The Power Of Narrating Your Life Chapters

It’s the start of the year and boy is there hunger to hit the ground running. While I have been known to be eager, urgent, maybe even a little impatient, I have also learned the importance soak time plays in allowing me to fuel up for another burst.?

Reflection allows for synthesis and sense-making. It crystallizes learnings and lays down the path for my next few steps forward. In that spirit, I’m starting off the year with a reflection exercise I’ve done and offer to you as you open the new chapter that is 2024.

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1. The Power Of Narrating Your Life Chapters

Stories are powerful, particularly the stories we tell ourselves. In a world that is often running at go go go speed, I often need an active reminder to slow down and make sense of what’s happened, what’s happening now, and what I want most from the future.

Spend at least 30 minutes on this storytelling exercise. Sometimes the waiting and marinating brings up another layer of reflection that wouldn’t surface if we sped on to the next question.

Start by imagining your life as a story:

Past Reflection

What chapter has just come to a close? What did you discover about yourself in this chapter? What qualities came out? What did this chapter give you? What is the Title of this chapter?

Present Reflection

What chapter are you entering now? What’s different about this chapter? If everything was possible, what do you want for yourself here? What are you proud of here? What’s the Title of this chapter?

Future Reflection

Let’s go to the future, imagine everything is sorted out, where have you landed? Who have you become? What do you see and feel when you imagine this person? What allowed you to become this person? What matters to you about this realization? What does this future version of you know about your present challenges? What’s the Title of this chapter??

Notice what stands out about your reflections most vividly. If there are any images, metaphors, or mantras that come to mind, write them down and find a way to keep them alive.?

My hope is this reflection generates a sense of conviction that I know lives inside of us if we can practice tapping into it a little more often.

2. Recommendation

Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig

ZAMM has so many moments of inspiration from seemingly ordinary everyday life. Here’s one of my favorites about rotisserie instructions:

“What’s really angering about instructions of this sort is they imply there’s only one way to put this rotisserie together – their way. And that presumption wipes out all the creativity…You lose feeling for the work. And not only that, it’s very unlikely that they’ve told you the best way….

…The craftsman isn’t ever following a single line of instruction. He’s making decisions as he goes along. For that reason he’ll be absorbed and attentive to what he’s doing even though he doesn’t deliberately contrive this. His motions and the machine are in a kind of harmony…”

My hope is if you read or revisit ZAMM you’ll find inspiration to write your own inner instruction manual and discover harmony in the process.

3. The Goings On

One of the highlights of facilitating at Stanford is being part of the team that makes Building Interpersonal Skills happen at Stanford Continuing Studies. It’s an experiential class that draws on the wisdom of groups to help us learn about ourselves and each other. The course uses the T-group learning methodology of Stanford’s Graduate School of Business’ flagship Interpersonal Dynamics course, which I also have the privilege of facilitating.

I’ve written about both these courses previously. What seems noteworthy to highlight this time around is the intention behind how we prepare as a group of facilitators for the class. The students never see this part, but the time we spend building connective tissue among us facilitators ahead of time is an important foundation that supports the whole class running smoothly. These two courses taught me the importance of investing time upfront to prepare to partner with others. We normalize talking about our working relationship before tensions appear. In fact, in this preparation we might share what could bother us in working with each other, how we might show up if we’re bothered, what we might need in the moment if we are. By naming potential speed bumps before we facilitate together, we give each other permission to bring them up if they actually do happen.?

I am far more comfortable saying “Hey remember that dynamic I told you about? Well it’s coming up for me now” than having to explain a sensitive spot for me while in the throes of all the emotions associated with that sensitivity at the same time.?

So here we are at the ‘upfront’ of 2024. Notice who your partners will be this year and take some time to share with each other: what could bother us in working with each other, how we might show up if we’re bothered, and what we might need in the moment. Prepare to be good partners to each other. I have learned loads from facilitating at Stanford, and one thing that’s clear to me is that the investment pays off.?

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Jennifer Ouyang Altman is the CEO and Founder of Inner Radio , a leadership coaching company working with executives hungry to define their leadership style, build effective interpersonal relationships, and harness the power of team. She facilitates communication and leadership courses with Stanford’s Graduate School of Business and is a CEO coach for Berkeley Haas’ CEO program. She is a LinkedIn Top Voice and her work has been published in the Los Angeles Times and Washington Post. She believes in the rules of radio: clarity, simplicity, and personality. You can’t speak and listen at the same time.