THE POWER OF EXPECTATIONS: HOW OUR THOUGHTS SHAPE OUR LIFE

“Just as the seasons always change the world's landscape, our Self defies the illusion that we remain unchanged a second after the present moment, insisting on showing that we are an unfinished work. We are a work without end!” (Marcello de Souza)

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Imagine being in a car, looking at the horizon as the road unfolds ahead of you. As you watch the ever-changing landscapes, you ponder the journey that has brought you to this point. Memories of who you were in the past and the understanding of how much you've grown over the years flow through your mind. But here's the fascinating twist: have you ever thought about how this journey will continue in the future?

Before we continue, I would like you to do a self-reflection exercise. For this, take a paper and pen, step away from your phone, and then, let's proceed with the exercise:

First, I want you to do a self-assessment of yourself today, in relation to the characteristics that describe you and that you understand to be the most important, such as extroverted, enthusiastic, critical, argumentative, reliable, self-disciplined, etc. (Don’t skimp on lines and be very sincere – imagine as much as possible).

Done! Now, do this same assessment as if you were going back 10 years. What characteristics represented you ten years ago?

Done! Now, point out which of them have changed and formed you into who you see yourself as today. Compare your answer from ten years ago with your description of today. Can you perceive the changes? Describe what they were!

Done! So, now, I want you to make the maximum effort and do the same for ten years from now. How do you see yourself, what characteristics will represent you ten years from now? Describe them!

Finally, compare your answer of today with your description of ten years from now. Can you perceive the changes? Describe what they were!

Important: Don’t change anything from now on. For now, let's leave this exercise aside and continue with the text, we'll return to it soon, okay!

Continuing…

Let's go back to the car and you looking at the horizon. Have you ever thought about how this journey will continue in the future?

This metaphorical scene echoes the complexity of a bias that few realize, called the “end of history illusion.” The expression may sound enigmatic, but its meaning is deeply human and familiar.

Imagine you are watching a series that seems to have reached a satisfying conclusion. Everything seems resolved, characters have achieved their goals, and the plot appears to have reached its peak. However, suddenly the streaming service announces that the story continues, new chapters are still to come. The end of history illusion is precisely this: the human tendency to believe we are at the peak of our personal evolution, that our current characteristics, beliefs, and values are definitive. This illusion leads us to underestimate our potential for future change and growth. It makes us see the present “self” as the final point of our journey, ignoring the natural continuity of human development.

This subject is so important and current that I want to explore the idea of the “end of history illusion” more deeply today, and thus, understand a bit more about ourselves by delving into an intriguing human dilemma: how much we sometimes need a reality check to value the imperative life imposes on us, which is constant change, shaped by experiences, learning, and growth, versus the freedom of choice and its values for new choices.

I want to help break a cognitive link that often, and believe me, it is really often, unconsciously traps us in a mental loop that leads us to believe that the current “self” is the final destination — a kind of stop in the evolution station.

I invite you to explore the lucidity of your “self” that is both past and future, diving into the depths of our understanding of time, change, and resistance to the idea that our story is far from over.

How about challenging your own perceptions and embracing the constant dynamic that there is always room to go further?

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UNDERSTANDING THE ILLUSION OF THE END OF HISTORY

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Any good professional working with Cognitive Behavioral Development, when attending to their client, can quickly perceive how deeply they might be immersed in the illusion of the end of their own history, and at the same time, how deluded they are about themselves.

I know it seems a bit harsh to say this, but in reality, it is not. This is because it happens to all of us. The fact is that unraveling the layers of this cognitive phenomenon and examining how it shapes decisions, aspirations, and perspectives is not an easy journey, as it relates to stories, examples, experiences lived year after year, which often lead us to the illusion of the present in a way that makes us underestimate our potential for future growth. That’s why, more than just understanding the concept to bring this self-reality to light, we need to reflect on how we can transcend this psychological trap and embrace a more expansive vision of ourselves and our challenging destiny.

Indeed, I can categorically state that we are all capable of recognizing our evolution from who we were in the past to who we are today, but we can hardly envision that we will continue to change in the future, and this is where the intriguing and psychologically complex concept known as the “end of history illusion” arises.

