The Power of Initiating
Tim Richardson
The Power of the Pause/Exceptional Service keynotes, workshops, and panel discussion facilitator. Speaker, author, husband, father, outdoor enthusiast, and aspiring jazz pianist.
Do you initiate conversation, or do you wait for others to initiate?
I’d like you to try an experiment. Greet ten people you don’t know as you walk around during your day. My prediction is that most will reply to your greeting. Then try a similar experiment without greeting others and count how many people initiate a greeting to you. I predict that it will be a very low number. I have replicated this experiment 100’s of times in the community where I live as well as all over the country. It doesn’t matter if I am in the Southwest, Northeast, Southeast, Northwest, or center of the country; the results are almost always the same – almost 90% of the people I greet return a greeting of some kind whereas less than 10% of the people I pass will initiate a greeting to me. I have tried this experiment outside of the U.S. and the result are the same.?
Why should you be an initiator??
- Initiators get jobs.?
- They get promotions.?
- They close more deals.?
- They make more friends.?
- They get more positive recognition.?
- They build consensus.?
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- They are first to market on new product.?
- They are team builders.?
- They build others up.?
Why don’t people initiate? My guess is fear of rejection.?
Earlier this week while traveling, I had an initiation opportunity. I was in the Delta Sky Club in the Atlanta airport as a woman walked up to a big table where I was sitting with a few other people. I observed her as she sat down and something inside of me told me to greet her. I sensed that she had had a rough day and could use some kindness. However, instead of initiating a conversation, I did nothing. My thought process took me through a few reasons why I shouldn’t talk to her – would I disturb others at the table “working”? Did she want to be left alone? Would she take my efforts to engage with her as something more than what I intended??
It was at the end of a very long day and as extroverted as I am, I decided in that moment to just be quiet. I causally watched her for a few minutes and again felt compelled to say something to her, but I didn’t.?
It’s not like me to not trust my gut in situations like that.?Had I to do it over again, I would have definitely spoken kindly to her.
I’d love to hear how you have benefited from being an initiator, and how you quieted the voice that may have told you to not initiate.
Musician - Cartoonist
2 年My parents used to travel internationally, especially my dad. It was a game to them to observe other passengers on long flights and to see what they might discern about them. Then my dad would approach them, introduce himself and invite them to socialize a little bit and find out how accurate his speculations were. This led to many friendships and business connections. I'm a musician and big introvert, but my partner does not hesitate to engage people in the audience. We're in a tourist town, and his opening line is to ask people where they're from. That always initiates a conversation, and often connections. I seldom, but not never, initiate such conversations, especially when I don't observe anything that might indicate some common ground, but I will usually talk to anyone who approaches me, unless I have a pretty good reason not to, and I'm not always correct in my evaluation of those reasons. That approach may backfire, but it usually doesn't. Overall, it's worth the risk to be a "people person", even if you have to learn how.
Senior Healthcare Sales Executive | Revenue Cycle | Workforce Compliance | Building Relationships and Driving Results
2 年My dad was fearless when it came to initiating a conversation. He could being buying a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk at the store. By the time he paid, he knew the checkers name, where they were from, and their life story. As a kid it was irritating, as an adult he was a legend. ?? Starting a new job and attending conferences, trying to build a new network and create new opportunities, I have no choice but to initiate conversations. It hasn't always been easy, but it is paying off. Personally, I have been inspired by people's stories, made some new friends and brought some moments of joy in peoples day. Bringing random moments of joy to people is my favorite part. If I get in my head and don't "feel" like engaging people when I know I should, I think back to my old man, get over myself and jump in. 9 out of 10 times it was the right decision.
Confidence Cultivator | Author | Professor | Speaker | Pastor | Storyteller | Zoom host and presenter
2 年I relate to the concern that it can be taken as something other than intended, especially when it's me (a man) initiating a conversation with a woman. Fortunately, I have reached an age where the assumption is more likely to be that this is just a dotty old man passing the time instead of someone on the prowl. That makes it a lot easier to initiate a cordial conversation. :) When I started teaching college over 40 years ago, I noticed a lot of female students looking at me and smiling with that "come hither" look. After just a few years, they quit smiling at me at all. In the last five or so years they're smiling again, but it's now in that "adorable grandfather" kind of way. Quite a different experience. :) Having said that, in all my years I've only ever had one bad experience from initiating a conversation. That's a story for another post. Although I'm an introvert, I'm a social introvert, and so a) I've never had trouble initiating a conversation, and b) the times I have decided not to engage have been the times I just needed quiet for recharging my social battery.
Virtual Executive Assistant at Best Virtual Assistants
2 年LOL! I would have said Hi to her... I posted another person's post about saying something always to other Moms because they might not hear it ever.??????