The Power of One Question: My Favorite One to Build Authentic Connections Through Networking

Research by Harvard Business Review shows that executives with robust external networks outperform their peers, with these connections contributing up to 24% more value to career advancement and business insights compared to internal-only networks. But it’s not just any connections—it’s those real, meaningful ones that count.(Source)

In building my network, one question has unlocked deeper connections more than any other: "How did you get here?"

Simply knowing someone’s title or daily responsibilities is surface-level. This question invites people to share their journey—their highs, lows, and choices that reveal their values and what shaped them. These stories are memorable because they offer insight into who they truly are, beyond just another job title. Real connection begins when people feel seen.

Here’s what I learn by asking this question:

1. Values and Priorities

- What Matters Most: Choices, especially in challenging times, show what people hold close—loyalty, independence, family.

- Drive Behind Their Work: This isn’t just what keeps them going; it’s their personal definition of success.

2. Resilience and Realness

- Handling Setbacks: Everyone’s path has obstacles, and their approach to these challenges speaks volumes.

- Strength in Vulnerability: It’s not just about pushing through but also being open about the struggle. This honesty fosters connections beyond titles.

3. Identity and Growth

- Self-Perception: How they describe themselves—as a leader, a learner, a survivor—reflects their outlook.

- Evolution Over Time: Often, hearing their growth story mirrors our own experiences, creating a shared foundation.

4. Community and Connections

- Support System: Knowing the people who shaped them—mentors, friends, family—gives context to their story.

- Role of Community: Understanding their background and connections brings a larger perspective to who they are.

5. Joy and Purpose

- What Lights Them Up: Hearing what excites them offers a glimpse into their purpose, where work and passion meet.

- Energy in Their Words: The enthusiasm they share around their purpose is contagious and inspiring.

The stories people share connect us in a real way. By moving beyond titles and focusing on the person, we find the heart of who they are. And that’s where genuine connections happen.

Stay curious, ask questions that matter—and experience the power of this question. How did you get here?

How do you go beyond the surface to build your network?

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