To explain it better, I want to give a real example of a colleague and client who is also an excellent behavioral therapist and who asked me for help precisely to break her status quo in which she found herself (by the way, it was she who inspired me to write about this topic today).

Nara (a fictitious name), is a therapist, and in her history since childhood, she has gone through several difficult experiences that marked her life. Today she has a vast and lucid understanding of the human mind, understanding the capacity of neuroplasticity as a deep and fundamental part of human evolution. Like many of us, she is capable of observing how her beliefs, behaviors, and skills have evolved over the years. This recognition is used by her, for example, to help people find their paths and demonstrate to each of them our real capacity to change and grow.

However, at some point, Nara realized she was stuck in a loop of thoughts, attitudes, and choices. When Nara tried to project this change onto herself in the future, she encountered a cognitive obstacle. Her perception of her current “self” was so convincing that she began to focus her efforts on everything she had achieved so far, underestimating the possibility of future changes that could take her much further. She was living in a mental paradox at that moment. Even knowing she had enough knowledge and skills to move forward, she didn’t! Her reality had become repetitive and illusory, slowing down her own identity evolution. This is where the illusion of the end of history comes into play, making Nara view her current state as the “final destination” of her evolution. She comprehended all past evolution but failed to imagine that her “self” would continue to evolve, which could expand her own construction of reality regarding her personal and professional life.

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WHAT IS THE IMPACT OF THE END OF HISTORY ILLUSION?

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This bias has profound implications in our daily lives, including decision-making. Nara, like all other clients I have had the opportunity to work with, may find herself hesitating to seek new opportunities or challenges, think differently, or look for new things, assuming that her current characteristics and thoughts, as well as the way she sees and constructs the meaning of her life, are already definitive. This belief is one of the major limitations to personal and professional growth, preventing us from embracing changes and breaking paradigms in search of new experiences.

Yes! At some point in life, we will go through this because it is an intricate human tendency, and this helps explain why we have so much difficulty projecting future changes. Now, do not confuse this with dreams, desires, and wishes. I am talking here about the “self.” For example, we find it very easy to project a dream into the future, something tangible that we want to have, achieve, or even surpass. The problem is that in this projection, we often forget to add a change, which is a determining factor for realization: the “self” factor. Let me explain it differently: Imagine you want to reach a certain position or start a certain business. You might have this desire detailed and planned in your mind or even on paper. Invest in consultants, hire specialists, etc. Dedicate your time to something that truly belongs to you. So far, so good! What cannot happen, but often does, is you forget to include your “self” in the “equation.” In other words, what are the characteristics and attributes that people will recognize in you and that will form this “self” when you are in this “present of the future”?

There are certain mental routines related to specific mental areas that tend to emphasize the present and the known, often at the expense of future evolutionary possibilities. This bias is one of the reasons why we struggle to imagine our future “self” as substantially different from our current “self.” An illusion created from our own history. In other words, one of the major problems we have with the future is that we do not give enough details for our own minds to make sense of what will matter when it arrives. In fact, we forget to mention the most important thing, which is precisely the “self.”

Do not be mistaken: This is a neurological and psychological issue. It has nothing to do with self-help; it is pure science! I will describe a simple published study on the topic, which is in the journal Science (https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.1229294) titled “The End of History Illusion.” Led by Professor Jordi Quoidbach and his colleagues to research this subject, they created a series of questionnaires and asked participants to reflect on their past, present, and future. It was divided into two stages:

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1st Phase: Focus on Personality: In the first stage, all participants evaluated themselves concerning a series of characteristics. For example, how they identified themselves as:

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·???????? Extroverted, enthusiastic

·???????? Critical, quarrelsome

·???????? Reliable, self-disciplined

·???????? Anxious, easily upset

·???????? Open to new experiences, complex

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2nd Phase: Next, the researchers asked half of the participants to imagine answering the same question 10 years in the past and the other half to imagine answering it 10 years in the future. More than 7,500 participants responded, with ages ranging from 18 to 68. A noteworthy point: This age spectrum allowed Quoidbach and his colleagues to evaluate how people perceive their personal change trajectories at different life stages and experiential contexts. Thus, the study included participants from newly graduated individuals who had just entered adulthood to those approaching retirement age.

