The Power of "No": How Saying No Can Make You a Better Leader

Have you ever considered that "no" might be one of the most powerful words in your negotiation toolbox? Negotiation expert Susie Tomenchok argues that saying no is essential for establishing boundaries, fostering respect, and creating leverage in your professional life.

In this post, we'll explore Susie's insights from her podcast, Leaders with Leverage, and explore why we often struggle to say no and how to do so more effectively.

Why Saying No is So Difficult

Using the word "no" can be difficult for many reasons. We fear disappointing others, and we worry that it might damage relationships. Interestingly, research shows that most people overestimate how often they'll hear "no" if they ask for something.

On the other hand, we also struggle to hear "no" ourselves. We often misinterpret it as a definitive "never" rather than an opportunity to explore the other side's perspective and find common ground.

How to Develop a Better Relationship with "No"

Susie offers three tips to help you develop a healthier relationship with the word "no":

1. Be Aware:?Pay attention to?how "no" is used around you.?Notice how others say?it,?and how they react to hearing it.
2. Practice:?Start small. Begin by saying no to low-stakes requests to get comfortable with the word. As you gain confidence, practice using "no" in a way that is thoughtful and respectful of the other person.
3. Respond to No Effectively:?When you hear "no," don't give up. Use it as a springboard for further conversation. Ask clarifying questions to understand the other side's perspective.

By following these tips, you can overcome your fear of saying no and leverage it to become a more effective negotiator and leader.

Stop, Start, Continue: Putting It into Action

I always consider how to put these tips into action. I like to use the stop, start, and?continue framework to?consider?what I will adjust to shift my mindset. I will share my answers in the podcast episode (link below).?

Take a few minutes to reflect on your relationship with "no" and how you will take action.?

Here are some prompts to get you started:

• Stop:?What will you stop doing when it comes to saying or hearing no?
• Start:?How can you use "no" more effectively?
• Continue:?What will you self-acknowledge and continue doing related to "no" that you're already doing well?

Remember, "no" is a powerful tool. Using it strategically and intentionally allows you to create boundaries, build stronger relationships, and achieve better negotiation outcomes.

Want to listen to this episode in full on my podcast episode??

Go here to listen to the full episode here .

For additional resources on how to adopt a negotiator mindset, check out negotiationlove.com to connect with Susie.