The Power of Keeping Promises to Yourself: A Path to Self-Respect and Fulfillment

Let's dive into the incredible power of promises.???

We all know that feeling of disappointment when we break a promise to someone we care about, like when you promise your son you’ll be there at the start of his baseball game and a meeting runs long so you show up 20 minutes late.??

The worst part is that you know he knows you were late.? That’s the kind of disappointment I’m talking about.?

The real issue here is that you make promises to yourself too.? Just like your son knew you were late to his game, you know it when you break the promises you make to yourself and over time, those broken promises have a big psychological impact.

In this blog post, we're going to explore the far-reaching implications of self-betrayal, the erosion of self-esteem, and the transformative potential of honoring our commitments. Get ready for some introspection!

The Psychological Impact

When we constantly let ourselves down by breaking promises, we chip away at our self-trust and confidence. It's like building a house on a shaky foundation.?

Our self-perception takes a hit, leading to self-doubt and insecurity which makes it even harder to set goals and go after them in the future because there is that little psychological trigger in the back of your mind saying “why bother?? You probably won’t win this time either.”

In other words, it damages the view you have of yourself.

It also creates a trustworthiness dilemma.

Safe to say, reliability and trustworthiness are important in any relationship, including the one you have with yourself.?

When you repeatedly break promises you've made to yourself, it's like we're playing mind games with your own trust. Even if no one else knows, you do. And that awareness can really undermine your self-esteem and self-respect.

The Seeds of Cynicism, Pessimism, and Disengagement

Breaking promises to yourself can deliver a cynical outlook on life.?

You start doubting your own intentions and potential, which makes a lot of people scared to set goals in the first place. If you get into that mental space, it’s like you've given up on the possibility of achieving your goals before you even try.?

And that, my friends, can drain the motivation and enthusiasm right out of you. No bueno!

Repeated self-betrayal (harsh language, but that’s exactly what it is) can gradually nurture cynicism.? It creeps up slowly and then it feels like all of a sudden you start doubting your own intentions and potential.?

If you continuously break our own promises, you may come to believe that achieving your goals is a futile endeavor, kinda like trying to grab your keys after you dropped them in hot lava. This pessimistic outlook can further weaken your motivation and enthusiasm for creating a better life for yourself.

Even worse, when you start to get pessimistic, you start to disengage.

When you no longer trust yourself to follow through on commitments, you become increasingly disengaged with your own life.? You might stop setting goals altogether, as you anticipate your inability to achieve them. This disengagement can lead to a stagnant existence, with zero personal growth and fulfillment.

The Long-Term Consequences

So, here's the thing. Breaking promises to yourself usually starts small.?

Skipping the gym one day, or not meeting with the employee you know is underperforming … those are seemingly inconsequential actions.?

But over time, those small failures add up, eating away at your self-esteem and sense of responsibility.?

And the consequences? They escalate.?

Missed opportunities, unfulfilling careers or relationships—we're talking serious self-sabotage.

The Importance of Keeping Promises to Yourself

Now, let's shift gears and talk about the incredible benefits of keeping promises to yourself.?

Picture this like supercharging your self-identity! When you honor your commitments, you reaffirm our value and worthiness that you really know to be true about yourself. You gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you're capable of achieving.?

Self-identity is key to personal growth and well-being, my friends!

Once you get the ball rolling and start to keep the promises you make to yourself, it paves the way toward meaningful goals.? You start to trust yourself to follow through on commitments and then leverage that trust into even more ambitious aspirations.? That creates a positive feedback loop, where each success reinforces your self-esteem and motivates you toward the next accomplishment.

So let’s get practical with a few ways to keep promises to yourself

Strategies for Keeping Promises to Yourself

1. Set ‘Micro Commitments’: People want to go from zero to a hundred right off the bat.? If they haven’t exercised in 5 years, they tell themselves they are going to run a marathon.? If they make $100,000 a year, they tell themselves they are going to make a $1,000,000 a year.? Those are massive commitments with long time lines that create hundreds of opportunities to break the promise to yourself.??

Start small instead.? Promise yourself that you’ll go for a 10 minute walk tomorrow or that you’ll take the first module of that online course you bought a while ago to help you make money but never looked at.??

It takes time to build trust with yourself, but every time you follow through on a micro commit, you start to trust yourself a little more.

1. Tell People About It: If you read my last blog, you know that accountability partnerships usually don’t work.? This is different though because you are creating an accountability partner out of yourself.? When you tell other people about what you plan to do (not ask them to hold you accountable to actually doing it), you’re creating additional motivation to do what you said you would do.? The fear of having those people ask you how it’s going and you having to tell them you didn’t do it or lie about it is often enough to motivation to get yourself to follow through even when you don’t want to.
2. Bounce Back: When you’re in the phase of learning how to follow through, you will inevitably make some mistakes.? When that happens, it’s easy to start negative self talk about how you didn’t follow through and “here we go again…”? Instead of that, just revisit the importance of following through on what you said you would do and recommit to the next action.? If you missed taking a walk one day, don’t beat yourself.? Just commit to taking a walk the next day and do it.?

Conclusion

So, my friends, honor those promises you make to yourself. Breaking them can have a profound impact on your self-image, relationships, and aspirations. But fear not! You hold the power to change within you.?

By setting micro commitments, telling other people about what you have committed to doing, and recommitting to the next action when you fall off track, you pave the way for a future filled with meaningful goals and personal growth.?

Remember, keeping promises to yourself is not a burden; it's an act of self-love and empowerment. It's a pledge to become the best version of yourself and to honor the unique potential within you. So, go ahead, make those promises, and keep them. Your future self will thank you for it.