Power of Feeling
Neil Soskin
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Earlier today I was chatting with one of my coaching clients.? We were discussing what holds him back, the things that limit his life.? They limit his professional success, his happiness, and his relationships.? I love sharing these journeys of curiosity and appreciate when I talk to people that are open.? The context of our conversation was the idea of the Upper Limit problem as described by Gay Hendricks in the book The Big Leap.? I frequently use the ideas described there to assist friends and clients in their investigation of finding more purpose and building more joy in their life.? For him we focused on fear.? Fear of not being good enough and fear of not meeting expectations of others.? Both of which are also very familiar to me, and likely many of you.? I will avoid going into depth on the Upper Limit problem here, though I highly recommend the book.?
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That conversation reminded me of a recent LinkedIn post(see comments for a link)? made by master sales coach to financial advisory professionals, Amy Parvaneh ?? .? ?Amy eloquently posted about her own anxiety and how she has turned that commonly perceived “bad” emotion into fuel.?? For her it provides motivation to succeed, in her words: “I have found that anxiety is, in essence, a deeply powerful pool of motivation”.? She celebrates anxiety and how it has become her ally.?
My perception is that she, like all of us, recognizes, in her head, the challenge and obstacle of the anxiety.? Unlike many of us, she consciously decides to reengineer her perception.? It is not a threat; it is an opportunity.? However, none of that logical jiujitsu would be possible without the powerful inspiration and clarity created by her feelings.? She appears to harness the feelings provoked by her anxiety as a road map for her brain.?? First, they influence her perspective, then they build her thoughts and finally they prompt her action.? Again, in her words: “The very sensation that may have held me back has become the catalyst for me to push boundaries and follow my aspirations wholeheartedly.”? We all want to solve problems by figuring them out.? Though our brains are powerful, when we engage our gut and our heart as well, we become powerful beyond measure.?
Back to my coaching client and his challenge with fear.? We all have these obstacles that limit our growth, our success, and our joy in life.? ?Going beyond listening to our brain, and warmly welcoming the feelings in our gut and our heart provide us a road map to the root of these obstacles, and there lies the buried treasure.? The clarity, peace and ease that arise from embracing our feelings and self-love will illuminate the opportunities life is offering us.?? As individuals we are far more powerful than we realize when we feel our feelings.? As leaders our example of embracing feeling and encouraging it our team members builds the muscle of vulnerability, trust, and much stronger more effective teams.?
Do you not only allow your feelings, but love and welcome them?
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As a leader do you set an example by allowing others to see you feel your feelings, and do you encourage others to do the same in a safe environment?
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Please add responses in the comments below.
Debra Sunderland Amy Wong Joanna G. Burish, MBA Melissa Dotson Business Culture and Workplace Expert Ray B. Greg Offsay, CCIM Kevin Kessinger ProVisors Joseph Thompson
Thanks for the insightful share, Neil. I love your posts, and Gay Hendricks's Upper Limit concept is powerful. Emotions like anxiety can be allies when channeled intentionally and on-purpose. Like Amy, I say that our emotions are our most important guidance. Befriending them is a true strength... which can illuminate paths for ourselves and those we inspire. ??
Coaching CEOs & Teams to reclaim time | Shift priorities & results | Well-being & purpose Power of Decisions Keynote Speaker | Exec Retreats/ Workshops | Enneagram| Conflict Communication | Author | NYU inner MBA
1 年Feeling our feelings all the way, through instead of stuffing them down or ignoring them is the work. The wisdom comes once the feelings pass instead of allowing the stored feelings as triggers to drive decisionmaking and relationships. Most people have not been taught how to access the wisdom of their emotions- or what they mean. It takes being still and pausing when they come and allowing them to get as big as they want to get- so they will release. It’s an electrical current that comes from the thought generated from the brain. Emotion actually means energy in motion. Allowing up to 90 seconds to be with the wave of emotion, no matter how small or big —and welcome the feeling instead of resist is the scary new path ro healing, and the wanted results in life and work. Resisting causes stress, tension, and even illness in the body. Becoming emotionally intelligent is a thriving leader and organization!
Driven, Creative Real Estate Professional
1 年Thanks for sharing, Neil. Good stuff here. "Overcoming" negative emotions (and experiences) is admirable, but "rechanneling" them for growth is a differentiator for successful leaders with high EQ.
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1 年https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/amyparvaneh_embraceanxiety-catalystforgrowth-faceyourfears-activity-7102619718104084480-wara?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop