The Power of One More Question: Boost Your Influence in 10 Seconds
Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT
Keynote Speaker | Cialdini Certified Coach & Consultant | Applying the Science of Influence to Boost Business Results ??
In the information overloaded society we live in, do you feel pressured to move quickly from one task to the next? What if I told you that spending an extra 10 seconds in a conversation could significantly enhance your ability to influence others? Here’s the secret: ask one more question.
Why is this so effective? Asking one more question, after helping or advising, can positively change how others view you, boost your authority, and build better relationships—using a few principles of ethical influence. Here are three reasons why this small change can make such a big difference.
1.?Avoids Miscommunication
Imagine you’re responding to a colleague’s email asking for advice. You give a thoughtful response, but before you hit send, you take a moment to add one more question. It could be something like, “Does that help?” or “Is that what you were looking for?”
Using this approach, you ensure that the recipient got exactly what they were looking for. This small act reduces the chance of miscommunication, and it shows that you care about the outcome. In Cialdini’s terms, this taps into the principle of?consistency when the person confirms you’ve met their expectations.
2.?Reciprocity in Action
The principle of?reciprocity—the idea that people feel obliged to return favors—is at play when you take the extra step to ask a follow-up question. When someone asks for your help and you give it, if you end the exchange with a question like, “Was this what you needed?” you invite them to reciprocate because they feel obligated to give feedback.
Without this follow-up, the other person may simply move on, mentally checking off that they received what they needed. But with one more question, you’re much more likely to receive a thoughtful response, fostering a sense of appreciation. And when someone feels you’ve gone the extra mile, they’ll be far more inclined to return the favor in the future.
3.?Positive Reinforcement Builds Liking and Authority
When you ask one more question, you often receive more than just a “thank you” in return. In my experience, responses like “That’s amazing, thank you!” or “You’ve really helped me out!” are common. This is where the principles of?liking and?authority?come into play.
By making sure the other person feels supported, you naturally engage the principle of liking—they feel good about the interaction, and by extension, about you. Moreover, their enthusiastic response reinforces your authority in their eyes. Over time, this strengthens your influence, making it more likely they will seek you out for help and guidance.
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A Simple Yet Powerful Shift
What can you do with this? I challenge you to put it into practice this week. Whether it’s in an email, a phone call, or a face-to-face meeting, end your next exchange with one more question. Try: “Did that help?” or “Is there anything else you need?”
I think you’ll be surprised by the positive responses you receive. Not only will you clarify your communication, but you’ll also strengthen your relationships, enhance your reputation, and increase your influence—all from a single, simple question.
Conclusion: Building Ethical Influence
In the end, asking one more question taps into several key principles of influence—consistency,?reciprocity,?liking, and?authority. By applying this technique, you’ll engage these principles ethically and effectively. The beauty of this approach lies in its simplicity: it takes almost no extra time but has lasting effects on your communication, relationships, and influence.
So, what’s stopping you? Ask one more question and see how it transforms your interactions.
Edited with ChatGPT
Brian Ahearn
Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE ?and a faculty member at the?Cialdini Institute . An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.
As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.
Brian’s first book,?Influence PEOPLE , was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority.?Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents ?was an Amazon new release bestseller.?The Influencer , is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.
Brian’s?LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk ?on pre-suasion has more than a million views!
Diretor de Cria??o na Sol Propaganda
1 个月Sure I'll try it, Brian.
Less stress, more success
1 个月Keeping in mind that everything be ethical, this also shows that thought was put into the issue/response. The other party gets the message that some analyzes was employed to be helpful.
Founder @CorDiFio Health | Digital Innovation & Advisory | TEDx & Keynote Speaker | The greatest wealth is health (Virgil)
1 个月"Was this what you needed?" - such a powerful question indeed! Thanks for this great article Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT One quick question: Does reciprocity really work? Sometimes there are situations when one gives and gives and others take and take... it feels strange, especially in a corporate context. What are your thoughts on this?
Holistic Sales Trainer of Non-Sales & Sales Professionals including P&C Commercial Insurance Underwriters since 2008
1 个月Solid post Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT, great reminder and such a simple step. The explanation on why it helps is very informative!
Workforce and Leadership Training & Coaching Consultant
1 个月I also like to ask, "What are your thoughts?"