“The Power of Non-Striving in the New Year"

I have to admit - I have mixed feelings about the New Year. On one level, it offers us an opportunity to start afresh and set goals in our personal and professional lives. But on many levels, due to societal pressure, it can lead us to believe that we need to improve ourselves in some way -- that we are not good enough just the way we are in this very moment. Commercials about how to lose weight or what we should or should not be eating seem to flood our television screens and our social media feeds overflow with products that promise to make us richer or look younger. This can leave us feeling overwhelmed, anxious and quite frankly, inadequate about ourselves.

With mindfulness, we can become more aware of how society influences our personal beliefs, which in turn, impacts not only how we feel about ourselves, but our ability to reach our goals. To be able to recognize how we feel and what we often tell ourselves is what becomes the gateway to finding skillful ways to nourish ourselves and promote deeper personal growth. We create even greater potential when we let go of a rigid mindset and sense of urgency to obtain a certain outcome or become something more than what we already are.

Our attitude can make all the difference in how we experience the journey towards our goals. One of the attitudinal foundations of mindfulness is non-striving. As best explained by Jon Kabat-Zinn, we spend our entire lives trying to get somewhere, trying to become something, trying to achieve something. Living with this attitude makes it hard to just be in the present moment with whatever is going on. We may say to ourselves, “If only I were more calm, or more intelligent, or a harder worker, or more this or more that, if only my heart were healthier or my knee were better, than I would be ok. But right now, I am not ok.”

By practicing mindfulness, we can begin to understand that we are ok, no matter what we are experiencing, whether it is a physical or mental condition we are dealing with, a challenge at work or maybe in our personal lives. We are intrinsically whole just as we are in this moment. And when we lean into this notion and embrace it we strengthen the attitude of non-striving. That is what really allows us to nurture our inner qualities that enable us to grow, learn and achieve greatness both in our lives and in our world.

So, as we begin the New Year, one tip that I want to share with you is to notice when you are striving to get to some other place or to be something other than what you already are in this moment. Notice what it feels like in your body and what you might be telling yourself. As much as possible, let go of any judgment and the harsh inner critic. See if you can be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Invite the muscles of the body to soften and simply allow whatever is arising in the moment to just be. When we can approach our goals with more self-compassion and less rigidity, then we open ourselves up to the richness and possibility that exist in each new moment, rather than having to strive to get to the next moment.

Maria Bries Teresa G. Kara McCarthy Perry, JD Jeffrey Bunn Laurie Cappello Mindfulness in Law Society

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