The Power of Listening: What to Do When Your Boss Isn't Listening and How to Get Them to Hear You Out

Listening is probably our most undervalued skill in the modern working world. As a skill, in both our personal and professional lives, it is foundational to relationships, progress and success and yet so often we don’t teach or foster it. More effective listening builds trust and promotes better communication, as well as enables us to drive engagement, morale and loyalty amongst our teams but the reality is not every boss is a good listener. As the ‘power of listening-led leadership’ rises in business circles worldwide, I’m sharing my experience on how listening can help you overcome even the most complex realities at work.?

The Power of Listening

Active listening involves not only hearing the words spoken but also understanding the underlying message and emotions. When leaders actively listen to their employees, they create an environment that encourages open communication, collaboration, and innovation. The data globally shows that employees who feel heard are more likely to be engaged, motivated, and committed to their work. In contrast, when employees feel ignored or dismissed, it can lead to frustration, disengagement, and decreased productivity and yet, this is increasingly stated as the single biggest issue for employees across industries.

Signs Your Boss Isn't Listening

Are you struggling with your boss not listening to you? Have you noticed them;

• Interrupting or talking over you?
• Not making eye contact or appearing distracted?
• Looking at their phone or emails as you talk?
• Providing generic or unrelated responses?
• Repeating the same instructions or questions, even after you've addressed them?
• Dismissing your concerns or ideas without consideration?

You are not alone. Whilst it can be extremely frustrating and very easy to place blame (fairly) on the leader, it is often in our ability to empathise with that boss that we can lead them to be able to hear us more effectively.?

My Proven Advice For Getting Your Leader to Listen

1. Be Clear and Concise: When presenting your thoughts, be as clear and concise as possible. Avoid rambling or going off on tangents, as this can make it difficult to follow your message. Focus on the main points, pause often to ensure the audience has understood them, and provide relevant examples or evidence to support your ideas.

1. Ask for Feedback: Encourage your boss to engage in the conversation by asking for their feedback or thoughts throughout. Ask them for their opinion, their alignment and their agreement. This can help demonstrate that you value their opinion and are genuinely interested in their perspective, making them more likely to listen to you.

1. Practice Active Listening: Model the behaviour you want to see by practising active listening yourself. Pay close attention to what they say, ask clarifying questions, and maintain eye contact to show that you are engaged in the conversation. Lean in, uncross your arms and demonstrate your own listening – it is contagious!

1. Be Patient and Persistent: Change doesn't happen overnight, and it may take time for your boss to improve their listening skills. Be patient, but also be persistent in your efforts to communicate effectively and don’t be afraid to speak to them about your challenges feeling heard. Often it is in the act of asking them overtly to listen that they will.

The power of listening cannot be underestimated, particularly in the workplace. When leaders actively listen to their employees, they foster higher levels of empathy, understanding and collaboration that drive performance. Effective listening is a skill that can be developed and refined over time, so be patient and persistent in your efforts. In the words of Bernard Baruch; “most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking.”?

For more insights on how the skillset of empathy can help you at work and home please visit www.empathyeverywhere.co or follow Mimi Nicklin - Empathy Advocate and Empathy Everywhere on LinkedIn, Mimi at @miminicklin on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok. Tune in to her top storytelling podcast via @mimiyouyoushow on Instagram or wherever you listen to your podcasts to hear the honest and truly inspiring stories of diverse individuals from around the world.