The Power of Knowing Your Values

This weekend one of the areas that we focused on during our Grit ICF accredited coaches training program was Values. As we taught this concept it reminded me that this is concept that is important to not just coaches but to everyone of us. Once you know your REAL values this can and will set you up to really find your true north. I really hope you find this weeks edition full of impactful information that will help you better understand Values, and hopefully you find some time to find your true values.

Why Values Matter

Values are like your personal compass, steering you through life. When you know what your values are, you understand what really drives you. This clarity helps you make decisions that reflect who you really are, leading to a more genuine and satisfying life.

When you live according to your values, you find a sense of inner peace. You’re not pulled in different directions by conflicting desires; instead, you live in harmony with yourself. This kind of alignment reduces stress and anxiety because you’re not constantly at odds with yourself.

Your values also play a big role in how you handle life’s ups and downs. When you’re clear on what’s important to you, your values act like a guide, helping you make the best decisions, even in tough situations. They give you stability and direction when everything else feels uncertain.

The Impact of Living According to Your Values

Sticking to your values can have a huge impact on your overall well-being. It can improve your relationships, make your career more satisfying, and help you find more meaning in life. When you live in tune with your values, you tend to attract people and opportunities that align with who you really are. This creates a positive cycle, where your life increasingly reflects your true desires, leading to more happiness and success.

Take honesty as an example. If you value honesty, you’ll likely build strong, trust-based relationships, both personally and professionally. This trust is the bedrock of meaningful connections with others. In your career, aligning your work with your values can lead to greater satisfaction because you’re doing something that resonates with your core beliefs.

On the flip side, when you’re out of sync with your values, you might feel stressed, dissatisfied, or conflicted. This can show up in various ways, like feeling stuck in a job that doesn’t fit with your values or staying in relationships that drain you.

Different Types of Values

Many of us do not realise that there are different kinds fo values. When I learnt this concept it blew my mind!

Means Values

Means values are essentially the methods or behaviours you use to reach a specific goal or outcome. They are not the end in themselves but are crucial because they set the course for how you achieve your ends values.

For example, if your end value is financial security, your means values might include hard work, discipline, and integrity. These means values shape your day-to-day decisions, such as how you manage your finances, your work ethic, and how you treat others in the process. They serve as the practical steps you take towards your end goals.

Means values are like the tools in your toolkit. They’re the behaviours and principles that guide your actions. However, it’s important to regularly evaluate whether your means values are truly serving your ends values. Sometimes, people become so focused on the means (like working hard) that they lose sight of the end goal (like financial security), leading to burnout or dissatisfaction.

Ends Values

Ends values are the big-picture outcomes you ultimately want in life. They’re the deep-seated desires that bring meaning and fulfillment. Ends values are the reasons behind your means values. They’re what make all your hard work, discipline, and integrity worthwhile.

Consider a person who values freedom. Their ends value might be the ability to live life on their own terms, free from constraints. To achieve this, they might prioritise means values like financial independence, adaptability, and continuous learning. These means values guide their actions, but the ultimate driver is the desire for freedom.

Ends values give direction to your life. They’re the reasons you get up in the morning and the things you reflect on when you look back at your life. By identifying your ends values, you can better understand why you make the choices you do and whether those choices are leading you towards the life you truly want.

By understanding both your means and ends values, you can ensure that your actions are aligned with your ultimate goals. This alignment ensures that you’re not just going through the motions but are actively working towards a life that truly reflects who you are.

Examples of Values

To help you identify your own values, here’s a list of common values that people often prioritise:

• Honesty: Being truthful and transparent in your actions and words.
• Integrity: Upholding strong moral principles and staying true to your beliefs.
• Compassion: Showing kindness and empathy towards others.
• Freedom: Valuing autonomy and the ability to make your own choices.
• Growth: Pursuing continuous personal and professional development.
• Creativity: Expressing yourself through innovation and original ideas.
• Connection: Building deep and meaningful relationships with others.
• Security: Prioritising safety and stability in your life.
• Adventure: Seeking new experiences and embracing the unknown.
• Contribution: Making a positive impact on others and your community.
• Respect: Treating others with dignity and valuing their perspectives.

These values are just a starting point. Your own values may differ, and it’s important to take the time to reflect on what truly matters to you.

Exercises to Elicit Your Own Values

Here are a couple of exercises to help you dig deep and uncover your core values:

Exercise 1: The Peak Experience Reflection

This exercise helps you discover your values by looking back at moments when you felt most alive and aligned with your true self.

1. Recall Peak Experiences: Think about three or four times in your life when you felt the most joy, fulfilment, and satisfaction. These should be moments when you were fully engaged, and everything just felt “right.”
2. Identify the Values Present: For each peak experience, ask yourself what values were at play. What was it about those experiences that made them so meaningful? Was it the sense of achievement, the connection with others, or the freedom to express yourself?
3. List and Prioritise Your Values: Once you’ve identified the values in your peak experiences, write them down. Then, prioritise them by asking yourself which ones are most important to you. This list will give you a clear understanding of what truly matters to you.
4. Reflect on Alignment: Think about how well your current life aligns with these values. Are there areas where you’re living out of alignment with your core values? How can you adjust to bring your life more in line with what you truly value?

Exercise 2: The Values Discovery Questionnaire

This exercise is designed to help you uncover your core beliefs by reflecting on different aspects of your life.

1. Self-Reflection Questions:

• What do I stand for?
• What principles guide my decisions?
• What qualities do I admire in others?
• When have I felt most proud of myself?
• What do I want to be remembered for?

2. Explore Past Conflicts:

• Identify situations where you felt angry, frustrated, or disheartened. What values were being compromised in these moments? For example, if you felt frustrated in a job where you had little autonomy, freedom might be a core value for you.

3. Identify Patterns:

• As you reflect on these questions and conflicts, look for patterns in your responses. Are there recurring themes or values that stand out? Write these down.

4. Prioritise Your Values:

• After identifying a list of values, prioritise them by considering which ones resonate the most with you. These are likely your core values.

5. Create a Values Statement:

• Craft a personal values statement that captures your top values. This statement serves as a guide for making decisions and living authentically. For example, “I value integrity, growth, and compassion, and I strive to live in alignment with these principles in all areas of my life.”

Understanding and living your values is an ongoing process. As you grow and evolve, your values might shift, so it’s important to regularly check in and reflect on them. By aligning your actions with your values, you can create a life that feels true to who you are, bringing greater fulfilment, resilience, and purpose.

Many times trying to find your values by yourself is more challenging as you are not pushed to think out of the box. If you would like to have a values exercise done with you, please get in touch. BUT first give these exercises a go and see what comes up for you.

Till next time try use your values to help you live your most fruitful life.

Prajesh

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