Power of Daily Guideposts

Power of Daily Guideposts

Do you constantly have that pang of guilt in your stomach?? Do you worry about making the wrong trade-offs every day between your job, your family, your friends, and yourself? Are you afraid you are not doing any of your roles as well as you could?? Welcome to 2022!

I struggled very much with these feelings, especially when my three kids were young. I often felt like a terrible Mom, Daughter, Wife, and Friend. I worried I was choosing work over personal and family priorities far too often. But I kept soldiering on.? Then I had one specific incident that woke me up…

My oldest son’s soccer team was playing in the US Youth Soccer National Championship in Boston–6 teams from around the country competing to be #1. It was truly exciting–doubly so because much of our family is in New England so we would have a crowd to cheer him on.? During the first round robin game my phone rang. It was my CEO. He needed me back in Atlanta ASAP. I begrudgingly got on the next available flight. It was the wrong move. I honestly don’t remember what he needed me for so badly. But my family remembers I missed that special week.? That’s when I decided I needed to create some boundaries for myself. This was MY life and I needed to take back control of it.

I sat down and wrote out some commitments to myself and my family. Then I shared and refined them with my husband.? These were promises like:

  • If my oldest son ever makes it back to the Nationals I won’t miss it
  • I will make half of all three kids soccer games
  • I won’t work on the weekend and will be 100% Mom and Wife
  • I will make dinner at least 3 times a week
  • I will be home by 6pm at least 2 times a week
  • I will workout 3 times a week
  • I will attend a networking event at least 2 times a month
  • I will not miss book club (and will read the book!)

This type of list turned out to be very powerful for me. The magic I found was that I didn’t have to torture myself every day with trying to make appropriate trade-offs.? I had already decided! I have managed to keep this habit for 15 years, adjusting the list every six months or so.? Although I should tell you that there is one serious twist to it–you have to be willing to live with any potential consequences your guideposts might create.? There is a chance your work context won’t allow for what you’ve promised yourself. You need to be willing to leave and find a job that can.? There is a chance you won’t get promoted as quickly. You need to be ok with that.? But I promise you that being in control of your own life far outweighs those risks.

I didn’t have to torture myself every day with trying to make appropriate trade-offs.? I had already decided!

So take some time to start writing out your daily (or weekly) guideposts. Share them with your significant other if you have one and adapt the list together.? Live by them for a month, adjust and then let me know how it’s going.? I'd love to hear!

Wendy Hultmark, ACC

Career Detangler | Cultivator of High-Functioning Teams | Certified in Everything DiSC ? and 5 Behaviors of a Cohesive Team? | Leadership Resilience Coach |Speaker | Cozy Mystery Fangirl

2 年

I've always thought "work-life balance" was a misnomer. Work is part of life and to separate it and contrast it to "life" is a huge oversimplification. Love the guidepost concept.

Allison Mason

Field Marketing Leader @Red Hat I Builder and Scaler of High Performing Teams

2 年

I love this! Thanks for sharing, Jackie.

Kathleen Schaub

Author, Strategist - Marketing Management & Organizations | Former IDC CMO Advisory Leader

2 年

These lists are gifts to your future self. Saves the constant rethinking because you've already thought through the trade-offs. Sharing them (and possibly negotiating them) with partners and managers would also alleviate arguments or disappointments when trade-offs are needed. Good advice, Jackie!

This definitely resonates - and I love the idea of having a concrete list. Someone once told me "guilt is a wasted emotion," but it is such a struggle!

Mindy L. Cunningham

Senior Vice President Customer Success & Services, Vertex | CHIEF Founding Member | CX Leader | Founder & Investor

2 年

Love this! I don’t seek work life balance anymore and haven’t for years…it’s more about achieving peace with the decisions you make and giving yourself grace. There is always something sacrificed, but when you achieve peace you achieve balance. ????

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