The interesting observation was that although the average participant observed considerable personality changes in the past, they predicted very few changes in the future, as if their “self” would remain frozen in its current form for the rest of their lives.

In this same vein, Quoidbach and his colleagues extended the research to study how the end of history illusion would apply to personal values. They analyzed responses from 2,700 participants, asking them to indicate the importance of concepts and values such as hedonism, achievements, and traditions in their lives. Then, they imagined their responses 10 years in the past or 10 years in the future. The result was that the end of history illusion was fully present—people acknowledged how their concepts and values had changed in the past but were unable to foresee changes in these perspectives in the future.

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CHANGE, PREFERENCES, AND DECISIONS THROUGHOUT LIFE

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“Just as the stars twinkle in the night sky, our self also shines at every moment of life, in a constant flow of change in the unreachable pursuit of perfection.” (Marcello de Souza)

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I hope by now you have understood that this belief is not restricted to specific generations. Both grandparents and teenagers share the idea that changes have significantly diminished and that they have become the people they will be for the rest of their lives. This mentality that history is about to end persists in our way of thinking. This illusion is not just a psychological curiosity but has profound implications in our lives.

It is responsible for creating noise in our personality and self-devaluation, which, in turn, leads us to fear change, fixating on who we are now. However, this sense of comfort has a price, often depriving us of experiences that would enrich our lives and turn dreams into reality. It applies to so many other areas of life, like personal tastes. Want to see: Who among us has never been embarrassed to show that photo with that outfit and hairstyle? Or that tattoo that you later wonder why you got it?

The fact is that whether it’s fashion, tattoos, or even choices we regret, evolution, and refinement of our most personal preferences over the decades, the end of history illusion is always present in our personal journey. This illusion, which makes us believe that the present is the peak of our identity, influences us in all areas of life and also permeates our most important decisions. For example, it includes the illusion that we can always postpone things because they will always be there. Yes! We tend to postpone pleasant experiences, convinced that if they are available today, they will also be available tomorrow.

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NAVIGATING THE UNCERTAINTY OF CHANGE

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I remember confronting Nara about herself. And, like so many others, it is very easy to see that people are more susceptible to this bias when they insist on demonstrating how much they like themselves, believing that their personality is attractive to others and that their values should be admired. For many, and as with Nara, it is frightening to think that if they were to change, they would be abandoning this alienating state of fulfillment and, therefore, it makes so much sense to cling to who they are now—without a doubt, this will reduce feelings of uncertainty. More certainty, less anxiety, right?

The fact is that we like to believe that we have a deep understanding of ourselves. The idea that we comprehend our personalities, values, and preferences gives us an illusory sense of stability and security. However, when we are faced with the possibility that these fundamental aspects may change and that we are at this moment only a fraction of what we have yet to become, we are confronted with existential anxiety. In other words, imagine a carefully assembled puzzle. Each piece represents a trait of our identity—our tastes, beliefs, passions, and aversions. We all tend to believe that each piece is in the right place and that the portrait is complete. However, when you allow yourself to open up to its meaning and significance in light of everything yet to come, what happens is a shift in perspective and, like an unexpected breeze, scatters all the pieces, mixing with many others, challenging us to rearrange them. And this is not easy to face! Do you know why? It is a solitary journey with no one to feed our ego.

The prospect of personal metamorphosis disturbs us because it is rooted in uncertainty. We do not know how we will be different in the future, which pieces will remain intact, and which will be transformed. This lack of clarity creates an uncomfortable gap between what we think we know about ourselves and the undeniable possibility that our identity references will not be the same in the next moment.

That is why, naturally, as with what happened with Nara, the existential anxiety that emerges from this conflict arises from our nature to seek constancy and coherence. When our convictions about ourselves are shaken, we face the uncomfortable reality that our understanding is fluid and mutable. After all, if we cannot accurately predict who we will be in the future, how can we be sure of who we are today?

