The Power of Motherhood

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

I say it that many times with the hope that it lands because today is definitely a happy day. I know our society says today is about flowers and cards and brunches, but for me this is really a day to pause, to take a deep breath and reflect on the enormity of motherhood.

That’s right, the ENORMITY of it because it is the biggest, most powerful, most all-encompassing job on the planet. 

I feel so blessed, so humbled and so honored to be a mother to Katherine, Christina, Patrick and Christopher.

The truth is, I was scared to become a mother. I was afraid to mess up, afraid I wouldn’t know what to do, afraid I wouldn’t be naturally good at it. That I would make all kinds of mistakes. I was raised by a formidable mother. And I was sure I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, measure up to the standards she set. (I actually discussed this—and other mothering musings—with Katherine for Huffington Post’s “Talk to Me” series, you can watch it here.)

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But I’ve come to realize that we all can mother in our own ways. And I’ve come to trust myself in this job.

I know my children. And I know deep in their hearts that they know I love them deeply. They know they are, and have been, my priority, my joy, my greatest purpose. They know I’ve made mistakes. They call me on how my parenting styles in their opinions have changed from the oldest to the youngest and what they sometimes see as inconsistencies between the boys and the girls, but I know they love me through all of it (and sometimes they’ve actually had a point).

They have taught me so much. They have taught me to love gently. They have taught me patience, kindness and acceptance. They have reintroduced me to play. They have helped me keep my sense of humor and my spirit of adventure. I have traveled the world with them, but the most valuable trips have been the ones where they have taken me deep into their thoughts, their hopes, their fears, their dreams.

On this Mother’s Day I give thanks to them. I thank them for who they are and all they have taught me and brought into my life. 

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I give thanks to my own mother who is celebrating in heaven with her mother. My mother taught me so many things, but what I miss most about her is her company and her presence.

What I have learned about motherhood is that I didn’t need to be afraid of all the things I couldn’t do. The most important thing I could do and can do is to love. Love openly and love unconditionally. Nothing else really matters. Not the to-do lists. Not all the classes I organized. Not all activities. At the end of the day, it’s the time we spend loving one another that I think our kids remember the most. The fun dinners, the UNO games, the walks, the talks. That’s what I’ve learned.

So as I sit here on Mother’s Day and as I contemplate my impending empty nest, I’m grateful.  So deeply grateful to God for letting these four people come into my life. They are, without a doubt, the four most beautiful souls I know. I love them to the moon and back, everyday and all days.

On this Mother’s Day that’s what I’m thinking about.

[Read more of Maria’s ‘I’ve Been Thinking’ essays here]