people. Hear their stories. I promise it will change your life and how you view others. I know it has changed mine for the better. 

A huge thank you to Ezinne, Leandre, and Kevin for sharing your stories. Thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable in the hopes of being part of a positive change.