The Power of One

My daughter is my muse. I often look at her corner of the world and see how similar it is to what’s being experienced in work life. Sometimes I write about it. She’d probably be very embarrassed by this, too. And,?mortified that I shared a photo. :)

Something I’ve noticed, which would be no surprise to most parents, is how big of an influence one person in a friend group can be. They can influence the entire group emotionally. From the decisions my daughter makes (emotions play a HUGE part in any decision making process- whether it’s buying a product or deciding what to eat) to feeling optimistic on a particular day or ready to give up, her friend group’s feelings and actions play a BIG part.?

She’s in her freshman year of college at a school on the opposite coast from us. The college was one of her top choices and she was so stoked to be accepted, and has been loving the urban campus.?

Until…

One of her friends was unhappy and decided to transfer next year. Then a few others have discussed transferring. One of her roommates is dropping out at the end of the year. She was hearing all of this chaos and negativity and was questioning her desire to stay. Keep in mind, she’s never doubted her school choice. Not once. She’s loved it there. Her grades are excellent. It’s a terrific college for what she wants to do professionally.?

The ability to influence the energy of people around us never changes as we grow older. It doesn’t always take a direct order to affect someone else’s motivation, it just takes one person’s new choice, foul behavior or bad mood. Then it’s like dominoes. One by one, people who felt strongly one way, now start to shift and eventually feel completely different. And, because like dominoes, they’re all side by side and only see each other, they’re convinced that’s it’s the only way to be.

As leaders, our ability to influence our teams’ sense of optimism should always be top of mind. Especially now.?

Recent research by the American Psychological Association concluded that people, particularly parents, were more stressed than ever. Not surprising and completely understandable! That stress can spread through teams, dragging them down. I’ve seen this, a leader facing stress stops connecting with their team, or only reaches out to those who feel the same way, they’re negative and that vibe spreads through-out the entire group. The damage one person can do is tremendous and long lasting.

And, it isn’t always a leader or a person with the big title, who ends up spreading pessimism, or causing a heavy layer of stress to creep across a team. It can be someone who just started their career and is frustrated, or someone who’s been at a company for years and is now feeling jaded. Each person needs to understand how what they put out into the world affects the entire team. And, it’s the leader’s responsibility to spot these problems and help people overcome them before it’s a barrier to innovation, productivity and the team’s personal growth.?

Going back to my daughter, and as a co-team leader in our family, I asked her: If your friends weren’t negative right now would you feel differently? On her own, judging just her circumstances, looking at her life and future plans…she’s very happy with her decision. I reminded her to step back from the group’s feelings and think through the facts.?

And on a much, much larger stage…

I’ve watched, absolutely heartbroken, as the war in Ukraine gets increasingly horrific. I find myself thinking again about the power of one person to influence a group. One person chose to limit information and spread their own deadly narrative that motivates in one devastating direction. The other person chose to share information, rally optimism, inspire revolt against that narrative and bring people together (I realize that's a major oversimplification of a complex situation). I remain in complete awe of Zelenskyy’s leadership.

If you ever doubt your own personal power to influence optimism in your world, look around you. One person can accomplish great things, influence people positively, sway masses. Choose to be that person. And, keep your eyes open for those who choose the opposite.