The Power of "Delayed Gratification"

What is it?

Delayed gratification is the ability to postpone an immediate gain or pleasure in favor of greater and later reward.(1)

Why is it important?

As simple as it could be, delayed gratification is the ability you have or learn that helps you reach your biggest goals and/or dreams.

What are some examples of delayed gratification?

• The example that is mostly used for delayed gratification is the one with an exam and a TV. You could stay all night watching television and enjoying that little time you had (instant gratification), or study for an exam that you have tomorrow and eventually get a better grade at the end of the semester (delayed gratification).?
• What happens when you are on a diet and you are invited to an amazing party, buffet or dinner? If you give in and start eating from everything and forget about your diet (instant gratification), you’ll be satisfying your current needs while, on the other hand, if you stick to eating something light, you’ll be using delayed gratification to reach the ultimate weight you’ve set for yourself.?
• What do you do when you like someone and you know that they are not available for the time being? You can throw yourself in the fire now for the instant gratification of doing something about it, or just wait and try when it is more fit, which could lead to better results (delayed gratification)
• What do you do when you’re just lazy and don’t want to go to the gym? The choice is clear, the instant gratification is just about being lazy and enjoying the stay at home or doing something else. Or, you could postpone your immediate enjoyment and laziness, hit the gym, and eventually get the results you’ve been seeking and wanting so badly (delayed gratification)
• Procrastination!!! Yes! Here’s a work example. You’ve set goals for this year, you want to accomplish the impossible. One day, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and just want to do nothing! Although you’ve planned, you’ve written goals, and you’ve promised yourself to achieve them, you decide to stay at home and not work. What that does is give you your daily dose of instant gratification. However, in the long run, it is going to affect your performance and pre-set goals. But if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and still choose to go for your goals, you’d be canceling that little gratification and transforming that bad energy to a greater one by following in and continuing the process that you already started in the pursuit of a greater and more pleasurable outcome.
• Delay the gratification of shopping for things you don't really need, and earn the long-term reward of having more savings and/or financial freedom.

The marshmallow test

In a psychological study (2) performed on children in the 1970s, Walter Mischel placed a treat in front of children and offered them a choice. They could either enjoy the treat now or wait a brief period of time in order to get two snacks.

When the experimenter left the room, many of the kids immediately ate the treat (often a pretzel or marshmallow), but some of the kids were able to put off the urge to enjoy the treat now and wait for the reward of getting two delicious goodies later on. (3)

How does your mindset affect delayed gratification?

The marshmallow study that was conducted on children promised a more pleasurable treat if the children managed to wait instead of grabbing the treat in front of them. In this experiment, the children were positive that if they waited the reward shall be there. But how true is this in a real life situation??

One might have given up a cake, but still did not lose significant weight. Another might have studied for an exam but still failed to succeed. Others might have canceled plans in order to put more time into work, but still failed to achieve their goals. This shows that in a real life situation, delayed gratification is not always waiting for us and even if it was, it does not always work with a deadline! And that is what makes it more complicated. More importantly, this is where mindset plays a huge role.

How would you know that if you wait enough, you’ll get what you want? Honestly, from hands-on experience, you can’t know it for sure. You just have to believe in yourself. In your mind, you will have to see it happen. You will even have to understand and accept the fact that it might not happen, while waiting for it to happen. Yes! It’s tricky! This is more about trusting your abilities, believing in yourself, and accepting the fact that waiting for a greater pleasure (delayed gratification) is far more important than getting an immediate pleasure. This means that you seek better results, that you live to explore a different world than what is set in front of you, that you give it your best to achieve more and reach where you always wanted to reach.?

How do your values and self-control affect delayed gratification?

Values are what is important for us. With every decision we make, we choose what is important for us. In that sense, values play an important role as an aspect of our lives that affects delayed gratification.?

If we’re not using delayed gratification, our values are shifting from the long run success, achievements, pleasures … into the instant gratifications that life offers along the way. This too is widely affected by our ability to control our emotions and desires.?

You need to understand that however you divert your focus and energy, your values and self-control will be affected. Hence, your perception of what you want and cherish changes, which leads to an increase of the use of delayed gratification.?

It’s all a matter of perception. If you perceive instant gratification as a value and you cherish it, you’ll be using it more often. If you understand how important it is to delay gratifications, you’ll put more focus on the long run, hence, changing your values into greater ones, and improve your self control in a way that benefits you.?

A final word

Delayed gratification is not easy nor always promising in terms of assured delayed satisfaction. But if you keep on delaying small gratifications in the pursuit of greater ones, you’ll get there! You’ll eventually see the results. It might not happen exactly when you wanted it to happen, and it might not be the same as you anticipated, but in the long run, it’s worth the delay!?

References

1 - Twito, L., Israel, S., Simonson, I., & Knafo-Noam, A. (1AD, January 1). The motivational aspect of children's delayed gratification: Values and decision making in Middle Childhood. Frontiers. Retrieved January 11, 2022, from https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01649/full?

2- Mischel W, Ebbesen EB. Attention in delay of gratification. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1970;16(2):329–337. doi:10.1037/h0029815

3- Cherry, K. (2020, May 11). Can you resist temptation with delayed gratification? Verywell Mind. Retrieved January 11, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/delayed-gratification-why-wait-for-what-you-want-2795429#citation-1?