The power of focus, controlling where we channel our energy and being present

It is funny how you can know something, yet still struggle to implement it. I have read and written extensively on how the only time we have is the present. I know first-hand that worrying is futile and of the benefits of mindfulness and living consciously. And yet, I still find my ability to live in the way I know I should, to be elusive.

So this month is as much a memo to self, as a reminder of the importance of focus. We live in a world which does not encourage this skill. In an age of information overload and always-on distractions, there is constant competition for our attention.?

But with finite time and energy, unless we are focusing on what we can control we are only standing in our own way. There may be countless things outside our control, but there are also always elements within it. When we redirect our attention to these things, we exert our energy and time in a way that can make a real difference.

As the saying goes, what you focus on is what you get. We’ve all heard about, and most likely witnessed, the law of attraction in action. So as we speed towards the halfway mark of 2023, now is a great time to stop and reflect on any goals or intentions you have for this year. Where are you channelling your energy? Is it working? Or have you become distracted and distanced from your aspirations??

The good news is it’s never too late to reset. After all, the only time we have is now.?

I have reached the sad realisation that I am a try-hard. The label that no one wants in school, seems firmly glued to my forehead. But it’s not fitting in or being cool I care about. No, I am a try-hard when it comes to life.?

When faced with a problem or a goal, I will throw myself at it head-on, exerting every last drop of energy until I have nothing left to give. Usually making myself stressed and miserable in the process. Meanwhile, I watch as others around me make similar feats look easy, as if on cruise control. Refusing to stress or make a mountain out of a molehill, I long for their ability to ride the slipstream of life, secure in the knowledge it will all work out in the end.

One of my more unhelpful traits, I do not recommend the try-hard way of life. Which is why I do recommend this video from The Tim Ferriss Show. Making the point much more eloquently than I just have, Derek Sivers uses a bike ride he does from Venice Beach to Santa Monica, to demonstrate that exerting more effort doesn’t always equal better results. Rather, if you’re on the journey, you may as well relax and enjoy the ride.?

One of the standout books I read last year was Energize by Simon Alexander Ong. A ball of energy himself, you can practically feel Ong’s zest for life infusing you as you turn each page. I wrote about why I recommend it so highly back in the second edition of Future You but there was one exercise that particularly stayed with me.

Shared in Chapter 5 on Turning Obstacles into a Source of Energy, Ong details the story of one of his clients who lost her job during the pandemic. The exercise he got her to do in order to refocus, is one anyone can adopt when facing a challenge. I’ve coined it the circle of control for the visual Ong uses but the process (as paraphrased from Energize pages 108-111) is as follows:

1. Write down a brief summary of the challenge you are currently facing.
2. Make a list of what you can’t control.
3. Make a list of what you can control.
4. Reflect on which list you are currently spending most of your energy on and its impact on your energetic state.
5. Decide today to take responsibility for where you are and to let go of what you can’t control. Put a line through the things you can’t control and imagine what it would look like to focus all your energy on all that you can control.
6. Looking through the list of what you can control, break these down into some small action steps and highlight one that you can commit to this week.

As an overthinker who often dwells on worrying (despite knowing I shouldn’t), I love this exercise to not only get everything out of your head but to refocus on what is within your power. When we are in our own heads, with uncertainty swirling, it can be hard to remember that there are some things we can still control.

Crossing out the ‘can’t controls’ is very cathartic and helps you to clearly see where to channel your energy. As Simon says, “Life is too short to waste your limited energy on worrying about events that are outside your control.”

I have developed a rule for when indecision sets in. Born out of my travels, I often find myself with a long list of ‘want to dos’ and not enough time. I need to prioritise, but how??

Enter the ‘one thing’ rule. Very simply, this involves identifying the one thing you can’t do at home. For example, the other week I was in Barcelona for work with limited time to myself. There were a few things I had earmarked for any spare time, including going to the gym and walking along the beach. The beach won as I can go to the gym in London, but morning beach walks are a bit more challenging!

Not just for travel, I’ve been testing this principle for a while now. Its beauty is in its simplicity. By asking yourself what you won’t easily be able to recreate or do at another moment you cut through a myriad of choices to identify the one which is unique. The one you may come to regret the most if you pass it up.

Quite often when I’ve been applying ‘one thing’ thinking, it will be someone rather than something that is the real opportunity. A great reminder to be present and live in the moment, it highlights the importance of not taking time for granted and truly being where you are, as soon you will be somewhere else.

So next time you are overwhelmed with options, give the ‘one thing’ guideline a go and see where it leads you. I’d love to hear how it works out for you.

"The myth is that there isn't enough time. There is plenty of time. There isn't enough focus with the time you have. You win by directing your attention toward better things." - James Clear

"It's hard to remember that this day will never come again. That the time is now and the place is here and that there are no second chances at a single moment." - Jeanette Winterson

This month I leave you with a 2-4-1 special on the quotes. I opened James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter last week, and both these quotes were in there. It felt too serendipitous not to include them given that we seem to be on the same page in terms of the focus theme and understanding how intrinsically linked it is to time and living in the now.

I hope this instalment of Future You has sparked some inspiration. If so, please do share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this month’s topic including any tactics you use to stay present and focused in the comments below.?

Best,

SJ