The Power of, "I Don't Know"

As a child, I had a major flaw—I could never say, "I don't know." It drove my father up a wall. He would ask me a question, and even if I had no idea what the answer was, I would fumble through an attempt to make something up rather than admit I didn’t know. One day, I remember him, completely defeated, asking me, "Why can't you just say, you don't know?" That moment stuck with me. It wasn’t just frustration; it was a lesson. A lesson I’m still trying to incorporate many years later.

As professionals, we’re often expected to have all the answers—instant experts, human Googles, walking encyclopedias. But here’s the thing: we don’t. The beauty is that we don't need to. In fact, there’s something powerful, even liberating, about the phrase "I don't know."

At some point, we’ve all faked an answer or nodded along in agreement when we had no clue what was happening. Maybe it was in a meeting, or maybe during a particularly intense game of trivia (no one really knows how many bones are in the human body off the top of their head, right?). Or, perhaps it was that time your boss sent a heartfelt email to congratulate a team member—only to get their spouse's name completely wrong. Whoops. What if we could normalize "I don't know" and treat it as a strength rather than a weakness?

Why Saying "I Don't Know" is Powerful

1. Opens the Door to Learning When you admit that you don’t know something, you're essentially saying, "I’m ready to learn." It's like cracking open a door to curiosity. It's impossible to know everything (even though my ego sometimes wishes it could). The truth is, when you confidently say, "I don’t know," you're displaying intellectual humility, which is a breeding ground for growth and innovation.
2. Builds Trust People appreciate honesty. If you're always the person with the "right" answer, you might come off as arrogant or, worse, inauthentic. Saying "I don’t know" signals that you’re real, transparent, and open to collaboration. There’s no shame in it. In fact, there’s something refreshing about being the one who can say, "I’m not sure, but let’s figure it out together." Trust me, getting an important detail wrong—like the name of someone’s significant other in an email—has a way of unraveling any good intentions. A simple "I don’t know," followed by asking for the correct info, would have spared that boss a lot of awkwardness and probably saved them from a team-wide email cringe moment.
3. It’s a Professional Superpower Not knowing something doesn’t make you less of a professional; it makes you human. A well-placed "I don't know" in a meeting can reset expectations and even encourage others to speak up with their own questions. Remember, your next big idea could come from embracing uncertainty. I once gave a presentation and was asked a question that, honestly, I didn’t know the answer to. Rather than fake my way through it, I responded, "I don’t know, but I’ll get back to you." And here’s the kicker: I actually followed up. When I found the answer, the person I reached out to was so appreciative that I took the time. They were honored that I circled back to them—and in that moment, I realized that "I don’t know" wasn’t just about being honest; it was about showing people that their questions matter.

Leaders, Take Note

Saying "I don't know" isn’t just for individuals—it's essential for leadership. When leaders are willing to admit gaps in their knowledge, they set a tone of openness, curiosity, and continuous learning. This not only builds trust but encourages team members to be honest about their own uncertainties, fostering a culture where learning is prioritized over perfection.

A leader who’s always claiming to have all the answers risks creating an environment where employees are afraid to ask questions or admit they need help. But when a leader says, "I don’t know, let’s figure it out together," it shows that growth and collaboration are more important than pretending to know it all.

How to Master the Art of "I Don't Know"

There’s an art to saying, "I don’t know." You can't just drop it and walk away. Here’s how to do it with finesse:

• Pair it with a Plan "I don’t know, but I’ll find out by tomorrow." This shows initiative. You don’t have to have the answers right now, but you’re committed to finding them.
• Be Confident in Your Uncertainty It’s easy to think "I don’t know" makes you look weak. Spoiler: It doesn’t. When delivered with confidence, it makes you look self-assured and pragmatic. You're focusing on the solution, not pretending to be the expert when you aren’t.
• Laugh About It Life is funny because no one really knows what they’re doing half the time. Embrace the humor of the situation. It lightens the mood and makes people more comfortable admitting their own gaps in knowledge.

Final Thoughts

In a world that’s obsessed with expertise, admitting "I don’t know" is quietly revolutionary. It invites learning, fosters trust, and encourages collaboration. Plus, let’s be real—it saves us from some truly awkward situations. (Like that time I was asked about blockchain technology, and I could only respond with a blank stare and a vague, "It’s... something with the internet?").

So, the next time you’re in a meeting, on a call, or even just at a dinner party, don’t be afraid to say those three little words. It might just be the smartest thing you do all day. But then again, it may not. After all, "I don't know."

Your Turn

How has embracing "I don’t know" impacted your work or personal life? Share your stories in the comments—let’s normalize the art of learning together.