The Power of Incidental Mentoring

Happy New Year! In a recent conversation with a colleague, I remarked with surprise at how many of my direct reports and professional colleagues provided feedback on how much they appreciated my mentorship. I didn’t consider myself as actively mentoring most of these colleagues. This conversation taught me the power and untapped potential of incidental mentoring.

Formal vs. Incidental Mentoring

While formal mentoring programs have their place, leaders can integrate mentoring into everyday management. Incidental mentoring is ad hoc on-the-spot mentoring that occurs spontaneously when the mentor observes a situation where the mentee could use guidance. It can be a short or quick comment or a longer two-way conversation.?

This approach goes beyond the standard positive and corrective performance feedback. It involves seizing spontaneous moments to impart wisdom, share experiences, and offer guidance.?

Deepening the Mentor-Mentee Bond

In these instances, the focus isn't solely on the task at hand but extends to the mentee's personal effectiveness and long-term career aspirations. This deeper engagement fosters a bond of trust, showing the mentee that their growth and success matter to you, not just as an employee but as a person and a professional.

Benefits of Mentoring

Numerous credible sources underscore the importance of mentoring. For example, according to the Harvard Business Review, employees perform better when they have mentors, they advance in their careers faster, and experience more work-life satisfaction. Individuals who receive effective mentoring are more likely to get promotions, feel more satisfied with their career progression, and are less likely to leave their jobs. This highlights the dual benefit of mentoring – it aids both personal growth and organizational stability.

Mentoring is a Collective Responsibility

In her insightful book “Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success”, author, Sylvia Ann Hewlett, explores the fact that women and minorities are often overlooked in mentoring opportunities. She posits that this disparity stems from the fact that senior ranks are still predominantly occupied by white men. In a post #MeToo era, some of these men hesitate to engage in closed-door sessions with women due to concerns about perceived impropriety. Similarly, there’s a reluctance to mentor individuals of color, as there’s a fear that candid feedback might be misconstrued as racial bias. Consequently, women and people of color are frequently reassured of their adequacy but simultaneously bypassed for promotions. Also challenging are statistics indicating that women are less likely to feel sufficiently knowledgeable and confident to seek promotions compared to their male colleagues.

As a black woman, the data encourage me to set aside any fears beset by imposter syndrome and step into the responsibility to mentor. We cannot rely on the assumption that someone else will shoulder this crucial role. Mentorship is a collective responsibility, and none of us are exempt from contributing to the growth and advancement of others in our professional communities.

Leaders as Mentees

Another crucial aspect of this mentoring dynamic is its bi-directional nature. Leaders should not only mentor but also be open to being mentored – by superiors, peers, those in junior roles in and outside the office. When our adult children came home for the holidays, my daughter asked about my vacation plans. The long list I recited included everything from finishing my next Mindful in 5 book to getting a jump on my taxes. She listened thoughtfully and when I was out of breath, she commented that since 2024 would be a busy year, perhaps I should just focus on resting. That single piece of advice changed my entire approach to the Christmas break and I have fared much better for it. When applied in the workplace, this openness creates a culture of continuous learning and mutual respect within an organization.

The Takeaway

To conclude, as leaders, we hold a responsibility not just to manage but to mentor. Incidental mentoring, woven into our daily interactions, can profoundly impact our teams' growth and success. It's about building relationships that transcend professional boundaries, fostering an environment where every interaction is an opportunity for growth and learning. Remember, the most impactful lessons often come in the most unexpected moments. In 2024, let's embrace the power of incidental mentoring to create a more dynamic, engaged, and successful workplace.