The power of joy and the importance of hope

In my life, and in the midst of the hardest moments I have endured, it has been the power of joy that has pulled me out of some very difficult places. When we are playful and joyful in our lives, despite the stress and setbacks that we face, we are maximising repair and giving ourselves the opportunity to be more creative, present, energised, happy, and well.

When we are feeling low, and defeated like we want to give up. We lose a sense of meaning and motivation in our lives, we lose hope. This is a difficult space to navigate, we can lose our centre and inner anchor that allows us to remember who we are, what we are made of, and what we are capable of when life gets hard.

Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. It is an inner knowing rather than anything that can be acquired externally. It can be a wave that rises up from the belly, up into the heart, and out of the head. An elevation of energy that makes us feel elated, lighter, and more hopeful.

The problem

In life, we deal with change every single day. Every now and then, life will bring bigger change that may feel like a setback, like a divorce, illness, or a beginning or ending, professionally or on a personal level. Our rock-bottom moments are critically important and can serve as the catalyst that propels us forward into change, so we are able to walk an unknown path that feels as scary as a black abyss.

How we respond to change is directly connected to the choices we make our ability to repair, and to how connected we are. Our ability to rise above and be bigger than our setbacks is the key to seeing our situation from a bird’s eye perspective, so we can be more creative and innovative.

Perhaps you are aware of what your barriers are, and the inner conflicts that hold you back? Or maybe you are not able to identify them just yet, but you know what it feels like, that inner resistance that stops you from moving forward, from finding the inner courage and resilience to feel the fear and do it anyway.

It is typically the very thing you always avoid, what you are most scared of conquering, and we are so good at overcompensating and disguising these fears! That’s because they are big and can take a lifetime to unravel and face.

The solution

What we can do is give ourselves the best environment to be open to change, by being malleable, flexible, and resilient. Then when we are faced with the bigger changes in life, we are ready and can accept the call to courage.

When we are flexible, feeling resilient, and regularly ‘doing the work’ on ourselves, we are more anchored. Just as the roots of a tree enable the tree to be flexible, when we are more anchored in life, we are better able to know who we are and what is right for us.

I know that the worst decisions I have made in the past have been when I have not known what situations to walk away from. This inability leads to a major disconnection between us and our life’s path. The best decisions I have made have been when I have been able to recognise which situations are right for me to walk towards. I believe that one of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to be responsible for being able to distinguish between the two.

More than ever before, we must adapt to change in our lives. I would love to share my resilience work and experiences with you, to help you master change in your life, with a new perspective on the power of flexibility.

To be resilient is to keep going, despite the setbacks we face. It is the ability to dig down and find strength, even when things are going against us. To transform a closed mindset into a growth one, we want to maximise resilience, so we can change our minds about how we feel, about old beliefs from the past, and what can be possible for us. Whenever I have gone through a time of change, have needed repair from illness, or have had to perform and be on top of my game at work, mastering resilience with flexibility has always been the common denominator that has got me through.

What we believe about ourselves, and what can be possible in our lives, is what truly matters. However, shifting beliefs from a loss of inner power, suffering, pain, illness and even trauma is an incredibly subconscious and transformational process.

It is one of adversity, that involves confronting our inner dragons and shadows.

This journey asks us to walk a path unpaved, requiring courage to jump into the black abyss of the unknown, forcing us to find resilience within and discover what we are made of.

Waiting on the other side is a path of awaking, joy beyond your wildest dreams, a feeling of elation, and a rising, that makes you feel like you could do it all over again. From there, you’ll see your world with fresh eyes and a higher understanding of your life. Who you will become, after all, you have been through, is a whole new version of your mind, body, and soul. And sometimes, also a healing.

From paralysis to moving again: I found hope

Hope is important, it is when I found hope after going through one of the hardest times of my life, that everything changed for me.

Every Tuesday night, my friends and I used to have a ‘girls’ night’, which I couldn’t attend while living in rehab. However, sometimes my beautiful girlfriends would come to me, and those nights were the highlight of my week—my month! It was so wonderful for me to still feel connected to my mates while going through such an isolating, terrifying time in my life. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to each of my mates who visited me.

I am lucky to have amazing friends. They were busy with their career and full schedules, but they took the time to come and see me after work every few weeks. Like a scene in The Hangover, walking down the corridor, finishing their day talking on their mobile phones, stunning as ever, my friends turned heads. A nurse told me one day that there was a running rumor in the rehab centre that there was a famous person staying there. Maybe it was because every time we were together, it was like an Entourage episode; we all had so much fun together, usually belly laughing out loud, as I was carted around the hospital in my wheelchair. I am a lucky girl and it really reminded me about the power of connection and its role when we’re healing.

