The Power of "Good Morning!"

I grew up learning to always greet people with a smile and a courteous, "Good Morning." So imagine my surprise moving to Toronto and having people look at me like I just told them pigs could fly.... or worse, getting COMPLETELY ignored. ??

This is what living in the metropolis feels like and I HATE every bit of it.

?? Am I wrong for wanting to say Good Morning?!... ??

?

Since COVID, people fear being near others and with our evolving technology, we literally can avoid 99.99% of all human interactions...

Our collective society is becoming more self-contained & egocentric. This hurts our ability to connect authentically, let alone have any sort of meaningful conversation.

All we hear are horrific things like stabbings on the TTC and it's made us fear for our safety and become hostile towards others (meaning definitely do NOT engage with strangers). I get it, living in the metropolis is expensive and we're all stressed, tired, and do not have the time nor energy to nurture relationships with people, let alone converse with strangers.

However, simple inaction is an insidious vote for the future we want to create and it WILL shape the lives of our children; we're choosing a more divided, intolerant world where people are incapable of making simple exchanges, let alone discuss ideas to learn and grow together.

We are collectively living parallel lives, HYPERSENSITIVE to any sort of criticism (keep in mind this is coming from a highly sensitive person), and have become so jaded & intolerant that there is zero room for critical thinking without cancel culture breathing down your neck and spine

??But Fionne, how is a simple "Good Morning," the solution to our collective division???

I'm glad you asked!

Without being super nerdy, I am going to explain how saying "Good Morning," can not only make your morning but also repair our growing sense of division.?

Positive Psychology, Meditation, and Mindfulness

We cannot begin this conversation without first understanding the power of Positive Psychology so let me start here.

Martin Seligman is the man who changed my life.

The first time I learned about him and his work was in a 1st year psychology class. We read his book, Learned Optimism – How to Change Your Mind and Your Life and it began to reshape my entire worldview.

"The premise of positive psychology is that well-being can be defined, measured, and taught. Well-being includes positive emotions, intense engagement, good relationships, meaning, and accomplishment (PERMA). Questionnaires can measure it. Trainers can teach it. Achieving it not only makes people more fulfilled but makes corporations more productive, soldiers more resilient, students more engaged, marriages happier. Seligman even came up with a formula: H = S + C + V. Happiness equals your genetic set point plus the circumstances of your life plus factors under voluntary control." -Peter Gibbon (Martin Seligman and the Rise of Positive Psychology )

Prior to his work, I had been a very pessimistic and cynical person. I was stuck in a state of perpetual learned helplessness and it felt like no matter how hard I worked, things were utterly meaningless.

Although the entirety of the book slips me, the core remains: With a more joyful outlook on life, we’re in a much better position to enhance our wellbeing .

Happiness is within your control. It takes effort and practice. Money is less critical than you think. Social connections are vital. Helping others increases well-being. Live in the present. Express gratitude. Employ healthy practices. I ask her what remedy is the most important. “Without a doubt, sleep. Every study proves sleep-deprived students are unhappy students.” -Peter Gibbon (Martin Seligman and the Rise of Positive Psychology )

Since (gradually) shifting to a more positive mindset, I can confidently attest to the power of positivity but don't just take it from me. There are plenty of benefits to Positive Psychology.

Some include:

1. Improved ability to deal with stressors in a healthy manner
2. Increased intrinsic motivation
3. Increased performance/ productivity/ team cohesion
4. Improved career optimism leads to more subjective success and higher adaptability
5. Teaches perspective and gratitude
6. Prioritize things outside of money
7. Enhances wellbeing
8. Encourages giving back
9. Put negative emotions into context
10. Encourages authenticity
11. Focuses on present moment (aka. Mindfulness)

(read more here and here )

Although I am still FAR from being the content, I've come a long way. At the root of becoming more positive was practicing meditation and learning mindfulness. You don't have to meditate to become mindful. However, meditation helps you cultivate the skill of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a metacognitive process that requires engagement and attentiveness along with an observational stance that is removed. Clients are taught to see thoughts, not as concrete reality, but just as thoughts, which come and go and therefore can be tolerated. One of the goals of mindfulness based therapies is to promote experiential acceptance (and thus negate experiential avoidance) by showing how mental states, albeit painful at times, can be non-harming and transient if engaged in a non-judgmental attitude of curiosity (Allen, 2012). This observational and reflective stance has been reported to assist the reduction of pain of chronic pain patients through enlivening and increasing optimism that can move away from the sense of being overwhelmed by pain (Fritsche, 2014). Reflective stance can be measured with the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (Carlson & Brown, 2005) - J.Czamanski-Cohen & K.L. Weihs (The Bodymind Model: A platform for studying the mechanisms of change induced by art therapy )

Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Through mindful living, you are able to slow down and recognize your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and behavioural patterns. Through questioning your internal dialogue, you begin to dissect your thinking. You can then implement actions to change yourself and respectively, the life you wish to live.

??How does this relate to saying "Good Morning"???

Part of being mindful is being aware of your surroundings and the people passing you by.

When we constantly pass people without any acknowledgement (a wave, head nod, verbal pleasantries like 'Hi', etc.), it erodes away at our key essence: our humanity. We are all SOCIAL creatures and we require social interactions to thrive.

"Good Morning," is a simple way to connect with others. It is a very low risk exchange to simply wish another human well.

If either parties wish to engage in further conversation, the opportunity is now available but if not, you can simply continue walking & no harm is done. Through this simple exchange, you can brighten up each others' day with an extra hit of dopamine. Through this small act of kindness, you are inadvertently spreading more joy, positivity, and kindness out into the world ...

"The point, though, is that we all go forward with the presumption of good faith in our fellow citizens because that presumption of good faith is essential to a vibrant and functioning democracy." -Barack Obama

And if that isn't a great way to start your morning, I don't know what is. ??

So let's start by making "Good Morning!" great again ????

With love,

xoxo

Additional Reads:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8702160/

https://positivepsychology.com/learned-optimism/

https://www.sl.nsw.gov.au/stories/long-history-power-positive-thinking

https://www.ie.edu/insights/articles/positivity-is-not-magic-its-science/

https://draxe.com/health/positivity/#:~:text=Research%20suggests%20that%20benefits%20associated,and%20greater%20connection%20to%20others .

https://agewellct.org/whats-new/research-reports/harvard-study-optimism-leads-to-longer-life/#:~:text=The%20Harvard%20Study&text=Researchers%20found%20that%20the%20most,beyond%2085%20years%20of%20age .

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/05/stanford-university-study-positivity-makes-kids-smarter.html#:~:text=Researchers%20at%20the%20Stanford%20University,enhanced%20their%20problem%2Dsolving%20abilities .

https://europepmc.org/backend/ptpmcrender.fcgi?accid=PMC5074079&blobtype=pdf

https://www.neh.gov/article/martin-seligman-and-rise-positive-psychology#:~:text=The%20premise%20of%20positive%20psychology,Questionnaires%20can%20measure%20it .

https://online.jcu.edu.au/blog/positive-psychology-examples-techniques#:~:text=Having%20a%20broader%20focus%20helps,they%20can%20be%20more%20authentic .

https://www.aurahealth.io/blog/simple-acts-of-kindness#:~:text=When%20we%20are%20kind%20to,the%20world%20a%20better%20place .