The power of a counterexample.

The power of a counterexample.

I believe in counterexamples.

Role models feel aspirational—lofty, and a little out of reach.

Counterexamples feel practical—immediate, and memorable.

Don’t get me wrong. I love great role models. I lap up biographies, and I am thoroughly inspired by people who’ve changed the world and who’ve done remarkable things. I love discovering new remote heroes—people whom I don’t know and can’t see, but whom I can read about, imagine, and look up to.

But, I find counterexamples to be more accessible. When you sit in traffic, and someone cuts you off. When you see someone rude at an airline counter. When you see someone jump a queue. When you see someone make a mess and not clean up after. When you see someone sit back and not lend a helping hand. When you see someone act in a condescending way to others.

Seeing the opposite of what you deem to be good, responsible human behavior—unfolding right in front of you—can evoke a visceral revulsion. You can feel a spontaneous, "Man, I hope that I never do that," reaction rising within you.

The discomfort stays with you, and makes for a great teachable moment.

Counterexamples have left their mark on me.

Seeing someone be unkind has made me want to be kinder. Seeing someone be rude has made me want to be more polite. Seeing someone be afraid has made me want to face my own fears. Seeing someone fritter away their time has spurred me to use mine better. Seeing someone be lazy has made me want to work harder. Seeing someone be negative has made me want to be positive. Seeing someone be judgmental has made me want to be understanding. Seeing someone be angry has made me want to be gentle. Seeing someone be condescending has made me want to be inclusive. Seeing someone be passive-aggressive has made me want to be direct. Seeing someone be cold has made me want to smile more. Seeing someone be disparaging has made me want to praise more. Seeing someone burn bridges has made me want to build more.

Because a counterexample’s bad behavior is so specific, so pointed, and so in-your-face, it becomes the ultimate, practical how-not-to guide. It can remind you of how not to behave, the words not to utter, the tone not to use, the actions not to take, the reaction not to have, and the attitude not to exhibit.

The mental recoil of a counterexample, seared in your brain, can make you a better person. Witnessing bad behavior come to life right in front of you, in another human being, can be more instructive and transformative than reading about the good deeds of remote heroes.

Who not to become, is as potent and instructive (if not more), than who to become.

Sometimes, you can learn from the worst, better than from the best.

Jeyerajha Janakeramen

Builder | Product Enthusiast | Learning AI

3 个月

Thank you, Priya Narasimhan, for sharing your counterintuitive perspective on learning from counterexamples (how not to guide) vs good behaviours/role models. Deep thought to reflect upon. Setbacks and failures provide an opportunity to pause and bring out the best in every human being. This perspective resonates with the below-mentioned quote. “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ―?M. Scott Peck

Uma Ranjan

Computer Vision and Signal Processing Researcher | Healthcare , Automotive, Transportation

3 个月

reminds me of the mathematical proofs that start with "suppose not"

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