The power of a generative question

Article by Felix Viloria

HOW DO THE QUESTIONS MAKE US FEEL?

WHAT WE ASK DETERMINES WHAT WE FIND...

Why are they so often wrong?

What did they do wrong and who is responsible?

Why don't they do as I say?

If you have ever stopped to detail what excites and engages you during a meeting or any conversation in your work environment, we invite you to think about what kinds of questions are asked to stimulate conversation.

Take, for example, the following group of questions and locate a situation or work meeting where you have heard them:

Now review and perceive how they made you feel: your emotions, your intention, your corporeality? Surely, they evoked unpleasant memories that made you want to get out of there and not be part of that meeting.

When analyzing them, they have a very powerful component: they seek to place the responsibility, not to say the punishment, on the person who receives the question.

This type of inquiry produces an attitude of closure, of distancing. It takes us completely out of the intention of "being part of" and puts us on the defensive, and can even make us run away... it connects us with fear!

Human beings come with two "installed capacities" so to speak.

Survival instinct, for one thing, makes us pay close attention to negative events because ignoring a threat can be harmful, dangerous, or even deadly.

In the case of the questions you just reviewed, these triggered an alert that what would follow later in that conversation could be toxic or harmful to you.

On the other hand, thanks to wise Mother Nature, we are also subject to the heliotropic effect. Like any other living being, we are drawn to the positive and away from the negative.

While the survival instinct leads us to a state of prevention, where possibilities are unlikely to be found, the heliotropic effect invites us to expansion, flourishing, and possibility.

What can we do to transform this situation?

What possibilities are there that we haven't thought of yet?

What solution would benefit us all the most?

A generative, powerful, and positive question that invites thoughtful decisions, depersonalizes the situation, and focuses on the outcome is the key to creating a positive climate and conversation.

Shall we do a test? Read this set of questions now and see the difference:

These are questions that invite you to be part of the situation, but more importantly, to work with others to find the solution and new ways to collaborate.

These are generative and appreciative questions, whose formulation is intended to make us look at reality in a different way and lead us to the future; they will always generate curiosity, progress, and enthusiasm.

And to round off these ideas, we quote the words of Naguib Mahfuz, winner of the 1988 Nobel Prize in Literature: "one recognizes intelligent people by their answers; wise people are recognized by their questions".

The next time you want to build valuable relationships, empower, and promote co-responsibility in your team, take a few minutes beforehand to design two or three powerful and generative questions that make the conversation result in analysis, exploration, and co-creation.

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