The Power of Focusing on Detail

Simple focus drawing out nuance. That’s what a coaching session is all about.?

Here’s an example that sticks with me.

My "tenacious" client

My client said she was often described as tenacious and didn’t like it, or feel that was true.

So we explored that one word and why it provoked a strong reaction in her.

We discovered that she thought it meant others perceived her as needy so if she was described this way they were judging her as not self-sufficient enough.

On one level this meant that she could reframe her interpretation and see her tenacity as a strength, not a weakness.

But there was an important deeper level.? We worked on why she judged herself so harshly around the theme of need versus self-sufficiency.

We were able to work on steps that supported her expressing her needs more comfortably.?

The weight she felt from feeling that she had to do everything alone, even in a team dynamic, was lifted.

But here’s the thing...

My other "tenacious" client

I had a second client who I observed might be described as tenacious.

She also had a strong reaction to being described that way and rejected it.

Here’s what I didn’t do.

Assume that she felt that way for the same reasons as the first client.

There is no cookie-cutter approach that is good coaching.

We spent the session probing with simple questions and here’s what we learned:

She equated it with survival. Having to “keep going” in order to be successful and have the approval of others.

Understanding this meant that she could recognize the underlying pressure she felt from a fear of being rejected.

We were able to create the steps she need to implement to address her need for validation from within.

The same word, two different experiences.

What these situations had in common was the discovery of deeper beliefs and emotions that influenced their reactions.

Using coaching to move from a reactive state to a responsive one is a huge leap forward in personal development.

With greater self-awareness about what is driving you, and how you can master that, you can reach your goals much more quickly than you could without applying that focus on the nuances beneath the surface.

If you want to look for the nuance in your situation, I am taking discovery calls now for 1:1 coaching with a September start date. Three coaching places are available.

Book your call using the link in my profile or drop me a DM.