?It goes without saying that my family was also dedicated to ensuring I had what I needed and didn’t feel alone. Mum visited as often as she could, as she was at home looking after our grandmother who had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.? Nicole would lie in my single hospital bed some nights, so I wasn’t alone. In the morning, if we had a nice nurse, she would draw the curtains and say, ‘Morning twins!’ and bring in breakfast for two. I cannot begin to explain how grateful I am for Nicole’s love and kindness through this challenging time of my life.

?On a Tuesday night, I had dinner with my girlfriends Vick and my sister Nicole. They wheeled me out of the hospital and across the road to the pub. We laughed over dinner, and I forgot about the 24/7 nightmare that was my reality. That night, I felt more joy and elation in my body than I ever had before. It was like I truly received and absorbed pleasure for the first time in my life. Maybe it was because it had been so long since I had felt happy? It was the most fun I’d had in months. What I do know is that at that moment I redefined what happiness meant to me; gratitude swept up inside me and I felt it intensely in a transformative way.

It is truly only the little things that matter and that you miss when you lose so much in your life. Like being able to dress yourself, drive to where you need to go, and just laugh and have cherished moments with the ones you love.

After that Tuesday night dinner, something very special happened. Nicole wheeled me back to my room and helped me change into my pajamas. Then she went to the bathroom and, suddenly, my toe on my paralysed foot moved for the first time.

?It was at that moment that I found hope and started to channel my energy differently. A new motivation came over me, and I knew what I had to do! With hope, I now had the courage to focus on what I wanted, instead of what I didn’t want. This shifted what I believed could be possible, and I began to use my energy towards recovery, instead of being so frightened. This would later translate into every other part of my life.

The next day I was first in at physio and last to leave; I was a woman on a mission. I was focused, and determined and I wanted to get my mind, my body, and my life back. After that moment of change, I felt guided, like I knew what I had to do. I had clarity and could see a path forward. Everything started to flow with momentum. I noticed my body responding more and more to physio, and I began to move other parts of my paralysed left side. The way my body was mirroring my mindset shift inspired me; it was so life-changing. This incredible gift was literally about to change every other aspect of my life. I had been given a second chance.

?My suffering was reduced; I had more energy, brain integration, and problem-solving capacity to navigate myself towards solutions. Feeling safer in my body, my brain let go of stress more and more. When we let go of that ‘alarmed state’, we begin to prioritise growth and repair pathways, rather than survival and degeneration. The clouds began to lift—it was like an out-of-body experience. Strength and focus grew within me as I had never experienced before. I discovered a sense of self-belief and awakening; for the first time I truly began to believe in myself and what I could be capable of. A new version of myself was born, and a bright light emanated from within. Feeling safe and motivated, I had more energy to rejuvenate and heal. My perspective shifted about my circumstances, leading to a higher understanding, inviting new solutions and a renewed sense of wellbeing.

I found joy

I learned about the importance of joy and the impact it can have on our minds and body. I also learned that you can only truly cherish the light of joy when you know the despair of darkness. We all go through setbacks in our lives, some easier than others, some that will completely rock you. Perhaps those rock-bottom moments serve as a catalyst for change?

Perhaps those moments of contrast are part of life’s design, teaching us to develop understanding and wisdom, using the power of polarity for a deeper understanding of life? I have also learned that setbacks can be detours that are designed to move us on. Maybe we are supposed to feel uncomfortable so that we are forced to walk a new path.

As a doer and a girl who thrives when she feels driven, I did what I knew: I worked hard in my physio sessions, three times a day, five days a week. I had to relearn how to use my left hand and arm again, and how to eat with two hands. I had to relearn how to wash and dry myself. I discovered that fine motor skills are quite important and necessary for lifting your hands over your head, allowing you to wash your hair. I had to relearn how to pick things up, how to smile, how to problem solve, and how to exist again. Week by week, I started to get movement back in my toes, fingers, arms, legs, and face. I learned how to use a foot brace to walk, holding onto people or a wall. The leg brace helped me to lift my leg up when I began to learn how to walk; my gait was still returning, stage by stage.

I progressed to walking with my knee taped up, then to walking on my own! Those first few steps to freedom were … indescribable. I was walking again! There was my life before that moment and my life after. A switch turned on inside me, and I channeled my rock-bottom moment into pure drive and fought to get to the other side.

I was determined to leave that hospital, not just walking but running!

?And I did. It wasn’t the most graceful of runs, but I did it.

?Henry

When I came home from the hospital in 2009, a gift came into my life exactly when I needed it. A little ray of sunshine arrived in my life. On Christmas Eve, nine months after I’d come home from the hospital, I bought myself an adorable black baby pug. I named him Henry, and he kissed and cuddled me through so much. There were some great moments when having him by my side was wonderful, and there were more difficult days when he would snuggle extra close because he just knew. He became another reason to get up and keep fighting on the harder days.

