The Power of Forgiveness at Work

Forgiveness is often undervalued in its impact on business outcomes. Any team pursuing important goals is bound to experience its share of differences and unresolved conflicts, and rarely will they be resolved on the spot. Unless the team is prioritizing artificial harmony, which I would discourage, individuals will be constantly presented with the choice to either address these issues directly or harbor damaging assumptions that weigh them down and harm the organization.

I have witnessed firsthand numerous instances of the toxic effects of “unforgiveness” in my own organizations and those I've advised. Conversely, I have also seen the transformative power of clearing misunderstandings or agreeing to disagree while continuing to collaborate.

For instance, in one situation, two of the three high-ranking leaders in my plant, let's call them Bill and Jack, harbored mutual distrust, leading to organizational silos. After months of investigation, it was revealed that Bill felt Jack was threatened by his technical skills and was thus not supportive of him. How Bill came to this conclusion was the really interesting part of the story though. Bill recalled an incident when, upon greeting Jack, who was having a conversation with someone else, Jack?merely?acknowledged?him with a glance rather than greeting him back!

The most shocking part of all this was when this incident had taken place:?12 years previously!?Upon uncovering this long-held mistaken assumption and working to repair the relationship, Bill and Jack became close partners and the organization no longer suffered because of their strained relationship.

In another case, a participant in my 3-month Leadership Academy sought coaching to mend a broken relationship with a former colleague that they were previously very close with. By employing the five-step process I outline in The Transformative Leader, they were able to successfully repair a decade-long rift. It wasn’t rocket science either; they were able to do so by simply listening, acknowledging, forgiving, and seeking forgiveness

The damage caused by holding onto unforgiveness is especially evident in the contempt we carry for past bosses and colleagues, projecting their real or assumed faults onto current leaders and colleagues. We construct an armor of experiences and self-created narratives, which, ironically, weighs us down more than the threats we believe it protects us from.

Cultivating meaningful workplace relationships that can withstand misunderstandings and disagreements is paramount to a team's well-being as well as their ability to deliver results. What steps are you taking right now to foster an environment that encourages healthy conflict resolution and timely resolution of issues? What are you doing to ensure that you aren’t also holding on to unforgiveness and inadvertently holding yourself back as a result?

If there are topics you find to be of special value to you, or if you’d just like to get in touch and chat about what’s going on with you, simply reply to this newsletter or send me an email at?[email protected].?If you’re experiencing challenges that you would like my perspective on, or you’d like to explore how we can partner with you to support you in your transformative journey, please?click here?to schedule a call with me.?I’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go of Unforgiveness

Holding on to unforgiveness is one of the greatest stumbling blocks to us showing up as Transformative Leaders, as it keeps us anchored in the events of the past and hinders our progress in moving toward the future of our choosing. The causes and effects of unforgiveness all have to do with our scarcity mentality and our tendency to prefer to feel like a victim rather than rise above challenges and declare, pursue, and achieve something extraordinary.

We tend to not forgive others because we relate to ourselves as the victim who deserves some sort of restitution before we can grant our forgiveness. Meanwhile, we are the ones who end up shrinking to fit the size of our complaints and resentment. The key, if you can’t find the strength to forgive, is to take some action that will make it easier to do so. Have the conversation you’ve been avoiding, apologize or accept someone else’s apology, right whatever wrongs you still hold against yourself, etc.

Get in touch!

What have you noticed about the culture, and especially the language, of your workplace? Is it empowering or defeating? Is it self-focused or others-focused? Are others aware of it, or has it gone unnoticed by most? Have you been able to make a clear connection between the language, culture, results, and morale, or is the connection still a little fuzzy for you? I’d love to know what you came up with, so?feel free to reply with your thoughts.

Also, if you answered “yes” (or “no!”) to any of the questions above, I’d love to partner with you in the process of creating an extraordinary culture that delivers breakthrough results and unprecedented fulfillment. If you are interested in learning more about how The Ghannad Group can partner with you to transform your culture,?click here?to schedule a discovery call with me.?During our conversation, we can discuss your specific situation and I’ll share my ideas and insight relative to the questions you have.?

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