The Power of Joy: Finding Peace and Stillness

The words “happiness” and “joy” are often used interchangeably, however they are distinct experiences. Happiness is a temporary emotional state which is dependent on external circumstances. On the other hand, joy is more enduring. Joy is based on internal meaning and fulfillment. In this post, we’ll explore the characteristics of these two emotions and highlight why pursuing joy may be a more valuable strategy than seeking happiness.

Joy: Greater Depth and Breadth Than Happiness

Happiness is typically linked to specific, short-lived moments. Happiness is the thrill of earning a promotion, purchasing a coveted item, or a night out with friends or colleagues. Bursts of happiness are short lived. They’re tied to circumstances that inevitably change. In contrast, joy originates from within. Joy is often connected to living in alignment with one’s values, building meaningful relationships, and cultivating gratitude for life’s blessings. This depth is what makes joy more helpful and even transformational.

An analogy may help illustrate the differences. Happiness is like the sugar rush one gets from eating a bowl of ice cream—it provides an immediate, temporary boost. Unfortunately, that happiness may also come with bloating from too much lactose plus a sugar crash. Joy, on the other hand, is like eating a nourishing meal that sustains one over time contributing to long term nutritional health.

The temporary nature of happiness can be explained by a psychological phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation. Hedonic adaptation occurs when the excitement from a positive change, such as purchasing the latest iPhone, quickly wears off and becomes part of one’s everyday normal experience. Once the novelty wears off, one is left searching for their next happiness fix.

Joy on the other hand, resists hedonic adaptation and is more stable and pervasive. It's less dependent on novelty or external stimuli. Instead, joy emerges from practices and perspectives that foster longer-term fulfillment, such as nurturing personal growth or connecting deeply with others. Joy is characterized by resilience. It endures through life’s ups and downs because it's rooted in meaning rather than the pleasure of a particular moment.

How Joy Differs From Happiness

To understand the distinction between happiness and joy, imagine purchasing a new home or apartment. Happiness might come from having a place of one’s own, inviting friends and family to come visit, and being free of paying rent to a landlord. However, this excitement typically fades as the reality and routines of home ownership set in. Appliances break, roofs leak, rooms need fresh paint, and the monthly mortgage and annual property taxes must be paid. These are just some of the stressors that home owners must contend with that cause the initial happiness of home purchase to fade.

Joy, on the other hand, shows up in more enduring ways. It might arise from mastering a challenging concept or skill, or in the realization that one’s hard work aligns with long-term goals. Unlike happiness, which is often reactive and situational, joy tends to be proactive and reflective. As such, joy is rooted in one’s deliberate actions and sense of purpose. In owning a home, joy might be found in raising a family, deepening human relationships, mastering home maintenance skills, or redesigning and remodeling the dwelling to better suit your lifestyle and living needs.

Joy, Peace of Mind, and Stillness

One of the profound qualities of joy is in bringing peace of mind and a sense of stillness. Happiness tends to be spiky, whereas joy is more of a slow continuous burn. Joy can provide a deep sense of contentment that allows one to feel at ease even during challenging times. Joy is not about escaping difficulties but rather finding meaning and strength within them.

As I mentioned in last week's column, practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, creating a sense of sufficiency, appreciation, and calm. Similarly, joy often arises when one feels fully present, appreciative and connected.

Practices for Cultivating Joy

Fortunately, joy is not just a passive state but something that can be actively cultivated. Here are a few practices to try throughout this week.

1. Practice Gratitude: Dedicate 5-10 minutes each day to reflect on the things that you’re thankful for. Write down 3 things you’re grateful for to help you focus on the positive aspects of your life.

2. Engage in Mindfulness: Spend 10 minutes each day paying attention to the present moment; without judgment. You can attempt this through meditation, deep breathing, or simply observing your surroundings. Mindfulness helps you build a greater sense of awareness, peace, and stillness.

3. Perform Acts of Kindness: Help others by volunteering, or supporting a friend, or offering a genuine compliment. Such acts often lead to joy by reinforcing your role in a supportive and caring community.

4. Align Actions With Values: Reflect on what truly matters to you and ensure that your life choices truly reflect those values. Living authentically can foster a deep sense of fulfillment, peace, and joy.