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ALLOW YOURSELF!

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"Just as footprints fade in the sand, the journey of life is marked by continuous transformations. Looking back, we realize that who we were a decade ago is a deep chasm from who we are today. A Self, once thought to be unshakeable, has flowed, metamorphosed, or vanished within the choices on a time horizon. This realization reveals that change is the only constant in our existential flow.” (Marcello de Souza)

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In every choice, there is anguish. This is a natural reaction to the profound questions about the existential nature that lies between identity and time. As we consider that the story of our life continues to be written, we begin to see that our certainties are merely temporal moments in a constantly evolving narrative. The doubts arising from this understanding prompt us, or should prompt us, to explore the complexity of our own existence. In other words, I want you to understand and reflect on the cost that psychological comfort offers. Often, it has a price, impairing our judgment in important life decisions. The fact is that the illusion of the end of the story can lead us to postpone pleasurable experiences and immeasurable achievements to the point where we no longer desire them.

To recognize if you are living this bias, it is important to conduct a deep and sincere self-assessment. Moreover, it is essential to be aware of certain signs, such as resistance to change, stagnation in self-perception, lack of exploration, aversion to change, repetitive thoughts and ideas, discussion of always similar themes, low creativity, lack of innovative proposals, among others. If you notice these patterns in your behavior and thinking, it may be an indication that you are falling into the illusion of the end of the story.

Before concluding, it is worth returning to the starting point, the self-assessment exercise I proposed at the beginning of this text. The proposed exercise is a great example of this. It invites you to reflect on your current characteristics, how you were ten years ago, and how you imagine you will be in a decade. By doing this, you become more aware of the changes that have occurred over time and may realize that your characteristics and perspectives are not fixed but rather evolutionary.

So: Do you still have the answers you wrote about the characteristics you described as your own today, ten years ago, and those you imagined for a decade from now?

Thus, I hope you now understand that this exercise invited us to a deep and sincere analysis of ourselves and has already set us on the path to understanding the complexity of change. And if you had difficulties, don’t worry, we all do! However, make this exercise a tool for empowerment and self-awakening. After all, just as the constantly changing landscape we observe while traveling, our personal journey is marked by continuous transformations. And as exhaustively stated, when we look back, we will likely notice that who we were ten years ago is different from who we are now. Personality traits that once seemed solid and immutable have evolved, transformed, or even disappeared forever. This observation reveals that change is a constant in our lives.

I hope this text truly leads you to question the choices you are making today, the directions you are taking, the priorities, as well as the thoughts that surround your mind. And that from time to time you allow yourself to ask: Am I considering enough this intrinsic capacity for change when charting my path? Am I allowing myself to blossom towards the unknown, or am I keeping myself a prisoner of the illusion of the end of the story?

Just as the road unfolds before us, life continues to present new landscapes and challenges. If we cling to the idea that the present is the final destination, we may deprive ourselves of the wonders that personal evolution can offer. Therefore, as we explore the complexity of life, let’s return to the self-assessment exercise and recognize how it always helps us gain a deep understanding of the fluidity of our own “self.” In other words, as the road continues to unfold, it is up to us to embrace the journey of self-discovery, knowing that, just as the seasons always change the world’s scenery, we too are in constant transformation.

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Hello, I’m Marcello de Souza! I started my career in 1997 as a leader and manager in a large company in the IT and Telecommunications market. Since then, I have participated in important projects of structuring, implementation, and optimization of telecommunications networks in Brazil. Restless and passionate about behavioral and social psychology. In 2008, I decided to delve into the universe of the human mind.

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Since then, I have become a professional passionate about deciphering the secrets of human behavior and catalyzing positive changes in individuals and organizations. Doctor in Social Psychology, with over 25 years of experience in Cognitive Behavioral and Human Organizational Development. With a wide-ranging career, I highlight my role as:

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My solid academic background includes four postgraduates and a doctorate in Social Psychology, along with international certifications in Management, Leadership, and Cognitive Behavioral Development. My contributions in the field are widely recognized in hundreds of classes, training sessions, conferences, and published articles.

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