?I had never experienced such love, joy, and connection with an animal before. Henry opened my heart to love again and helped me reconnect back to my heart in ways I never had before, the very ingredient that would lead to immense healing within me. I became a mum for the first time. Looking after a little being was the best thing for me, after being taken care of by my loving family for so long.

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You can change your mind and let more joy in

After researching recovery, and observing results I have had both with my clients and on my own journey, I have observed that a transformation is more likely to occur when the idea and desire for a result (conscious) shifts to a deeper (subconscious) belief that it is possible. This takes courage, and vulnerability, and is often a journey of learning new thoughts, habits, and routines.

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To change our life, we must believe it can be possible first. We must be able to close our eyes and see a vision of this reality, feeling and connecting to the emotions of having it and the joy it would bring into our life. It is an act of creation, forming more energy around a thought, a desire, and an imagined reality, then drawing it into our lives physically. What starts as an idea and the birth of a desire—usually from realising what we don’t want—slowly becomes an organism that we nourish, water, and grow.

Just wanting something for us is not enough to make it happen. I am going to repeat this again and again: what we believe is what matters.

How can we possibly attract more success or health in our life, if what we want is not aligned with what we believe can be possible? I believe every possible scenario has its own signature vibration. If we wish to create something, we need to embody this vision as though it has already happened, drawing it into our reality.

Another key ingredient is surrendering to the desire and letting more flow and joy in. When stressed, we can block pleasure and joy from our lives, perhaps from a punishment or sabotage cycle, we are familiar with or addicted to, or from something we are unaware of. This is also a mirror image of believing that nothing good is happening or can happen for us. Everything becomes a mirror image of what we are believing, thinking, and feeling.

Remember, the mind and body are connected. What we tell ourselves, our body believes. When we tell ourselves we are a leader, we begin to feel and act like a leader. What we believe is connected to our actions, how we show up and what we create. All of this determines how our body perceives our environment and therefore what biochemistry it fires.

Life isn’t easy. We form our identity and beliefs at such a suggestible age when our brain is still learning who we are and what we believe. Often, the pain or trauma that our ailments and issues stem from happened during our childhood. Perhaps this was the plan all along so that we can learn what we don’t want, opening a path that allows us to find resilience within, to discover what we are made of? The lessons we learn along the way make us who we are on the other side, usually happier and healthier human beings.

We are rarely taught how to work through our emotions, our pain, how to question the old stories that we create, and how to make sense of some of the things we must go through in life. The good news is that all of this is malleable and that is what ‘bending like bamboo’ is all about—mastering resilience with flexibility. We can learn to choose our thoughts, our reactions, what we believe, and therefore how our body reacts to change and stress.

Our reactions are a mirror image of what we believe about ourselves. If we can embrace the opportunity to choose our reactions, which requires us to be calmer, more present, and intentional, we can truly change the course of our lives.

Tips:

I recommend starting with smaller changes; they will translate into bigger ones. For example, brush your teeth with a different hand; dry yourself differently when you get out of the shower; go to new places on your lunch break.

Most of all, seek joy in your life again. In my experience and also from seeing clients at my practice, when we can elevate to see joy and opportunities for growth from adversities, we can accept and forgive them, joyfully. We can drop whatever was creating inner conflict within us, walk away from sabotaging cycles in our lives, embrace change, and receive joy in our hearts again. Joy has the ability to saturate each and every cell of our being, healing us in ways we are yet to understand.

Elevate your state

By now you will know that I love using a wristband as a prop, but you can use anything that works for you as a reminder. My wristband helps me remember to get out of my head and drop into my heart, bringing myself back into the present moment, my most creative state.

My hope is that you enjoy living in this elevated state, seeing your world from a higher perspective, with fresh eyes, and a higher understanding of your life and circumstances. I truly believe our setbacks, circumstances, and the hurdles we face are in our lives to help us grow. I’d love for you to see each challenge as a gift, leading you to a path that will help you become the person you are ready to be, to receive all that you are wanting. Reconnecting with yourself is an opportunity to reset on a path to receiving wellness, love, and success.

Once you master this elevated state, I then want you to practice holding this state across the day. You should notice you are less reactive and more observant. Every word, every thought, and every choice you make in creating your health and your reality.

I highly recommend the power of meditation. Doing it regularly will build your Qi; it will strengthen your mind, body, and soul. You are powerful and a creator of your health and life. I believe you can change your mind about what can be possible for you, reimagining your health and your life. I explore this and the power of connection in my courses which you can find on my website.

For stories of motivation that will inspire you, you can also listen to my resilience podcast

Bend Like Bamboo.

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