The Power of instant connections: how magnetic relationships shape our lives and leadership

I’ve been using Lunchclub , a free networking platform, for about a year now. I think of it as a low-stakes, safe way to practice networking, and a fantastic opportunity to meet some incredible people from all walks of life. (I recently met someone who invented the SIM card!) Most meetings are pleasant, and others? Instant connections. Conversation flows easily, the energy is electric, and you just know you’ve met someone special.

Recently, I met a woman in New York, and we completely hit it off. Neither of us wanted to end our call! This experience got me thinking about connections, those rare, immediate bonds that feel different and can be life-changing.

Finding magnetic connections

I’ve made many connections in life, and I bet you have too. These instant connections hit different. Conversation flows easily, there’s a different energy, a spark, a magnetism, an excitement, an easy engagement, and a longing and/or desire for more! And, for me, when I think of the people I have these special connections with, I can’t help but smile!

When you have these connections, you just know it.

Special connections can come from:

? Shared interests and beliefs. Alignments on a deeper level can fast-track a connection.

? Being your authentic self. It helps to attract like-minded people.

? Openness and curiosity. Asking good questions and being genuinely interested in others can reveal that instant chemistry.

Years ago, I was on the fence about a job opportunity, until I met the hiring manager. After one conversation with the hiring manager, I Wanted (with a capital W) that job. I Wanted to work with her. I felt an instant connection, and working with her was a defining experience in my career. She wasn’t just a manager, she became a mentor, advocate, and friend.

Instant connections change communication

When you truly connect with someone, communication is different. You:

?? Pick up on subtle cues: you just get each other, reducing misunderstandings

?? Feel safe being yourself: no need to constantly filter yourself or walk on eggshells

?? Give and receive feedback easily: trust removes defensiveness and allows for real growth

That same hiring manager? We worked together for nearly eight years and our coaching and feedback conversations, even when difficult, weren’t that difficult because of our strong connection. In one (of many) pivotal moments, she encouraged me to network and seek outside mentorship. I took her advice. The result? More visibility, deeper trust across the company, more opportunities to work autonomously, and a promotion!

Leadership and connection: it matters!

When you recognize and foster connections on your team, it can lead to stronger, more cohesive teams. Alignment may likely happen more quickly, especially when people naturally understand or “get” each other. And, with deeper connections, coaching and mentorship becomes easier. That deep connection can foster more and easier opportunities to guide and support people in a way that resonates for you both.

Cultivating connections, even if they aren’t instant

Sometimes you just “click.” And other times, you may need to work to find that “click.” In either situation, it’s worth it to work on cultivating connections through intentionality. Let’s take a look at a few ways you can do this as a leader, in your team, or even with personal relationships:

1. Lead with curiosity and active listening - magnetic connections often start with a shared genuine interest in the other person. Use open-ended questions, listen for what lights a person up, and find a way to show you are engaged and interested. Avoid being overly focused on the next thing you want to say.
2. Show up as your authentic self - connections abound when you let your real self shine. It’s hard to connect with polished, robotic people, people that don’t let you get to know them.
3. Find and build common ground - pay attention to shared experiences, values, and small things like favorite books, food, and maybe even unique habits. Lean into the commonality you find. In one role, I was responsible for leading new employee orientation. One week, a person came in and when she introduced herself to the group, I thought to myself, “I need to become her friend.” Fast forward almost 11 years. We remain amazing friends and continue to mentor, support, and encourage each other.
4. Be generous with recognition and encouragement - connections grow with those who make us feel seen and valued. Call out potential you see in others, recognize strengths, efforts, and even small wins. Sometimes a simple, “I see this in you” creates and solidifies a lasting bond.
5. Trust your gut - sometimes you just know you have an instant, magnetic connection. Don’t overthink these. Lean into them. Cultivate and nurture them. Enjoy that magic!

Whether in leadership or personal relationships, it is also important to foster psychological safety. One way to do this is to assume positive intent and listen and respond with kindness and respect, even when you may disagree. Additionally, make time for real, organic conversations. Those unscripted, un-agenda-ed times when you can have a meandering conversation about whatever comes up? These free-form conversations do wonders. Even small efforts like informal conversations at the watercooler or through networking groups can spark and develop strong bonds. Two of my strongest work friendships started through a Slack app called Donut. We stayed connected for years!

When you find yourself connecting with someone, don’t let that go. Nurture it, enjoy it, and double down on maintaining it.

Your turn ??

?? Share a time when you formed an unexpected magnetic connection. How did it come about? How has it impacted your life or career? Drop your story in the comments. I’d love to hear it!

#Networking #Leadership #ConnectionsMatter #EmotionalIntelligence #CareerGrowth