The Power of Empathy in Dealing with Trauma

My second-oldest daughter is home from college. Last night, she entered the house around midnight, after a night out riding go-karts with friends. When my 15-year old heard the door sensors, she ran into my room and jumped in the bed. After saying, "I'm scared mommy", she refused to leave, so I had the uncomfortable role of sleeping 'in the middle' all night. When I woke up in the morning, I began to cry. I thought about all of the children at Robb Elementary School who were scared. Nineteen students and two teachers were murdered. Some children will have nightmares. Others will never be able to erase the memory of seeing the horror on their peers faces, or hearing screams and gunshots, or knowing people who died. Additionally, several families will have the unpleasant experience of paying for and attending an unexpected funeral.

My daughter is 15. It's been a while since she slept in the bed with us all night. Yet, with all that is going on, I can understand why she would be afraid. Two years ago, we witnessed the murder of George Floyd. In the past two weeks alone, there have been mass shootings at a supermarket, church, and school, where Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics, were targeted respectively. Prior to the shootings, parents and administrators literally spent the last five (5) months fighting over race, books, sexual orientation, and gender identity, to name a few. The fight even impacted?Disney World , of all places.

Who could be scared in your personal circle? Who could use a word of encouragement in your organization? What can you do that would be meaningful?

The words "I'm scared mommy" refers to the perpetual state of drama and trauma, where some people are preoccupied with their own beliefs, feelings, and needs more than they care about anyone or anything else. Nevertheless, there's hope. I ask that you take this moment to be aware of how your actions are affecting others. Spend a few moments checking in with your children, nieces/nephews, grandchildren, neighbors, relatives, and employees. Slow down for a minute so that you can show you care by listening, supporting, being uncomfortable, or giving your undivided attention.

Greater Good Magazine says, "The term 'empathy' is used to describe a wide range of experiences. Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling." Theresa Wiseman, a nursing scholar, noted four attributes of empathy:

• Perspective taking.
• Staying out of judgment.
• Recognizing emotions.
• Communicating.

Watch a video on the difference between empathy and sympathy. Certainly, there's no one right way to demonstrate empathy, but at this point in time, it is needed more than ever before.

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Leah Smiley, CDE?, is the President of the Society for Diversity. For more information about DEI leadership programs, visit: www.societyfordiversity.org .

For details about professional credentials as a Certified Diversity Professional (CDP)? or Certified Diversity Executive (CDE)?, visit: www.diversitycertification.org .