The Power of Conversation

Conversations are much different than discussions, and, no it’s not just semantics.

At least, that was the overarching decision we came to on a recent group coaching call with Canadian corporate and government leaders.?

After weeks of participating in our Confident Leadership Program, participants were anxious to talk about how to motivate higher performance from their teams.?

Motivating employees to perform better seemed to be a universal concern. The old ways weren’t working, and they made everyone feel uncomfortable. There had to be a better way.

And like most things we coach to, it boiled down to improving communication.

By the end of our conversation (yes, we practice what we preach!) all the leaders on the call agreed that conversations — as opposed to discussions or meetings or reviews or sessions — were the best way to motivate better performance at work.

But why, exactly, are they better at motivating? What is so special about conversations? How did we reach that conclusion?

Well, conversations are innately a back-and-forth, a give and take, an exchange of ideas — which means they automatically level the playing field between those involved. It makes for a more open and honest interaction. One leader on the call put it this way:

“'Conversation' implies informal, two-way give and take, authentic exploration, a level playing field. It also implies shared responsibility, not just one up, one down. In a conversation, you’re both there as the whole person. I think people are afraid of what 'conversation’ implies because we have conversations socially, but at work, we have ‘discussions’ and ‘reviews’ and ‘sessions.’ Shifting to ‘conversation’ can move us forward so much.”

On one level, it’s a mere mindset shift. Changing the way you see interactions can change the effectiveness of your leadership. Thinking about an interaction (with a colleague or staff member, for example) as a conversation allows for more authenticity and vulnerability.

Vulnerability and authenticity are far more likely to inspire and engage than the traditional modes of top-down interaction often used in a more traditional (and we all agreed, less effective) organizational setting.?

This is especially true when it comes to motivation.

We are constantly coaching to this simple fact: Motivation inherently relies on participation. If your team is engaged in their tasks, they’re more likely to perform better. To use conversation to motivate better employee performance, you simply have to discover (together) why the work matters. One leader on the call put it best:

“To inspire an employee, they need to understand how their work is contributing to a change or a benefit, both to them and to the project. I try to create as much conversation around their WHY and their WAY as I can: Why are we doing this? Why should we do it this way or that way? How have you been working? Do you like this type of work? Where do you want to go? Those are easy conversations to have, and they create amazing relationships and engagement.”

(By the way, it’s so exciting to hear these coaching insights applied to our clients’ real life experiences. That’s why we love our group coaching calls.)

But you can’t have a truly genuine conversation about your shared why if both people aren’t comfortable expressing their true thoughts and ideas.?

The only way you can both get comfortable is through building trust.

Trust is crucial to open up space for meaningful conversation. As another leader on the call said:

“We need to build trust around the idea that it’s okay to have ideas and for those ideas to not be liked. It was a bit of a shift for me and my team, but it truly is okay to just talk.”

While much of the work to move from discussions to conversations to motivate employees is a mindset shift, there’s another big piece of the puzzle: Organizational culture.?

That’s an easy one too, though, if your communication is authentic. Trustful organizational culture starts with healthy conversations. It’s not the other way around. As leaders, we can speak our truth, and hear the truths of others, with the intention of creating stronger bonds through vulnerability.?

It might be different from what you’re currently doing, and it might take some courage to change the status quo, but the effort is indeed worth the reward.

Creating a culture of trust in your organization can start with one conversation.?

It can start with you.?

Dale Allen and Trevor Stevenson are the founding coaches of ConsciousLead. They are partners in life and in business with over 20 years of experience helping leaders and teams make sustainable change. Their signature coaching program, the Confident Leadership Program, sets leaders at all levels up with an action plan and lifelong practices to promote trust in themselves so they can lead with confidence.